The Silent Language Of Covert Narcissism

While overt narcissists are brash in the ways they convey self-absorption, covert narcissists use a host of silent means to let you know how they really feel. Dr. Les Carter reminds us that there is no such thing as no communication, so in order to know how to manage your reactions to the covert narcissist, you will need to be aware of their silent, but effective styles of communicating.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted more than 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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Join Dr. Carter on our Facebook page, Surviving Narcissism, for a time of live questions and answers each Thursday at 11:30 Central Time, U.S.

[Suzu]

Does anyone else have this person in their life, also but only displays this towards you and wears the "good guy" mask with everyone else?

[Ninishiningleaf]

Nothing worse than being in the presence of a loved one who ignores you. It's worse than being alone.

[lynmiller]

No one ever sees how the narc triggers you, only your reaction to their passive-aggressive behavior.

[hogski]

There's something almost supernaturally evil about these people and how they derive joy from your frustration and anxiety.

[redeoghan]

The scary thing about these people is that they can turn on a dime and start being nice when they start to realise you are onto them, only to switch back the moment they feel they can get away with it. Utterly toxic.

[Jesusismyjoy]

"Covert narcissists are some of the most difficult people on the planet." No doubt about it.

[ziziroberts]

The silent treatment is far from silent. It speaks volumes. I got tired of listening to it after a few chapters. I enjoy spending time with people who acknowledge my existence. ❤

[photoprescott]

❤️My guess: it's the looks they give you. The side-eye, the smirks, the eye-rolling, the silent treatment, the no-answer-technique, the turn-around-and-walk-away-thing, the weird grin they show you, the looking-up-and-down-at you, the waving their hand - pff..., the not looking at you when you talk, etc. etc... anything that doesn't involve spoken language. 
Their body language that gives you that weird icky feeling and the creeps. Eeew. ❤️

[CordiallyYours]

Treats strangers very well, and even outside of the family friends, but treats you like dirt. Nobody sees it nor believes you because they put on such a great show for every one else. I’ve heard over and over again about how nice he is and that I should be lucky to have such a great person in my life, bla bla bla... Nobody sees the intentional gaslighting or the anger that’s taken out on you for no reason etc... It literally takes everything out of you emotionally and physically. I’m always so drained, it’s the absolute worst to be in a situation like this...

[adrianred]

"I never said that" Yea, It starts as a form of gas lighting, but you end up at a point where you feel you should record your conversations.

[allenone]

The smirk. That never stops, does so much damage.
And not a word spoken.

[pinkposey]

Nice as pie to everyone else in life. YOU get the rage etc.

[maidmarion]

No responsibility, no commitment, no curiosity, no joy in life. No imagination. They have to have great acting abilities as they are dead inside. They are good at manipulation and strategy in controlling you. They never stop lying. They never never change not one bit. Don’t let them catch you in their web or be fooled by their act. They live to destroy good people.

[lindabaer]

I think a lot of people do not accept that purposefully omitting information is a form of LYING. And that's sad, because it is a most insidious form of lying for sure.

[jolesliewhitten]

When I finally left my covert narcissist husband, I was well beyond anger or hate—I had entered the world of UTTER INDIFFERENCE.

[johnnybates]

The best way to handle an overly narcissistic partner is to dump them. What a relief. I feel like a teenager again.

[sonjacollier]

He would create Chaos and stand back and watch it.

[stayathomecichlidmom]

The moment you first ask yourself "maybe it is me, maybe I am the crazy one"
I should've ran because deep down I know, someone that truly loves you, does not say or make you feel like your the problem and that you the one that needs help.
They also HATE when you express how something has hurt you or makes you feel upset.
The answer is always
"I know I'm just an aashole"
Kills the soul

[kimbennett]

Gaslighting at its finest. It’s completely crazy-making.

[lttlod]

Your gut feeling will tell you everything. When it does, save yourself lots of time and just run : )