Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to Look For and How To Recover

Here we talk about what codependency is and I break down the 11 key symptoms to look for in ourselves, or in others.

Codependency is one of the most common reasons people struggle to have healthy relationships. It often starts while growing up in a household where one or both parents had an addiction, substance abuse, or mental health issue.

If you've even been too worried to speak up with your own wants, needs or preferences in a relationship because you think your partner will not like it and leave you, that's a really big red flag. Codependency is essentially about needing to be needed and not feeling like you can really express your needs in the relationship.

If you are someone who is codependent, don't worry, all is not lost! The first step to healing and making healthy changes is having insight and understanding, and then using that to take constructive action. In this video I also share with you 3 key things you can do to more toward codependency recovery.

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Come connect with me on Social:

[juliakristinamah]

Is this something that you or someone you know is struggling with?

[connordutton]

I can be codependent in a relationship, but when am not in one I feel perfectly well rounded. I start having strong feelings for someone then I start feeling myself losing my identity to some degree wanting to solve their problems etc. I hate how it makes me feel not my significant other I’ve learned it’s my own hang up.

[idahoplantguy]

If you are reading this,

You are good enough. You deserve to love yourself. Alone is okay. Alone should feel safe. The subconscious you that knows what is good for you, wants these things for you. So trust that voice. When you're alone and feel like you need the company of others to feel wanted and needed, remember that you already have that and it is within yourself. Instead of giving that company to people outside of you, give it to that voice instead. It wants your company as much as you want the company of others. Let us build that relationship first before building relationships with others. Good day or goodnight. ❤️

[NicholsonSam]

1. fix others problems for fear of abandonment.
2. fear of saying no. survival of relationship is up to you.
3. resentful for not being recognized for..
4. not being yourself to avoid conflict, to avoid more abandonment.
5. hard time trusting yourself, afraid to make a mistake.
6. fix their problems
7. may do anything to hold on to relationship even if its unsafe or destructive.
8. will to do anything to be needed by that person.
9. hard to identify your own feelings.
10. feel worth in relationship if you feel needed.
11. more of the same as above.
alot of these sounds the same and seem to stem from abandonment issues from childhood.

[noterleej]

Wow I thought I was helping but really I was hurting my soul..

[americablessgod]

Codependency is when you take over someone else's problems and responsibilities - solve AND do it for them. Being a hero, savior, rescuer, etc. The need to feel needed.

Or serving from a place of "lack" (out of fear or guilt, or obligation, like you owe them). Or to maintain an unhealthy/toxic relationship.

It makes you feel resentful, bitter, frustrated later. At the moment, overwhelmed, stressed, tired. Like you can't keep doing it. You feel you're being ripped off or getting taken advantage.

AND it causes you to neglect your OWN problems and responsibilities, your own thoughts, feelings and beliefs about things.

[marywilsonvocalist]

Avoiding conflict walking on eggshells.

[MrJgonzo]

I am 42 years old and today I have discovered by watching your video that codependency has been ruining my life and I had no idea. Needless to say your video has opened my eyes, I am in shock right now. This is life changing for me, I know what my issue is and now to work on making things better. I have struggled with this my whole life and didn't even know it. Thank you so much for educating me and giving me the answers I have been searching for. This is coming at the right time.

[raisanicold]

This last month was horrible to me, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and I really thought it was the end of the word. He gave me happiness every day but he makes me feel not enough as well. I was trying to be the perfect girl but he always has something negative to say about me. For him, I was a problem. Then, I start thinking about why we still together because at that point nothing has sense. I realized that I have been solving his problems constantly. Why on earth you would decide to break up with someone like me? Weeks later, the answer was clear... There was no more love in the relationship. Just a codependent couple with a beautiful past but not aware of their messy present. Now, I am trying to focus on my self and recovering from the deepest depression that I have ever had. It's just matters of time. I hope it will get better.

[rachellisette]

The big one for me was realising I'm always feeling like I'm being taken for granted or not thanked, or appreciated for all that I've given...perhaps I was giving with an unconscious expectation that I would be appreciated, or would be recognised...and it just never happened, I never got the payoff I didn't consciously know I wanted which was validation. All I got was abuse, pain, exhaustion and the loss of my self in the process. At least now I know 😌

[coryh]

I struggle with this. Not all of these things that you mention but a lot of them. Makes me feel like I don't know who I am and what I want.

[Kelvostrass]

I'm a recovering codependent son of a divorced covert-narcissistic mother and overt-narcissistic farther. I was used as a weapon between them and it stripped me of self identity for many years. Now I have removed them and my entire family from my life, slowly I becoming my own person. Refreshing to hear my problems told back to me; thank you and good luck to all fellow codependents on the road to recovery x

[unitynadabrahmannow]

Ending up in a string of relationships with messed up people because you think you can “help them” is a huge sign that you are codependent!! Always ending up in relationships with people who have mental/emotional issues or addictions, because you think you can “help them” seems, at first, to be such a selfless and beautiful thing to do - but deep down inside it’s because you think that these are the only type of people who will love you…people who are “even more screwed up than I am”, people who will NEED you, desperately depend on you. You deserve better, you deserve people who will lift YOU up! Realize your true self worth, you don’t have to be Superman/superwoman in order to be ENOUGH, in order to be LOVED! I found this truth through meditation, you can too! Namaste! 🧘🏼‍♀️☯️🕉❤️

[gingacat]

My god, I think I am codependent. I thought I was just being nice and it’s my personality but actually i am codependent. I really need to get help...

[Neohawk]

Just realised that i'm a codependent. I always thought i was just more thoughtful, considerate and caring but now everything makes sense. The worst part is that my gf is borderline so it feels like we are both walking on eggshells for different reasons and it's just overwhelming. I feel like i am losing my mind.

[dangriggs]

In 47 and after watching this video have just discovered that I am co-dependent. this actually makes me happy because I can now start my recovery. thank you

[Robbynie]

This just really made me cry I feel like I finally found the words to explain exactly what I feel most of the time.

[ellefonzarelli]

I always thought I had too much pride to ask anything of anyone or let anyone see weakness in me. I’d rather be the one giving than receive because I hate to feel needy. Now I’m starting to understand that I really deep down feel like loving me is a burden on others. That my needs are “needy”. That I want to be the giver because I need to feel worth something. I’m a mess.

[JenniferLKersten]

I'm pushing the love of my life away because I'm codependent. I'm scared, and sad and I loose myself in our relationship I miss him constantly and get depressed and have no motivation. It's such a vicious cycle.

[Fay_YaYa]

Holy crap, she is describing me. This has been my case since I've known myself. Growing up with a mom with mental illness, i lost myself always trying to please her and make her feel better. Then I took those bad habits with me when I got married and have been trying to please and help my husband figure his shit out. Always giving and giving but ashamed and too prideful to ask for things in return and set my boundaries. Always waiting for people to appreciate my help and validate me. I'm so sick of it. I will slowly stop caring so much and stop trying to fix everything for everyone. I will redirect my attention to myself and learn from scratch how to set my boundaries. And I will seek help because i need to be heard for once in my life. I will no longer be Bob the builder and the savior of mankind. I have needs, I have interests and my focus will be on them. I won't give unsolicited advice. I'll be there for people but I won't be the one to fix their problems. Enough is enough.