Why are you Codependent and How to HEAL | Stephanie Lyn Coaching

#mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove

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Stephanie

[AuthorJanaeMarie]

Yes. Being a codependent hurts because you never really want to be alone because you equate it with some core shame that means you are not good enough.

[tdoublejr]

This is hitting me so hard right now. I have been co-dependent in all of my relationships. I tolerate things I shouldn’t until I can’t take it anymore. I have trouble saying No and I take the low road all the time. Basically I’ve allowed myself to be walked on to keep relationships. I have some deep personal work to do.

[ossen]

It's a very traumatic experience to be rejected by parents during the childhood.
Even though we might not remember it, the experience forms the character that build adult relationships in an anxious way.

[ElenaPagliara]

When you said that codependent people suppress their own thoughts and feelings and that either leads to randomly act out or suppress it forever and get depressed, with literally one sentence, you helped me understand the reason of my depression that I've been trying to find for years. Now I know where to start my healing, finally.
Thank you so much.

[AuthorJanaeMarie]

Wow. As I grew up I was always told that I was too sensitive and had low self-esteem. I was insecure. My mom didn't really like for me to express my feelings. If I felt upset about something I was told to simply get over it and let it go. I didn't feel like my feelings mattered. So I learned how to supress my emotions and get attention from other people.

[larryrubin]

Everyone is messed up and we all need therapy

[JacquelineGutierrez]

Your videos have been so helpful as my marriage is coming to an end and I am realizing how codependent I became over the last couple of years. Thank you! ❤

[MadisonDiaz]

I purposefully have been taking the time to be my own friend for the first time in years, and I'm about 3 months in and love the quiet ❤️. The acceptance thst comes from being okay when being alone is wonderful.

[runningwithscissors]

I’m in the deep anger stage right now. I’m cutting people off from left to right. I don’t know how to establish proper boundaries without coming off as an egotistical tyrant. All I know is I am so sick and tired of living the life I have been living. 29 years of complete and utter hell.

[JesusChrist-xkee]

The biggest problem with loving and caring more than everybody else, is that they end up using you like a doormat.

[sharonjones]

Raised by narcissistic mother, and father who was the enabler. He, listened to EVERYTHING she told him. When she was talking, she was lying 😩😭😭. I was the scapegoat so I had all the responsibilities of household…cleaning, cooking, laundry, care of sister 9 years younger…..I, was groomed to be the mother. She abdicated her role as mother. So, I carried the mommy mentality into adulthood. Probably never turn it off, but I’m learning that I need to not be an over giver…stand up for myself, establish boundaries. Thank you for your work. I’m learning, growing, thriving.

[lillianedwards]

Yesterday I was so happy. For the first time I enjoyed spending some time with myself. Stay hopeful everyone :)

[donalgramae]

I've messed up my relationship so badly because I'm like this and didn't even realize that's what it was, until now.

I hate myself for my incompetence. I've really messed up. And have probably now lost a relationship that means so much to me. I've probably lost her love and respect.

I deserve this. I should have made sure that I wasn't this messed up.

All I feel right now is despair. I'm so tired.

[leahspringer]

I loved the detailed explanation.
I realized last week this is how I have been operating in my entire life.
What a relief to put a name to my behavior. I started questioning why I was afraid to speak up and why I would go above and beyond to assist people. And I was told, I'm codependent.
I started looking up what that means. I know it sounds weird but I'm grateful to know this. Now change can begin.

[nc]

This is me to a T, in my childhood anger in my family was displayed as rage and sadness was suppressed. I didn't see anger or sadness in an acceptable form, those emotions scared me - so I suppressed them. I was the people-pleaser who walked on eggshells to maintain the family dynamic - I continued this into my relationships trying to keep everyone else happy and minimise my own emotions that weren't deemed as acceptable. I'm actually surprisingly proud of my strength in that I managed to neglect my emotional self for years without breaking. Even now I'm parenting myself and have found that my family can't hold space for me, my display of healthy anger, boundaries and sadness are met with the belief that I'm 'too much' and negative. It hurts to hear these things but I accept how I feel and that how I show up is my priority, it's scary doing the work with emotions that most people learn as children, but I'll get there and I accept where I am now. I no longer want to abandon and partaking in minimising how I feel, I'm learning to say no 😊🥹

Awareness of your insecurities is the first step.

[vixenvalenzuela]

I’ve grown so much in the last year doing my “work” and I thank you and a few other youtubers for helping me reframe the way I think and start standing up for myself in healthy ways, having standards, and standing firm in them. ☺️💜 I love you Steph!

[rachelmyers]

A very clear explanation. After a traumatic life event, I’m re-examining EVERYTHING. I can see a lot of myself in your explanation but when doing things for others, the thought of getting something out of it wasn’t a conscious motive. It was more about: ‘ I understand what it means to hurt and would like to ease the hurt of others if I can’ or Bring a smile to someone each time I think of them. But I’m just now realizing I gave far too much love to others and have felt unworthy of it myself.

[giannacharest]

Wow this all feels so extremely right. The feeling of being “needed” it’s so true that it just feels like you are trying to fill something in yourself.

[dutyforce]

Omg. That was me, the adult child! I went shopping for my mother @ 3 years old! She told me all her problems. She couldn't speak English language well, always with German words in her sentences. I constantly corrected her & taught her English. If I said anything about what I did or how I felt she had to relate a story about herself & it totally negated what I had to say. I had to always help with cooking & cleaning from a very early age so that I'd know what to do later she said. 4 years old was too young.
I often felt like I was the adult helping my mother & younger sister grow up.
I began your classic co dependant always in a narcissistic relationship.
I'm 62 now & finally trying to just keep myself happy & learning to sometimes say no when others want help.
Thank you for this video, I finally understand my past much better.
I guess it's never too late to change.

[lisandragutierrez]

I believe I become codependent when I'm in a relationship. I always put in more effort and have that need to know where I stand in the relationship at all times. Also, I noticed that after every month together I question where is the relationship going. I aware of this now and so I'm mindful of my emotions. I try to deal with these insecurities on my own. My mom and dad divorced when I was 8 yrs old and it was like my dad divorced me. I rarely heard from him afterward. He did not attend any of my big milestones like sweet 16, or any of my graduations. I forgave him for all and we have a relationship but I think I still carry that childhood trauma. We were very close when I was a child.