7 Signs You’re Not Too Nice, It’s Your Trauma

Are you always trying to be overly nice to others? Do you put their needs first, even if it hurts you? This video will help you understand something called "trauma fawning." It's a common reaction to childhood trauma and can be a sign of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Trauma fawning means you excessively seek approval and affection from people who hurt you in the past.

If you struggle with people-pleasing, this video is for you. We'll talk about the signs of trauma fawning and how it relates to mental health, especially complex trauma and healing from it. We'll also touch on keywords like PTSD, CPTSD (complex PTSD), and codependency, giving you a better understanding of this aspect of trauma.

1). You don't feel "seen" 1:31
2). Your values become compromised 2:04
3). You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38
4). You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14
5). You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50
6). You over-apologize 4:21
7). You don't know how to say no 4:54

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Walker, P. (2018). Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving. Tantor Audio.
Priebe, H. (29 Sep 2022). "Are You 'Too Nice' Or Are You Fawning?" [Video] YouTube,

• Are You 'Too Nice' Or Are You Fawning?

[insertwordshere]

For me, its not about trying to be a people pleasure, but when im stressed i tend to isolate from my surroundings. Theres been countless times i droned off into my head because im dealing with overwhelming problems. Its not me trying to please people, but i stay occupied to myself to avoid any drama.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). You don't feel "seen" 1:31
2). Your values become compromised 2:04
3). You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38
4). You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14
5). You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50
6). You over-apologize 4:21
7). You don't know how to say no 4:54

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[artisticalex]

I’ve always felt like I was too nice. And all the things listed is 100 percent me. I remembered my senior year asking people if I was too nice because I was thinking about the way I was being towards other. But seeing these videos make me understand that it’s not the case at all.

[missb]

I really used to be like this, and carried deep down anger and resentment for others, but i kept smiling. I think i just wanted love and acceptance and i knew i had toxic people that would leave if i didnt comply. Sure enough, as i grew and started to say no, the circle thinned out and now i am "mean" because i speak up for myself. I know this earlier behavior started in childhood living with 2 narc parents and just trying to survive without being put down all the time. I am much better now, but my suggestion is good therapy, and starting the discovery of listening to your inner voice to find out who you are minus what you have heard and been told about yourself. And never ever fear being alone ❤.

[GiyuuLover]

This is definitely me for sure!

One day I asked a kid if he wanted to be friends with me and then I was like "Wait what if he finds it weird?" so then I said, "Sorry if i'm being weird by just randomly asking you to be my friend"

[Pluto]

your vids never fail to be eyecatching and then i end up watching ur whole channel

[jones]

I literally just finished the book CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving! I've very much identified with the fawning type.

[The-Idiot_Is-Bored]

This is WAY TOO relatable for me. Like they actually just deticated an entire video to making me realise all of my problems. I never knew what was wrong with me until now.

[reneeMajor]

Getting help in therapy is scary at first but it's worth it. I finally can say after 12 yrs I'm healed. ❤

[ZeeS]

I can literally relate to every single one of them
I started noticing such things about myself over past few years but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me
I was blaming myself for reacting in certain ways but couldn't help it
I called myself a coward for not being able to stand up for myself and literally beat myself up for it till I started having mental breakdowns
I just couldn't figure out whome to ask for help as I just didn't know what kind help I was looking for and what was actually wrong with me

[sarahwebb]

I relate to this video very much but I have never thought of it as a ptsd symptom. I hope that there is another video explaining what kinda of trauma might lead to this because that might help me and others find out why there are people pleasers and how to grow past the issue.

[lachlanparker]

I just shared the link to this video with a very close friend of mine who really needs this information in its entirety. And once I’ve finished typing this acknowledgment of my undying gratitude, I shall share it with my mother as well, since we both suffer from a lesser degree of of this very phenomenon.

[janetibarra]

Absolutely true!
I’m scared to be left alone!!😭😭😭😭😭

[MorgueInTheVoid]

I've noticed that whenever your videos speak on trauma, its always associated with childhood or in this video you showed a baby and said "early in life." I just think it's important to consider that trauma can happen at any age, and I could see how it would make someone who's been traumatized as an adult feel like their trauma isn't valid. Especially with CPTSD. If I remember correctly, this type of trauma happens over time. It's not just one traumatic event, it's your body not knowing when you're going to experience another difficult situation and over time it will cause you to shut down to try to avoid triggers altogether.

[hobbyracer]

Wow. When I saw the title of this Video I thought like, well maybe 1 or 2 signs could be me, but in the end I saw myself in EVERY sign mentioned

[saidrew]

Realizing that I'm fawning suddenly made me so mad. I don't have any trauma but I've always been like this and it's been getting worse over the years. I thought I was just handling things the right way

[Bloomyful]

This video feels like a gut punch as these signs were exactly how I was when I was younger. Now I just thug it out and call it a day to my problems.

[futri_]

This is so relatable for me. People always say im too nice but im really am not 😢

[bstroobery]

Gosh… I’ve been trying to work on this for some time now.
I actually lost friends when I finally quit fawning. It’s only looking back now that I realize one of the friends was someone who seemed out people who fawn in order to take advantage of them, because a mutual friend was also a fawner who was extremely conflict avoidant.
It just sucks that the moment I started sticking up for myself I became the villain for everyone they had a connection with.
But while it sucks, I’m glad to realize all of this now because it means I took some toxic people out of my life. I need to focus on me and my own healing from trauma. If those people I once called friends won’t support me because I’m the bad guy for sticking up for myself, then I never needed them.

Thank you guys for making these videos. They really help me a lot :)

[DeboraSampy-ebnx]

Yes I've been told that I try to be too nice and to be more careful..