Codependency: how to overcome it forever: the root cause revealed

The root cause of codependency will be revealed so you can heal the root and liberate yourself from every other symptom too for once and for all.
This video is about how to recover from codependency, how to protect ourselves against narcissists, how to deal with manipulators, how to recover from a relationship with a narcissist, how to stop being emotionally abused, how to stop being physically abused, how to stop being dominated, how to stop being trapped in mind games, how to get over fear of abandonment, how to stop pleasing others, how to get over the fear of being left alone, how to stop being a peoples pleaser, how to stop being a victim without techniques.

I'll see you in the video's 💎🍀🙏🏼

[BrutalNewby]

Do you remember when we were little kids and we'd look at adults like they had everything undercontrol, that they knew everything about life. The irony is that we as children were living our lives at its fullest while the adults were lost in their minds

[GretaPolo]

Finally! A video that takes the blame away from the narcissist and shifts the responsibility back to us. Very needed video! Keep sharing!!!

[simonthompson]

I am co dependent and suffer from CPTSD as a result of profound neglect / childhood abuse. The message in this video is spot on regarding the cause and revealed substitutes and negative long term affect of running away from our pain. Pain, in its most emotional form is very hard to face, people will do anything and I mean anything (take recreational drugs, drink, gamble, work excessively, take steroids, cheat on their partners to feed their ego, lie, manipulate, play all sorts of games of denial) to evade and resist facing it. The affect is, to distracting and running away from pain, that it becomes the persons normal. This is how Narcissists and co-dependants are created, they are both running away from emotional trauma, but do it in 2 different ways. The Narc punishes others and uses them for supply, the co-dependent attempts to fix / love others to actually heal their own wounds, both are toxic patterns that just mask the original unresolved trauma. Co- dependants are easily manipulated because they have weak boundaries and low self esteem, these are the 2 areas any Co-dependant should focus on in recovery, the path to healing from the past trauma is long and hard, it takes a ruthless introspection few people are willing to invest. Looking at your own "Self Care" and making that a priority is very difficult for someone who has for all their best efforts in the past always believed "If I meet the right person I will be happy". Thinking a relationship will make you happy is the biggest illusion we can play on ourselves and this is not helped by decades of film, TV and songs regarding meeting "The one who will sweep me of my feet". Building a better relationship with your true "Self" is the first step in being capable of loving anyone in a healthy way, and that includes our children. Removing Toxic people from your circle and this includes family members, yes really, is the other essential step necessary in respecting your self and freeing up the energy you need to move on and froward. Hobby's, excise, healthy diet, sleep, and meditation and connection with people you trust are great things to focus on and maintain for good balance in your recovery from unresolved emotional trauma. These fundamentals lay a good foundation, and once these become the norm you ability to change your perception of your "Self" will start to be come easier, this stage is called re parenting and is necessary to re learn and accept new positive internal messages (usually the job of the super ego) and lay in new neural pathways that become beliefs. Only you can do this for your self, no one can do for / instead of you, it has to be your own journey.

[mindfullkarin]

i m an addiction counsellor and this is exactly how any suffering, emotional, mental or physical can be solved and balanced. This is one of the most useful videos for any kind of recovery, well done 👍🏼

[stepsofashaman...]

I love it when you heal and everybody else gets mad. It is jealousy directed at you for being free from fear and their control. Folks if people get mad for being yourself and healing from past wounds, they may not even know those problems exisisted. Keep healing and working through your own pain. The inner peace and joy do come.

[DayMillion]

The part (and my heart dropping into my stomach) when he said ignoring our purpose/ life blueprint and feeding into our distractions is what will cause deeper illness later has me SOOOO SHOOK!!!!

[jesslaughs]

I feel like this is correct, but it’s missing a huge component of the root issue. After going into deep meditation, I realized that a lot of my codependency stems from childhood wounds that are centered around survival. I learned as a child that the only way I could survive is to conform to what other people around me want in order to get my needs met and if that meant completely losing who I was and becoming a different person to suit my caregivers needs than that is what I did . When my need for love is finally met by a romantic partner. I then become malleable to the point where they can turn me into whoever they want because I’ll do anything to keep getting that need met. It’s some thing that I learned as a child to survive. It is literally a survival mechanism for me.
I also learned by watching my mom interact with my dad. They also have a codependent relationship. It’s not just a distraction. It’s a learned behavior. It’s a survival mechanism.

[veronicahaney]

My fear is that I'll never have a mutually fulfilling connection because others and myself are so wounded. And that I'll forever attract emotionally manipulative people. It's been a year of intense work on my own healing, and I'm still attracting either people who want to use me, or no one at all. No one wants to be alone forever.

[rockinout]

Good video. But honestly some people need to make large changes to stop being codependent. I did. I got rid of all of the narcissists and negative people in my life & was left with very few friends. It was in that time that I realized I was codependent & I worked on it. Was it scary as hell? Yes. But the best thing I've EVER done in my entire life. And you're right. We need to be able to cope with our true pain without masking it through drugs, alcohol, over-working, etc. And then we need to release these emotions through writing, counseling, sharing our story with others, finding a creative outlet, letting ourself feel our triggers instead of avoiding them or suppressing them.

[nickp]

You know...through all the bullshit and abuse my narcissist gave me, she did say things that were 100% true. She told me that nobody can fill that hole inside me except myself, and when I called her out on being an abuser she said “omg get over yourself, stop being a victim and take responsibility for how you feel. I can’t control your emotions, nor do I want to, you’re doing it to yourself, it’s your own fault”.

That ironic moment when something someone says can be both abusive and healthy at the same time....I hate that she was right lol

[RAHHicecream]

I’m codependent with relationships, alcohol, marijuana, my phone, youtubers, social media, my dog. Literally everything. I’m tired of it

[jjflash]

Everything he outlines is true.  However, he puts the Cart before the Horse.  He doesn't get at the root of the Co-Dependency - Fear of Abandonment.  Our caregivers abused us or neglected us so we were groomed to people please to receive the (unconditional) love and validation our Parents never gave us.  We go through our lives acting out that Life Script surrounding ourselves with Narcissists that mirror our Parents.  We get tied up and constantly triggered by these Toxic People and never can get out of the Cycle and cannot heal.   Walk away from these Toxic People and Situations and become the "bad guy", giving up the People Pleasing will put you on the Path to healing.

[sedie]

I didn't realize I was codependent until I was in a very good relationship with a great person and I still felt miserable and exhausted. I knew it was something I had to fix within me at that point (even though I didn't know what was going on or the term). I love this because it gets straight to the point.

[isaiahmckeown-philip]

I am coming out of a codependent relationship, myself being the "empath". I have been taking in (way too many) videos that have been demonizing people like my ex as narcissists. Even though it helped me answer questions I had and further understand our behaviors, I found myself still angry and wounded.

What I like about this video is that it places the blame squarely on the individual, no finger pointing (unlike the other videos I watched). What I noticed TOO, is that at any given point, this person here can be talking about either one of the two individuals in a codependent relationship - both people become manipulative, experience a need for distraction, and have the fear of abandonment. It confirms the fact that both people in a codependent relationship are equally responsible.

I come out of this slightly less resentful towards my ex. We're both pretty unhealthy. I can live a bit more freely now, and hopefully I follow through with the work I have cut out for me. Thank you for this excellent, level content

[respectedgentlewoman]

Wow! This really speaks to me!

Years ago, I left a relationship where I was being bullied emotionally and physically. I didn't have a supportive family and had no support from them at all. My family of origin was emotionally abusive, so I was set up for this.

I was relieved to be free of my abuser, but loneliness caught up with me and I ended up getting straight into another massively unhealthy relationship so I wouldn't be alone. Then another one. And another one. And so on. Wish I had realised what my REAL problem was. Then I could have used my time building myself and my life up instead of wasting more years on one unsuitable partner after another.

This video is amazing. I have spent years thinking I was just unlucky in attracting bad men and other women just had all the luck. Turns out the problem is within ME! What a profound revelation. I can DO something about this. I can DO something about myself!

Thank you so, so much!

[thereseward]

The day my friend said - why do you choose to live in fear? I was shocked by the truth. He was right. I decided I was going to admit my fear. I felt like I had been released from a prison I had locked myself in. The most amazing thing happened when I began to admit my short comings or struggles:people threw me a life line. When my foster son was dying my neighbors helped with my yard, meals childcare etc. What I learned was “people that need people are the most wonderful people in the world”. Embracing the pain and letting it come, grieving and letting it go. Through a counselor for trauma victims I was able to learn to love myself and accept my weaknesses and learn my strengths. My life has blossomed as a result.

[Ipdex]

I'm a 63yr old guy with a trail of messed up relationships. This video made me weep. I hate being Codependent, its like a life sentence of pain and giving only so I can get some type, any type, of love back. I've just come out of another messed up relationship where I knew I was getting manipulated, this time for money, but of course I went along with it because 'if I'm really accommodating & giving she'll realise what a nice guy I am and she'll love me back'. Utter, utter crap. 63 and I still refuse to accept that a lot of people are just out for what they can get and will do whatever (yes, whatever and really fake they're enjoying it too) necessary to achieve it. I often hate myself for being this way. I'm hopelessly lost and scared. Its no way to live.

[cristymakes]

My codependency stopped when I realized the resentment that builds up and is lashed out on the people closest to you looks identical to narcissism. Your face to the world is pleasing but if my husband challenged that mask I would become angry. I would deflect, cry, go into self-harm mode, hold onto fights and never resolve them. And it got worse when he really needed me and got sick or hurt. Having too much responsibility for him in these times would cripple me and on the outside it looked like I hated him for being weak and making me help. Because thats what I would think about myself if I was in the same position. There’s so much pain in every facet of your connections with people because that right there is the key. You think that people will leave you if they see the ugliness, but no. Thats your unforgiving thoughts against your own undesirable aspects. Thats you abandoning yourself for not being perfect. While you do this you will only ever half-love others. I realized how conditional my own love was toward my husband, and thusly myself.

[kzloyd]

Everything he said was like he was describing me. Fear of abandonment, wearing myself with distractions to keep from feeling so lonely, convincing myself that what I do is my identity and that the moment I stop doing, I cease to matter to anyone. And he's absolutely correct that the only was to break free of this habit it to admit that I'm not being true to my feelings. Here's the problem...he is speaking from the place of light at the end of the tunnel. For those of us still in the dark, it's hard to see how liberating life in the light can be. For those of you who have children, it's very much like tell your teenager that he/ she will look back at the advice you gave them and have admit that you were right. What teenager in the midst of his teenage years can possibly imagine life beyond his current reality? Just like what person, man or woman struggling with deep emotional dependency can imagine a life of independent happiness and fulfilment? Fear of being not good enough is a terrible companion, but for the one walking thru the long, dark tunnel...a terrible companion is better than being completely alone.

[thewayofthemasseuse]

Well I was feeling so down and I knew that there's something that is going on and I I asked God to help me and then I realized that it's literally codependency so I searched on it and found your video and it just blows my mind because it hits every single thing that's going on right on the head and not only did you pinpoint the exact problems with Precision but you offered up Perfection of solutions and I am so amazed that we have angels in this world like you help us and to guide us through all the pain that we've been through and that we're still trying to get through even though I'm literally crying while I say this I'm just so thankful that God blessed us with people like you to exist with us when we exist here because it's so hard sometimes it's just so hard to love yourself when you don't feel loved by others even though you know that there's people who love you there's always this Everlasting feeling of I'm not enough never enough and I'm just so overwhelmed with gratitude so much may God bless you and your family in so many ways.