What is a Covert Narcissist? Complete Overview!

What is a covert narcissist? It's a person who has a narcissistic personality disorder but maybe does not show the grandiose sense of self-importance typically associated with narcissism. They may appear shy or modest at times.
Learn more about narcissism by subscribing!

I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in the state of California.
I will work to help you integrate your past with your present and your mind with your body. My approach blends developing greater self-awareness with knowledge of how the mind and emotions work, to empower you to create change in your life. I strive to help you learn to better appreciate, understand and express your emotions. And I hope to lead you to self-compassion and a more mindful awareness of your life and lived experience. I want to help you build a life you love, with meaning and an enhanced ability to cope, adapt and thrive.

You can find more info below⬇

[rra]

It took me 29 years to realize my husband was a vulnerable narcissist. It was quite an ordeal to leave him but, my life has improved 1000% and I have never looked back.

[FushiguroMegumi]

recently dropped a friend that was a covert narcissist and it wasn't until after i finally cut them out of my life I realised the control i let them have over me (I'm working through issues with my codependant traits in therapy). They prey on that voice inside you that wants to be the helper or the dependable one, don't get lost in that

[le_th_]

Healthiest advice: leave the narcissist

If you stay, you will die a slow death, often by causing you so much ongoing stress that you end up with cancer.

Leave while you can and ...for god's sake...NEVER have children with a narcissist unless you're a sadist who enjoys watching children being destroyed.

[paulrichie]

16 years with my wife. Always wondering why I am making her so angry. About 12 years ago, I begin to look inside me. I thought I was not doing a good job. I thought I was a bad husband. She always said she had so much to maintain this relationship and she had done so much for the family. I am so confused. Long time ago, I almost thought I was a narcissist. I didn't treat her good. Because I am good at my job, she said I am just so vain. Until yesterday, she had a huge rage, threating to throw all my stuff out, I decided to leave for a moment. I suddenly realize I am not the one who is a narcisst, she is the one. She always play victim. She always tell her friends I am not good enough. I feel so bad about myself, even though I am quite respected in my carreer as a team leader. Sorry for saying so much here. Hope what I say don't ruin your day.

[Jesusandcoffee]

It took me 13 years to realize my husband was a covert narcissist and a psychopath. He actually admitted he has “no sympathy, empathy or guilt for anything he does, in fact he can’t even love.” His words, not mine. He also said it absolutely enrages him to be criticized.

[effthamatrix]

Just described my mother- in detail. I swear to god at 93, I can’t bare much more of her 😩

[flooferwoofenschnizz]

When the covert narcissist is your mother, it’s a special kind of hell. 😐. I am trying to become financially independent so I do not have to interact anymore. That’s the only factor that holds me. (There are a set of circumstances) It’s very hard. These videos help, thank you.❤

[leeboriack]

Both my parents were narcissists and as a result I’ve “intuitively” partnered w 2 narcissists. Counseling or negotiating with a narcissist is an empty gesture. Counseling only educates the narcissist how to be Better at manipulation.

[personincognito]

It's taken me about 22 years to realize I am married to one. Yes, they are meek, mild and passive in public but are very passive aggressive at home. Gets stresssed easily and everything is my fault. Can not have a muture dicussion, they are defensive and blame me. There is so much more and it is so so exhausting. I'm taking steps to change my situation. I am being a grey rock until I'm set up to leave

[Shel-yw]

Wolves in Sheep's clothing. Everything is a facade. Truly pathetic, twisted and dangerous in every way.

[brendakelly]

Your description of the Covert Narcissist described my Mom exactly. Unfortunately she played me and I got all caught up with being codependent. I tried all my life trying to please this woman and nothing I did was good enough. The confusion came when one minute I wasn’t good enough to then all the love bombing. She made me feel crazy. Well at 56, I finally got her figured out with all the manipulation and belittling. She has treated my husband bad and my kids. Now she is 85 and has been diagnosed with advanced dementia with behavioral issues. She is currently in a nursing home. I decorated her room nice only to have our pictures along with her grandkids and great grandkids pictures turned upside down and stacked on a shelf. I just call the facility to check on her and hardly visit. Also have started therapy for all the childhood trauma. The one good thing in this, is I broke the mold. I did not raise my kids like she did me.

[ClioD]

Being a victim of a Narcissist partner, I met a Covert Narcissist. Fortunately I saw the red flags immediately. He confused me at first, he was telling me that he was a victim of his parents, ex wife, children, brother and friends. At first I remembered my rescuing character but at his first accusation and after being educated on Narcissism I stopped communicating with him and started thinking. I have to learn not rescuing everyone and set boundaries.

[joshuap]

Its took 11 years to see the reality of this and i think i have displayed some of the same behaviours in defense of it

[Bestbloxy_rogiel]

I’ve spent countless hours watching vids on covert narcissism and this is the best explanation. Thank you sir ❤

[natsarimthings]

when they end up alone and lonely, they will still blame you and talk shit about you.

[gorunsko]

He looks meek, but he is a skilled manipulator, First class. Marriage counseling did not connect the dots.... YouTube is a gold mine. I keep my grey rock (river rock I found while hiking) on the table, because I need to hold it in my hand to resist all the provocations from the narcissist...holiday is coming and more stressors could aggravate his anxiety. He needs scape goat...beware. Thank you Jim.🙏❤Appreciate greta tips.

[arashigumdrop]

Had believed my spouse to be overt, but realized he's covert recently.
Now I get it. Now I see it.
He used to insist to me & all three of our children - "I Do Everything & You All Do Nothing!"
He Triangulates constantly.
He's a horrible manipulator
My plan to extricate myself is in motion...
He won't know what's happening until it's too late & that train has left the station...
'As My Darkness Turns To GOLD Inside"

...Forever.

[LdyPhantom]

Wow…I was a rescuer. My marriage was the most damaging relationship I’ve had. He was a covert. I didn’t even realize until I made a plan to get out. Thankful I’m free now. You have great videos! Love your content!

[teresafraser]

My ex-husband had a combination of Covert and Overt that he nearly packaged together and used both tactics to get his own way not just with me but everyone in his life. I noticed that slowly but surely he lost respect from friends.. coworkers...bosses....his parents and siblings along with neighbors. These people can be very dangerous so if your involved with one please walk away and never look back! When I decided to finally leave I gave myself the greatest gift and created a magical life that I deserve just as everyone does 💫❤💫

[kaylashannon]

I'm 41. It took me 41 years to realize my mother is Covert. She almost killed me last year as she drove me right to the brink of suicide. I kicked her out of the apartment to save myself, and lost the apartment through the turmoil. My 4 y.o daughter and I are now in a homeless shelter and even knowing we were homeless she shut my phone off, and is now trying to take the car. I begged her friend to get her to therapy, but she refused again. Of course. Trying to hold clothes for my daughter and rescuing everything that's about to go to auction in storage over my head to see my daughter. But, I won't. I told her storage or not, there would be no visits without several therapy sessions. I told her friend- I can only heal myself. Finally I'll never have to look back or feel guilty for shutting her out and walking away. I let her friend know this was the last time the offer would be on the table. She made her choice and I made mine. Sending love to everyone recovering from the abuse.