Tactics A Narcissist Uses To Break You

It's exasperating enough that narcissists feel justified in claiming superiority over you. But most will take it further by trying to break your spirit in the process. Dr. Les Carter describes why and how this happens, then offers encouragement toward the better responses.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[emmy]

The narcissist, smh. Nothing is their fault. EVER EVER EVER. They’ll wet the bed and blame the blanket.

[schizorap]

They hate people who are authentic the most because they are so disloyal and dishonest

[fdog]

They'll pressure you into giving them RESPECT, no matter how AWFUL they are to you!

[wisconsinfarmer]

They come close, but can't break you completely.
From the ashes you shall rise.

[texasrefugee]

It took me years to come to terms with the fact my closest family members enjoy hurting me and do anything to get some reactive abuse.

[tinagustafson]

It took me a marriage of 45 years to get away from him finally. The divorce was brutal, he was out to make me pay for leaving him. The divorce was final two years ago and I finally feel like I am waking up, loving living alone, feeling safe, making new friends, and experiencing actual joy. I am incredibly grateful I had the courage to leave and stay gone.

[JasonTDolan]

I've found the best way is to totally ignore them. Show them they mean nothing. And to get help.

[SuntoryPop]

Thier #1 tactic is to ‘butter you up’ only to shortly thereafter throw you into their frying pan. It’s a CONSTANT predictable cycle…like a broken record in slow motion. They want you trained like a dog…exhausted—begging for its masters approval and forgiveness.

[angellacanfora]

And when the narcissist who is out to break you is your own parent, magnify the pain of all these behaviors by a hundred.

[narcslayer]

They will continue to destroy you as long as you stay around. It is up to the target to go NO CONTACT. Narcissists are sadistic and will continue to abuse and toy with you as long as you allow it. It is up to the victim to remove themself from the abuse.

[bobtaylor]

These people are just evil. They may have had childhood trauma. Maybe their families were highly dysfunctional. Many people who aren't narcissistic also have such backgrounds, and not only don't go through life trying to destroy people, but do the opposite. Narcissists get no sympathy from me.

[douaa]

It's like being in a war specially if someone lives with a narcissist. It can be exhausting. Always being awake and alert and not letting your guard down with a narcissist. They will use whatever means to an end.
I am grateful for the education offered on the topic of narcissim and the strategies for surviving.
No one can break you without your consent. Self pereservation.

[sandrahesketh]

My own husband of 25 years is trying to break me and punish me. We are getting divorced and he is making everything as difficult as he possibly can. He is 74 years old and has the mind of a spoiled adolescent. He has always been very selfish and self-centered but a few months ago he really let the devil in. No more covert. Now I think back and realize how much he lied to me and how much he played me through the years. I am praying to move out soon and never see him again.

[hasansarhan]

Rolling eyes or the smirk after hurting you

[cpascal]

The funny thing about narcissists is that they will spend ages accusing their victims of all sorts of horrible things, but then object when the victim leaves and goes no contact.

[littleclay]

What I find so interesting about this topic is: Narcissisist ppl don't like you because of you being yourself, but they don't like the person you become after they have broken you either. Its like after they have won or achieved breaking you to get things the way they want them to be. The problem now becomes that they are not getting the feedback from you like it was in the beginning. Its a selfish and belittling relationship because after the soul snatching is done, the humilation begins. There's just no accepting you for honestly no respect.

[michelewuensch]

Passive aggressive attacks are so destructive because it's hard to understand what's happening until the damage is done.

[gypsyfaded]

Amen!
What's insane is their inability to recognize their behaviors.
Hang in there, Team Healthy!

[sandrathomas]

NPD parental alienation is the break that keeps on breaking.
When they're breaking your child, alienated from you, just to keep on breaking you.
I pray daily for every alienated child/ adult child and alienated parent. 🙏

[sage]

At some point when a person gives up their selfhood and just goes blank, obeying and reacting, that is a broken spirit. It's when a person is no longer sovereign in themselves.