7 Signs You Have Abandonment Issues

Do you have an overwhelming fear of losing your loved ones? Do struggle with trust issues or have anxiety about being abandoned? Abandonment issues typically arise in childhood but can develop later on in life as well. The fear of abandonment is a serious type of anxiety that often stems from a traumatic experience. Some aren’t even aware of their own repressed emotional trauma, but it can manifest into unhealthy behaviors over time. Here are 7 signs that you may have abandonment issues.

#abandonment #issues #psych2go

Credits:
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Deng, Y., Wang, S., Leng, L., Chen, H., Yang, T., & Liu, X. (2019). Pleasing or withdrawing: Differences between dependent and self-critical depression in psychosocial functioning following rejection. Personality and Individual Differences, 140, 4-9.

Cha, J. E., Lee, J. Y., & Hwang, S. H. (2009). The mediating effect of shame and fear of abandonment on adolescents’ depression and aggression: Comparison of boy and girl students model. Journal of Youth Facility & Environment, 7(2), 3-15.

Thelen, M. H., Vander Wal, J. S., Thomas, A. M., & Harmon, R. (2000). Fear of intimacy among dating couples. Journal of Social Psychology, 24(2), 223-240.

Rodman, S. A. (2008). Mechanisms Underlying Difficulties in Intimate Relationships: The Roles of Fear of Positive Evaluation and Fear of Abandonment (Doctoral dissertation). University of Michigan Press.

Reder, P., & Duncan, S. (2001). Abusive relationships, care and control conflicts and insecure attachments. Child Abuse Review: Journal of the British Association for the Study and Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect, 10(6), 411-427.

[Psychgo]

What’s the biggest fear you have in terms of abandonment? Comment below⬇️⬇️

[ebusive]

Admit it, we're only here because we just wanted validation for what we already knew.

[thepityscene]

I’m always so scared to tell people when they upset me because it may upset them and they’ll leave me

[ello]

I always knew I had deep rooted abandonment issues originating from my childhood, so much that I had to do what I despised the most, which was abandoning my childhood best friend. Not because she did anything wrong or was at fault, but because I knew that my issues would’ve sabotaged our friendship one way or another. I tried to please her for years, changed my interests to align with hers, kept her to myself in fear that she’d leave me for someone else etc... I knew that my obsession with making her dependent on our friendship was unhealthy, even when she was too naive to see that. So I just left, which was one of the hardest but most relieving decisions ever. She deserved better and I knew that, maybe then I could finally cope with my childhood trauma in a healthy way

[-mrcy-]

I didn’t think number 1 counted for me until you said something like
“You try too hard in your relationships and you put others needs before yours”
Then it clicked.

[KimGhidorah]

I read this somewhere: "Abandonment trauma will lead you to sabotage your relationships as a way to affirm your fears."

[nickp]

As someone who has had abandonment issues my whole life (I’m 30), but who has made the steps to work on myself despite that, the best thing you can do is to learn to value your connection with yourself FOR yourself over valuing your connection with other people. You’re so afraid of people leaving because you value them being in your life over yourself. You need to change that. It doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness with other people, and it doesn’t mean you “don’t care”, we’re human, breakups are always gonna be hard. Just work on yourself and learn to love yourself so you won’t throw all of yourself into another person. It’s not easy, it’s hard work and takes a long time…not many people are willing to put in the work. But trust me, it will be worth it.

[kitkatboard]

I discovered I had abandonment issues when my sisters jokingly asked if them moving out when I was very young (because of a big age gap) made me afraid of abandonment and I uncontrolably started crying. That was pretty fun.

[kenny-nkdb]

im afraid to be vulnerable because i don’t want to be hurt anymore. i know there is good in this world but everyone i encounter makes me regret opening up to them.

[bipbeedippy]

1. You're constantly begging your Animal Crossing villagers to stay every time they try to move.

[Taurusboy]

The reason why we feel that way is because we were lead to believe that we will always get hurt from the repetition of pain and trauma in the same areas. When we loved naturally, it was abused and tortured. Now we are left fighting for our hearts to not be broken and by doing so, the results may not be as positive to others or to ourselves but it is because we are in an unfortunate situation. We want to love and be loved but the fear of doing so feels traumatic. If we did not continuously get abused in such a beautiful and sweet place at our core, we would have a better gauge on things. The bigger issue here goes outside of us. The issues are the people who are narcissistic and nonchalant which are more common and a higher percentage of people than those who actually cares.

[kristinesanta]

This is ALL of this is me. Especially the running part. I'd rather be alone than deal with the possibility of being left.

[wxstednxghts]

"You put everyones needs ahead of yours as long as it gets them to stay" * insert crying in the club meme here *

[marxon]

"... as long as it gets them to stay." For some reason, that part hit so hard. I don't really cry often, but that just made me cry, because no one ever stays. They all leave as fast as they came.

[sophiestevens]

It's nice to have someone take all the things I feel everyday, and make them into coherent sentences

[redbeard]

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with BPD. One of the check marks was if you had abandonment issues. At the time, I didn't believe I did at all. Now, after years of confusion as to why I felt certain ways or did certain action, it finally clicked. I actually have major abandonment issues. It's quite horrifying when all these situations you could never understand, just all of a sudden click and make sense.

[satirical]

I think being OVERLY attached to loved ones is also a telltale sign of abandonment issues.

Or even expecting too LITTLE of loved ones, and not criticizing them when they do something wrong.

[lalunaatmidnight]

i struggle with “my” friends having other friends. like it didn’t hit me that my friends can have other friends... i would struggle with jealousy in friendships and end up loosing them when i want to join in the things they are into. i guess i was always meant to be a loner.

[_kiryu_]

I feel this way…
My best friend came over to my house for the first time and meet my mom.
They got close and started hanging out
I didn’t see anything wrong with it but they jokingly said “I’m gonna steal your mom”

I felt weird but just laughed and said “Yeah right, you can try”
Because I knew that they would never replace me.
But they started calling my mom the same way I call her “Má”
And my mom wants them to come over even when I say I don’t want to invite them because I want time for myself .
My mom called them a nickname today at night that they only called me ..
It kinda daunt on me…when I felt the pain in my chest…
I played it off by laughing and joking with them but right after I got out the shower I started crying….
I didn’t want to feel jealous and be selfish..
Idk why I’m so hurt but the feeling of being replaced…
it was like I feeling of betrayal that I felt, I didn’t want my friend to come over at my house anymore and I wanted to make them think that my mom didn’t like them that much and make them stop calling my mom “Má”
….
Not even my brother calls her that and I don’t get jealous with him and my mom being together and bonding.
It was just my friend that made me feel that way…I know my mom wouldn’t replace me but it just my own insecurities…

The same friend also did the same when talking to my cousin…
I felt the same feeling but it hurts more when they do that with my mom.
They also…kind of make me feel guilty when I share my achievements with them because they didn’t do well and start thinking negative. They compare themselves to me, specially in one class…soccer..Idk why but when I accidentally ran 6 laps on try outs instead of 5 they said, “I’m gotta make sure I run 6 laps or more too” and I just looked at them and my other friend seemed to notice that they wanted to compete with me at everything…
It feels like they try to have and take things that I got…Idk if I’m being over dramatic..

[saramaddillen]

when abandonment issues get to you, you truly believe all everyone wants to leave you and feel some way towards you