7 Signs You're Becoming a Toxic Friend

We've talked a lot about the signs you may have a toxic friend, but have you ever wondered if you're the toxic one? Are you worried that you'll push them away by being a bad friend? We all make mistakes. And sometimes we may not realize that we are already hurting the people we love until it’s too late. So, to help you prevent this from happening, let's look at some of the signs you might be turning into a toxic friend.

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Lily Hu
Animator: Grace Cárdenas Cano
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Crick, N. R., & Nelson, D. A. (2002). Relational and emotion victimization within friendships: Nobody told me there’d be friends like these. Journal of adolescent psychology, 30(6), 599-607.

Crothers, L. M., Field, J. E., & Kolbert, J. B. (2005). Navigating power, control, and being nice: Aggression in adolescent girls’ friendships. Journal of Counseling & Development, 83(3), 349-354.

Masheter, C. (2007). A Study on The Dynamics of Healthy and unhealthy Friendship. Journal of Social Psychology, 463-475.

[Nico-qhmi]

Who else clicked this because they were paranoid that they are the toxic one?

[zoewilkinson]

YouTube: signs your becoming a toxic friend
Me: 👁👄👁

[Rose-isou]

The unsolicited advice part is so confusing for me. When people vent to me, I've always been so confused on whether to give advice or not. I used to have friends that would vent to me almost every day and I'd listen with open ears and assure them that I'd always be there to support them. But afterwards, they would sometimes get mad at me and say that that was "useless" or that "saying that doesn't actually make anything better". Then I started giving advice whenever people vented to me, but they would get mad at that if my advice wasn't always what they wanted to hear. Now I'm just unsure.

Edit: Thanks for all the responses and advice, I wasn’t expecting any but it’s all really helpful!

[ixeliema]

Reminder: you can have toxic behaviors without being a toxic friend. You being here shows a willingness to learn and grow. And the fact you're trying means a lot when compared to the millions who don't bother.

[cressida]

Can’t be a toxic friend if you don’t have friends.

[Jay_enby]

Me: actually being a good friend.
My friends: You're a really good friend to me.
My paranoid ass: Am I toxic?!

[mayorlewispurpleshorts]

I think I could very easily be a toxic friend if I didn’t try so hard not to be. I find I often have to stop myself from being too needy, controlling, giving advice they didn’t ask for, being critical, and talking about myself too much. I try very hard not to do those things though, and have to remember that sometimes it is best to just keep my mouth shut.

[spacecore_]

0:35 You are needy
0:58 You’re controlling
1:28 You’re inconsiderate
1:55 You give unsolicited advice
2:24 You act critical of them
2:47 You talk more about yourself than them(not true if you’re neurodivergent. It’s normal for neurodivergent people to do this.)
3:18 You’re not happy for their success

[edenidris]

You’re needy
You’re controlling
You’re inconsiderate
Giving unsolicited advice
You act critical of them
You talk too much about yourself
You’re not happy for their success

[adamshem]

The sad part is that probably the wrong friend is watching this

[reem_mazen]

One of the worst qualities I have is getting jealous easily. I always think that one day my friends will think I’m so boring and stop talking to me or just find better friends. I had two friends last year and one of them I’ve known for six years and the other friend was someone I just met that year. I didn’t really have any problems with them until they both found a common interest and it wasn’t really my thing. This gave me a lot of worries that they would get closer and I’d be left behind and I let my jealousy get the better of me sometimes and acted like a total drama queen. This made us get into a lot of arguments and just became me and one of my friends just kinda competing for the attention or smth. That lasted until I moved out of the country and I feel like this was partly my fault although we were all wrong in a way. Till now I have jealousy issues and I’m trying to work on just telling myself “it’s okay for them to joke with others it’s okay that they have other friends too” makes me feel so toxic and I feel like a terrible friend. Hopefully I will stop being such a needy person at some point idk if it’s toxic to get jealous about small things but I’m trying my best.
Not sure anyone will even read all of that tho

[inoscent]

*When people consider you a friend but it's hard to consider them a friend*

[Topcantstop]

advice: you can't be a toxic friend if you don't have friends.

[danidkg]

To everyone who clicked on this video: if you recognise one or more of these signs within you, it doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person. We’ve all made mistakes and no ones perfect. Recognising that you’re doing something wrong, even if you genuinely do love your friends, is the first step to getting better.

[kore]

In all honesty i was very toxic last year and it took all of my friends leaving for me to understand that. Since then i’ve been owning up to my sh*t and trying to better myself, I’m still not fully there yet so this video helped me a lot. Thank you

[mintymelt]

The worst part is that most people who watch this, even if it's true about them, they either won't realize they're like this or they're in denial.

[vlaire]

moral of the story: dont treat your friend like how you treat your sibling(s).

[PlanetPsych]

"I'd rather have an enemy who admits he hates me, than a friend who secretly put me down"

Have a great day

[arinicole]

I always try to remind myself to work on two things I have become aware I do.
1. I get clingy, but it’s usually in relationships not friendships
2. I need to balance my talking about myself and them talking about themselves

[princesshopetahura]

I just realized I do some of this to my boyfriend. I feel really bad, he's like the sweetest and kindest person I wasn't even aware of my own actions.