12 Ways to Recognize a Covert Narcissist and How One Trait Reveals Many Other Signs of Narcissism

Learning how to spot a covert narcissist is not always easy. A covert narcissist can appear timid, shy, and introverted. Unlike overt grandiose narcissists, a covert narcissist finds subtle ways to reveal their sense of importance, delusions of grandiosity, and overall boredom with others needs.

Signs of a covert narcissist can include passive aggressive behavior, sarcasm, as well as a general disinterest in the well being or the needs of others. If you've ever loved or have been friends with a covert narcissist, the signs and symptoms included in this YouTube video on the ways to recognize a covert narcissist will most likely be traits you notice over time and once you are out of the relationship.

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Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty childhood subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. If you feel invisible, unworthy, and lack a sense of self or purpose, Lisa's work in the field of personal development can help you gain the self-awareness required to breakthrough.

Thanks for watching 12 Ways to Recognize a Covert Narcissist and How One Trait Reveals Many Other Signs of Narcissism

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[elocat]

the covert narcissist female friend will never give you a compliment on your hair, clothes, or makeup, etc., but will turn around and copy you they are so envious.

[micahcraven]

Getting involved with that narc was a blessing in disguise. I was destroyed emotionally and mentally. Physically as well. But when I came out of the other side of it- so much stronger. Narcissism is like insider knowledge. Once you see and know it you can't unsee or unknow it. It changes your world perspective in a positive way cause now I am able to protect myself from abusive relationships. Knowledge is power.

[leasah]

Shyness and introversion are not the same. I’m an introvert but not shy. I just need to get alone to recharge my energy after being around people for while.

[gloriblair]

Introverted people are not afraid of people, they just prefer their own company 🤗

[adityabee]

1. Appears to be timid/shy/introverted, which in time morphs into nastiness - passive-aggressiveness
2. Love bombing/idealisation and sob story which turns out to be a total lie.
3. Envy of others, entitlement, grandiosity, if you don't do what they want to do, they will give you the silent treatment, be aloof
4. Stonewalling, procrastination, air of superiority - won't face themselves or any shortcomings on their part
5. Self-deprecating to seek idealisation and get praise and be special in your eyes (fail in doing this, and they will become vindictive)
6. Highly sensitive to criticism (even when it is not intended towards them) so always walk around on eggshells.
7. Excuses for their behaviour, they are lazy and won't try to improve themselves. You end up being their caregiver.
8. Craves attention through negative circumstances. Playing the pity card. Garnering sympathy. But ignoring other's being sick etc.
9. They don't understand other people's needs. They are disinterested in other's problems.
10. Sudden outbursts & tantrums - i said I don't want any pepper on my eggs!!!
11. Sense of superiority in a social situation, while judging everyone else. Sense of smugness and arrogance, condescending attitude.
12. Self absorbed and in fact they don't really connect with anyone. Relationships always fail because of other's. They will only link themselves to those who can be (temporarily) useful to them.

[MuseSunflower]

You gotta ask yourself what kind of life would you be signing up for with this person? Would I want to spend my entire life feeling misunderstood, being ignored, being punished when my partner doesn't get their way, being guilted out of my boundaries?

Absolutely not! Sounds like torture

I pray for everyone in here that they find the right healing they need in order to repel people like this. You deserve the highest level of immaculate devotion from a healthy partner. Don't settle!! xo

[lilyghassemzadeh]

At this age I have zero tolerance for people around whom I have to walk on eggshells. I immediately walk away from them.

You need people with whom you are yourself and in peace of mind. 4-5 of such people are enough in life.

[kjirovec]

I was married for 34 years to a covert passive/aggressive. I was giddy throughout the divorce and people couldn't understand my happiness during this time. At least I know why it felt so good now.

[constanceyork]

100% If I had watched your videos 20 years ago my entire life would be different and better.

[hopefull]

It’s almost as if they have schizophrenia, two completely different personalities with the false self and the true self. It’s really hard for an empathetic person to grasp that the false self, that sweet kind generous vulnerable person that love- bombed us is NOT REAL. Master fakers! It’s no confusing...til the light goes on and we realize their game. Thank you Lisa for being “the light!” ❤️

[LilyGrace]

Man, I recognize a lot of this in myself from about 3 years ago. My mom's a narc and I picked up a lot of behaviors I absolutely hated. Change is possible. You just have to be willing to accept that there's a problem and it starts with you.

[decoy]

I have grown to enjoy the crunch of eggshells under my feet as I keep walking. The fading of the sound is musical when it's going away.

[TheHarpyen]

I wanna add: KINDNESS as a cover and passiv-aggressivness below

[besetfree]

Yes, when we are in the abuse we don’t comprehend it or at least the magnitude of it. But once we get out and start grasping the reality of the relationship, the FULL reality of it, we can see we were with a ravenous wolf seeking to destroy us off this planet. Once we embrace this reality we can finally learn how to keep ourselves safe. Thank you narc for waking me up to the true reality of evil and good.

[lorettaknox]

The way I handle a narcissist is to agree with them. You're right I am all the things you say. I don't know why you deal with me at all. I am ashamed of myself for being such a bad partner, friend etc. I will get better but for now I think I may be a danger to you emotionally so it's best I leave you alone. Oh so sorry! Have a great life.

[Heavenleerev]

Wow....this describes my ex. The emotional disconnect, his dismissive behavior. Thank you for this video.

[malikak]

They are insiduous, sneaky, gloomy cowards. I decided escape from such a poisonous creature when I understood that my sanity and health was destroyed almost completely by him. Still I didn't know he was a covert narc. Your videos helped me to understand whom was I dealing with while thinking I was in love. Thank you Lisa

[catbishop]

Ive watched a TON of videos on NPD but Lisa was the first one to mention the whole "the Narcissist gets annoyed when you are sick" concept. Ive never met anyone in my entire life that treats someone badly when they are sick, until the Narc entered my life. Just goes to show how unwell they are. Despicable, honestly.

[ceilconstante]

I started following Lisa in 2013 or 14. I've become very reserved, don't get to friendly to soon with anyone!! I listen and pay attention but keep my conversation impersonal. *I pay attention to how I feel after spending time with people. If I feel drained, it's a clear sign to keep things professional or polite and never get involved. I'm greatful for the few true friends I have a give and take relationship with!

[DixieGirl]

The "woe is me" hit the nail on the head. With my mom I would say she's "playing her violin" again, the pity party has started and of course she was "the queen of denial" as well. It took a long time to come to terms that I had to cut that cancer (even though it was my mother) from my life, I think it's much harder when it's a parent. My life is tremendously better without her. You do a great service with your work.