What is Codependency in Relationships?

What is codependency in relationships? Learn the signs of codependency in a relationship and how to recognize it so you can heal. Once you know the signs of a codependent relationship, you will know where to start the recovery process. For example, a codependent relationship is one-sided with the codependent person over-giving while the other person tends to feel more comfortable taking and receiving.

Certain codependent patterns like people pleasing and not setting boundaries are important to address. Stay until the end to learn how to stop being codependent in your relationships and recover from codependency. #codependent #codependency #codependencyexpert

Related Videos:

Time stamps
00:00 Introduction
00:27 What is codependency?
01:13 Examples of codependent relationships
02:33 Examples of putting others first
03:44 A sign of a codependent relationship
04:19 You look to other people for your happiness
05:03 Example of a healthy boundary
06:07 Codependent people confuse love with pain
06:43 In codependent relationships you expect too much

Here are a few ways to get extra support: 

✅ FREE journal prompts for improving self-care, boundaries and codependency.

✅ FREE 30 Minute Training on Better Boundaries

✅ Get my free Relationship Checklist to assess your relationships!

📒 The Self-trust journal and video

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Michelle is a psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management, specialist. She’s been featured in The Daily Positive, BossMom, Psych Central, The Good Men Project, and Your Tango just to name a few. Her relationship recovery helps people go from relationships that don’t serve them, to learning how to trust themselves and create mutually satisfying connections that work. Michelle loves creating online products and courses on relationship skills, codependency recovery, anger management, conflict resolution, self-esteem, and self-trust.

[anitawarren]

I grew up with alcoholic (but functioning) parents, and tho they were both very bonded to each other, there was a definite imbalance in their relationship. I never knew where I fit in sometimes. My dad had narcissistic tendencies, and my mom was very codependent. I grew up being gaslit by my dad and uncles constantly. Moving forward, i married a covert narcissist, became codependent myself, and later dated an alcoholic, as he felt familiar, after my divorce. After 6 years, and a LOT of recovery work, I can finally say that I am learning to trust my gut and look out for myself, tho it is lonlier that way, it's definitely more peaceful. Thank you for reminding me what I am trying to leave in my rear view mirror.

[mj]

I definitely can relate to this video. My recovery is a one day at a time program. It's been 9 years for me on this journey and I'm still unlearning and adjusting to what is...not what I wish was reality. Courage to Change the things I can - and give myself grace along the way. Thanks so much Michelle! Onto your next video.

[sonyalavett]

I want to thank you for sharing this valuable info! You are spot on about having a big heart and hoping that the love we share with others will pay off, and then so much disappointment when it doesn't garner the results we were hoping for. I also see how much of this dynamic is rooted in control. e.g. Expecting a certain outcome from what we give to others. I like how you reminded us that it's not about what others might do or how they choose to respond, but to instead re-focus our attention back on us. That is really all that we can hope to control in any given situation, and yet so very challenging. Thank you again for sharing this, Michelle Farris! And for courageously sharing your own wisdom in the healing process. I'm sharing you with many loved ones who will benefit from your knowledge.

[diannewelsh]

I've been recovering for a while, but still do these things.
Thanks for the reminder.

[sharonkeen]

I've been in therapy Since July.with a Psychologist and have gotten more out of this SINGLE video than the sessions with this doctor! You are amazing...everything you're saying is "ME TOO" "ME TOO"....I grew up in dyfunction with 2 alcoholic parents who constantly argued, physically and both parents "stayed" in the relationship which is what I LEARNED FROM, Sadly. Most of my male relationships my adult life has been nothing but me being co-dependent...I. had NO IDEA what codependency truly was until NOW. I have been in a 15 year relationship currently with a man who is a TRUE been the most difficult thing I've ever experienced and I now know I AM a codependent! I have no idea how to break this....get myself healthy....there are SO MANY complications I'm dealing with it's you do counseling 1:1 I would love that because, again, I've gotten more out of this single FIRST video that I have with my current Psychologist! You are amazing and I'm telling everyone about your YouTube channel~

[juliemcmillian]

Awesome video as usual Michelle!! I wish I'd seen this 22+ years ago but still, I like watching because just like our vehicles, we need a tune-up now and again! =)

[joghiwilliams]

me too, ditto. I have been working on my codependency for 20 years and listening to your video has helped me see some of the strides I have made, first knowing that I have made accomplishments in knowing some of my codependent thoughts and behaviors. I continue to find abusive and narcissistic relationships and now not trying to fix or change the other person. I like when you said know when to turn and walk away. I get afraid of that day though, will I really stand up for my needs and "walk away". Im afraid it is unfair because I say 'yes' to so much abuse my 'no' will come blind sided and that is not what I want. But what I want is understanding and that is not going to happen either. Im afraid my needs are going to be what ends the relationship. That is painful to accept.

[dianamjackson]

I love your videos Michelle!! You’re so clear and concise, and obviously speaking from personal experience and the heart. It’s so refreshing. Codependency is a revelation for me. I’m just astounded by how long a person can go on in life without realising that the way they relate to others is dysfunctional. It makes sense though given early conditioning. We need people like you to open our eyes, and I’m so grateful for what you do.

I love the idea of honouring oneself and building personal sovereignty. It’s not selfish, antisocial or atomising; actually we bring so much more to our relationships and societies when we arrive “whole”. In order to truly love another, we have to love ourselves. I’m so inspired by what you teach. It should be taught everywhere. Thank you!! 💐

[RuthElliottHilsdon]

Me TOO!
Working on this! Thanks, Michelle!

[godzillamanstreb]

Ditto ditto ditto🍁🍁…..healing tho….disconnected from all narcissistic relationships during covid & it’s truly a relief 🎃

[kristelwalton]

Excellent video. I've been working on my codependency and these examples help me explore myself and my mindsets even more. Thank you.

[sanzaiane]

mee too! Thanks so much, love to see and listen and do what you say! Thank you!

[iox]

Yes that's me... The problem is that I think my partner took me for granted since I was always giving and he did things I didn't like... So I've been wondering lately, is it my fault for being codependent in the first place and pushing him away?

[marylynncrosson]

Me too...I think I have an insecure attachment style and ADD and I long for a healthy relationship

[autocaravanasemportugal]

Gostava de ouvir como se lidar com uma pessoa codependente. Seja numa relação ou numa amizade. Seria muito bom, fazer um guia sobre este assunto. ❤😊