Codependency and Complex Trauma - Part 1/10

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Tim looks at how codependency results from Complex Trauma.

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[kylabreezy]

Once I realized I was codependent and learned what a boundary was, my family HATED it. They like passive, pushover me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm never going back to old me 😊

[wjzvvdy]

"So they're dying inside trying to give somebody else Life who doesn't want Life."
He just described my childhood.

[Mel-wqwu]

My therapist says that it is like setting yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm

[Jordè]

Needing a relationship to prove that you are lovable... Needing to solve everyone's problems to be valuable... *crys*

[sigmarecovery]

I’m in recovery from substance abuse. As a man, it’s tough to say out loud. “Yeah, I am a codependent”. Even though I learned it from my parents, I still feel shame and guilt about it. Blame myself, which isn’t fair. A symptom of codependency is an inability to love and respect yourself. One of the things I committed to in my own recovery was no dating, no sex, no relationships until I heal. Unhealthy relationships have been destructive to me even more so than the substance abuse.

[mattseremet]

Unfortunately I see myself as the narcissist in this situation … I can’t believe I didn’t realize how inappropriate my behavior was when I was dating my ex… I’m really glad I found this page and I owe my ex a long apology…

[Thehandleday]

This guy is the greatest therapist in the game. He is on topic with laser precision. Dense and no fluff. A genius.

[CreativeVoiceLine]

"Codependency is the dance of wounded souls." #deep

[anndavis]

First of all, i am a single woman of color who has learned the hard way, from lots of abandonment from family, and others throughout my young life. I can honestly admit that i now see and realize sadly so, that i havent had a true 'relationship', i only had 'situationships' w/toxic unhealthy ppl. I am now glad to live alone, being celibate & letting my heart, mind & soul heal from trauma. I am 62, independent & not willing to be traumatized by anyone toxic any more the rest of my life. I have many health problems and i need peace & my life is so much better by being alone. Codependency is not for me. Its a trap & a death sentence as far as im concerned. My spirituality is more important to me than being trapped & stuck like an animal in a cage w/someone who mistreats me every day of my life. Im a single woman of color who is proud of myself for loving my own company and i dont miss situationships

[peggytaylor]

I am so grateful for your studies. I am 83 years old and have lived with a narcissist
for 65 years. Finally I can let myself off the hook!!!! and better these last years of my miserable life. It feels really good. I so hope my estranged children can hear this message and get help for themselves. Our one son has made it through and is a wonder.

[mashajohns]

Wow, this is probably the best explanation for complex PTSD/codependency. Thank you for this.

[MusParvulus]

I've been coming to the realization that I have codependent tendencies, but this video shook me like nothing before. I'm ready to see and grieve that I was never allowed to be a person.

I also can't get over the fact there is a guy out there who is a Christian and talks eloquently about complex trauma.

That's a lot for one day.

[chadguru]

this is absolutely insane . like he said in the beginning, it will feel like our stories are being narrated and thats exactly how i felt. if i could print out this transcript, i could highlight every sentence and remember 10 examples for every highlight. my mind is blown and i feel awoken now in my late thirties

[Weeflowerofscotland]

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family with an alcoholic abusive narc father and a codependent mother . They were both so immersed in each other that my brother and I seemed to just be in the way. I’m so so thankful I found your videos. Finally at 48 I am healing and learning how to re parent myself and notice my own negative patterns that I have including co dependency . These videos are honestly valuable beyond words ❤

[janedeakin]

There are so many videos on this subject out there but your level of insight and ability to convey such complex material is incredible
Thank you so much

[indredu]

Good luck to everyone on their journey. It's painful, but worth every bit.

[happyazz]

I have been in this cycle for far too long (I’m 55 years old) It wasn’t until I finally reached “I can not be a door mat for others to wipe this crap on anymore !” and found information on codependency and manipulation I am now on the search for being a healthy woman living a better life for me ....

Thank you Tim for helping many many many . God bless you

Love and light

Namaste 🙏

[georgiakombakis]

“ They’re dying inside to give life to somebody else.”
And that’s how you become bitter and resentful.

[pt]

I didn't know I was co-dependent until very recent. I am addicted to how people respond to me and I hate it. I am a huge people pleaser and always looking for validation to see if we are ok and it is mentally exhausting. I am trying to pull back from people but it is painful as I feel like I will be replaced by someone better all of the time if I don't make an effort, or see them interact with other people.

[chirokathleen]

Sometime they’re on the spectrum and not a classic narcissist. It is as triggering or more in my opinion. Very crazy-making for us deeply caring types. All our needs go out the window trying to figure them out and make them happy.