5 Signs You're in a Codepedent Relationship

What is a co-dependent relationship you might ask? Codependency is a form of unhealthy relationship where one or both partners have an unhealthy attachment style. Codependency happens when one or both partners rely on one another too much for emotional or psychological support. Codependency can become really toxic when one partner relies on their own self-worth based on how the other partner treats them. It is important to know the signs of a co-dependent relationship so that you can navigate in a way that helps you best.

Writer: Cindy Nguyen
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: ChiquitaFoncy (new animator)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References

[Psychgo]

Have you watched our video on sign it's trauma bonding, not love?

[Noah-zezd]

1) No responsibility for personal feelings
2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense
3) Boundaries are blurred
4) Not thinking for oneself
5) Losing sense of self

[sunnys_not_here]

While I'm not in a relationship, personally, I watch these videos. I like to apply these to my friendships. These videos help me read my friendships better, and I cannot thank this channel enough!

[arlaxazure]

As a little add-on: Co-dependency can happen with *any* relationship; romantic, platonic, familial, work/business- all that have two or more parties. It's not exclusive. However these signs are still important to watch for regardless.

[Macgyrl]

I was in a co-dependent relationship during my first marriage. The loss of self happens slowly, until at some point you don’t recognize yourself at all, it took me 13 years to figure that out. I had 3 kids with him and sadly they were all mistreated then and now by him. I had my own issues going into that relationship but not as deeply as his. My wanting to be loved after being raised by not so loving parents really didn’t help. I learned to not get into relationships without firmly knowing who you are. I finally met a man who helped me grow and realize a perfect working and romantic relationship can be had. We’ve been together for 20 years and it’s been the best ride of my life.

[PsychToLight]

You feel like you need to save them from themselves. ...
You want to change who they are. ...
Taking time out for self-care makes you feel selfish. ...
It's difficult to explain how you're feeling about your relationship. ...
You feel anxious when you don't hear from them. ...
You have trouble being alone.

[riyayyy]

time stamps! :)
0:01 Intro
0:40 1. No responsibility or personal feelings
1:24 2. Unbalanced giving at personal expense
2:19 3. Boundaries are blurred
3:07 4. Not thinking for oneself
3:57 5. Losing sense of self
5:15 Credits
have a good day/night! 🧡

[Shortkonner]

I'm codependent. I also have a very healthy relationship. We support each other, validate and approve. Are excited for each other and share everything. He's generous, and my love language is giving. We need self care help, that is true, but, we seem to keep up at times. Boundaries are in place for privacy and respect, active listening. And we do say no, with an explanation. We think for ourselves and we share these thoughts and we learn new things from each other. I'm 8 years in. We are recovering addicts with different opinions and being respected for different opinions and this shit about not sacrifice and compromise instead. No need to bea martyr. Keep friends, check in, tell them what happened, things will be okay. Interdependence is a new idea for me. Resewrch.

[o.oswift]

My gf and I met last October during the school year and I remember when we first met I definitely had more of a sense of self worth and confidence. I was comfortable with myself and being alone and happy witho who I was. Highschool(sophomore) is definitely a breeding ground for insecurities and negative habits to form. What started out seemingly healthy and enjoyable as a friendship, which turned into a romantic relationship, into something that hurt me(codependency) I learned a lot. I think its time for me to start worrying a little more about myself and regain that connection I lost with my own self. Its my life and I need to live it, I cant let others enslave my life or dictate it with their own problems or opinions they might have.

[kamichaos]

This completely sums up my last relationship. There was a lot of patience on my end, and a lot of giving on my end. There was no time for me to have time for myself, and I found myself taking the blame for a lot of problems that we had. I was apparently in the wrong whenever I wanted to do something for myself. I had to constantly reassure them that I loved them completely and that there wasn't anyone else I was looking for. Honestly I wished things could've been different, and that's why I tried to take steps towards changing myself so that the relationship could be more stable and sturdy, but it seemed that only one of us were hell bent on making it work. It's sad that it ended with no words because there was never a bad and forth sense of communication, which is needed in a relationship, but what's done is done. I can only hope now that whatever changes are being made for the both of us, they work out in the end.

[fhmida]

I watch these videos to learn from my mistake of being unhealthily attached to someone. I had a codependent relationship (non-romantic way). It’s so bad because you really lose all your independence and in some cases, become very obsessive over one person and that relationship so you forget about everything/everyone else in your life. You constantly need reassurance from that person. Need of attention 24/7. You become incredibly jealous and possessive. Sometimes you can’t even stand to see that person happy without you. It’s so toxic and sad. In these types of relationships, it’s selfishness not love and you will never be happy because your needs are impossible to be met. I think it comes from a place of abandonment issues or things to do with your childhood maybe an unavailable parent. It’s best to get out of these relationships for your OWN good. I don’t really think it’s anyones fault. Both parties might genuinely care for each other but simply one is too attached so it’s imbalanced and it won’t work out. Just love yourself first, don’t let other people take control of your emotional needs, learn to understand yourself and then love someone else.

[GusThePianist]

Instead of accepting the boundaries of my own individuality, I feared that I would not have been accepted, and that I would have been viewed as incompatible, to which I cancelled a lot of the good things that made me me for the sake of not being what I feared.
The difference is subtle, but the intention of your being (avoiding bad or doing good) I've found is one of the most powerful dichotomies in my own psychology.
Love and be yourself, and don't let doubt run your life amuck. <3

[EagleM]

Not just romantic relationships either. Happens in friendships too. When someone ties their mental health to your constant presence. I feel trapped.

[khalilahd.]

Though I’m not currently in a relationship I love these videos because they truly help me be more self aware and treat my friends and loved ones better 💛

[aj-ojqo]

I'm not at present in a relationship the one I came out of taught me not to attach myself to anything or anyone because everything and everyone comes and goes and I don't lose myself.

[Only_kelpy]

My partner and I are actually in a codependent relationship, but so be fair it's only my second and we both have a lot of problems. We will work to make our relationship healthier in the future. ^^

[kat]

My first relationship was a pretty mess. A bit toxic abusive maybe, not sure, but I'm pretty sure it was co-depedent. Almost a year has passed since we cut contacts completely, just see each other when both want to be with the same friends, but never speak, only if it's something important, but only a few words come out. This to say, if anyone here is going through something similar, please know that it WILL get better. It won't ever go to how things were before, but, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You already lived without that person in your life before, you can do it once again. New people will come eventually, and even the old ones, I'm sure they'll be happier after seeing you're starting to be yourself again (believe me or not, it's noticeable when it starts getting too much, but most people don't know how to react, they don't even know what's happening since you're prone to distance yourself from everyone) It's hard, and sometimes it still is for me, but I'm definitly doing better than I was last year around this time, so don't lose hope :) Stay strong everyone <3

[neomoscoso]

Honestly, I feel there is nothing better than absolute independence. There is a reason why I have been single for years.

[DelroyMaster]

Although I was in a relationship with a good woman, the line between love and dependence dissapeared.

After a year, when I decided to break up, it was a very violent moment for both.

Take care of yourself, because it is a form of respect for you and your partner.

[chitchatplatform]

5 signs you are in a codependent relationship:
1) No responsibility for personal feelings
2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense
3) Boundaries are blurred.
4) Not thinking for oneself
5) Losing sense of self