When the narcissist tries to exploit you, and you stand up for yourself (AITA)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[TEJ]

The real pain in this narcissistic abuse is that... We need to fight the battle all alone... Even our closest blood relations abandon us...
My heart goes to all the survivors ❤️
Be strong.

[kristib]

I love how angry you get on someone else's behalf. We need more people and psychologists like you in the world. <3

[edjoshuatungul]

When you stand up for yourself, when you set a boundary by saying a simple "no", it really shows what kind of a person you're dealing with at the moment. When it happens especially in a romantic relationship, expect the discard soon.

[emarie]

I’m feeling very sorry for those two children who are surely getting the message that they are merely inconveniences to their mother.

[meganclark-hutchings]

I’m LOVING this AITA series. Hearing Dr. Ramani say the “F” word gave me a real primal feeling of justice and vindication, even though I wasn’t the author. I hope the author reaches all of her dreams and more!

[maxsmart]

Standing up for yourself won't stop them from doubling down, deflecting, or gaslighting, but it can protect you from being taken advantage of and internalizing the negativity.

[CP-peul]

I say this to the 19 year old college student, this situation is not going to get any better, it will probably get much worse. These people are showing you how little regard they have for you, your time and any boundaries you set. Finish college, move a safe distance away from them and establish new, healthy, non-toxic friendships and relationships.
There is no law that says that you must stick with the "tribe" into which you were born.

[LEM]

“Get the hell outta Dodge as soon as you possibly can” Best Advice Ever! Courtesy Dr. Ramani

[olderandwiser]

It absolutely blows me away how we can get so beat down and full of self-doubt that we actually think we are in the wrong for drawing a perfectly reasonable boundary with someone who thinks the entire world should just be at their beck and call. Thank you for using your platform to provide some real perspective.

[cymbolichuman]

It takes real guts to stand up for yourself. Saying "no" is the cause of
"narcissistic injury", which results in a tirade of "devaluing" or if you're lucky,
the "silent treatment". Oh yeah, they don't blame themselves for anything and
then I'm treated to the sad pitiful victim who never gets a break because....

[heatherlynn]

I love that she took them to daycare! 😂👍

[camoteez]

Dr Ramani saying “F” you!!! I’m living for it. I’m so happy to have her on the side of the victims of narcissistic abuse.

[ExoticalT]

They hate it, it drives a narcissist completely “bat-shit” when we stand up for ourselves.

[barryosullivan]

Alarm bells went off in my head watching this video! This is what living with my family of origin was like-being blamed for having boundaries and seen as collateral damage. I really empathised for this poor girl having her nieces and nephews dumped on her door step like that. It reminded me of how my siblings used to treat me when I was trapped living at home. I remember in the last 7 years of living at home I had a room adjacent to my house. It was the size of a prison cell and had no toilet. The toilet was in the house and at night the door was double locked so I had to go to the nearest bar if I needed to go to the loo. I remember having a playstation and saving up for it with my hard earned cash. Often my narc brother wud get a key to my room and take it without even asking and wudnt even give it back to me when he was finished with it. 'With family like wolves, who needs enemies...'

[realhealing]

Yes, I came from a family like this. It's a nightmare. Get out while you can. This toxic family system will never change. I wasted decades that I can't get back.

[Ted]

Thank you for posting this. I was drained just listening to this story. The self-entitlement of these Cluster B demons is disgusting and sickening.

[DianaLDiehl]

Something important should be added here. Even if Toxic Sister had some other place to go than a party, or Sister #1 did not have an exam, Sister #1 has the right to say "No, I am not going to be your babysitter today."

Maybe she just had enough or wasn't in a headspace to babysit. It doesn't matter. Her reasons do not have to be good enough for the Toxic Sister or the enabling parents. She has the right to set her own priorities and boundaries. This is one of the most important things each of us who has been a victim of narcissists needs to learn. We get to set our own priorities, and they don't have to measure up to anyone else's ideas of what is more important. The manipulators have the right to their opinions, but we still get to decide for ourselves what we will or won't do. And here is where the real strength and magic is: we owe no one an explanation. We do not have to justify.

[Walls]

I had absolutely the same problem. My mother was dying, was bed-bound, needing a nebuliser, changing her adult diaper, and I helped my sister take care of her. My other sister would leave her 6 and 4 year old kids there to go shopping with no notice or check-in, refused to help either physically or financially with any part of our mother's care, and caused a family schism after her death with her demands for our mother's jewellery. If you read about such a character in Dickens you would believe it was far-fetched, but I am unfortunately related to it.

[marylorenzo]

This happened to me when I was in my early twenties and in college. My mom will call me while I was in school to ask me what time I will be home because I needed to clean the bathroom or the house. No questions about my education and whenever she will ask about college she will be on her phone or just not interested at all. I am now 30 and still have to finish college. It’s very painful to know that your own family stunted your development. But now I know and now I am working towards healing and empowerment. Thank you Dr. Ramani 🙏🏼

[loreleihebdon]

Nailed it once again Doc. Every one walks on egg shells around my oldest sister. When I decided I could no longer pussyfoot around her I was the bad guy. Uninvited to all family functions, excluded from all group text messaging..singling me out to embarrassed or humiliate. I’ve done well for my self worked hard set my self up and she can not stand it… I’m at a loss. 😢