7 Signs You’re Not A Bad Person, It’s Your Trauma

Do you constantly push people away, react sensitively to situations, or resort to bad habits like drinking, smoking, or reckless behaviors? They could be signs of unresolved trauma. Trauma occurs when negative past events leave people with emotional or physical scars. It is important to seek your own path of healing, but do you blame yourself for being a bad person for doing these things? If so, maybe it's time to stop self-victimizing and focus more on things that you can do to improve yourself as a person. You are not a bad person, and you are not your trauma.

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

American Psychological Association (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th Ed). Washington, DC; APA Publishing.
Bower, G. H., & Sivers, H. (1998). Cognitive impact of traumatic events. Development and psychopathology, 10(4), 625-653.
Amstadter, A. B., & Vernon, L. L. (2008). Emotional reactions during and after trauma: A comparison of trauma types. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 16(4), 391-408.
Hansen, D. E. (2010). Intimacy, loneliness, and social withdrawal as a result of emotional trauma. Journal of Behavioral Psychology, 19(22), 114-120.
Herman, J. L. (1998). Recovery from psychological trauma. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 52(S1), S98-S103.

[ajavier]

Remember, trauma never gives you the excuse to treat someone badly.

[lonewolfnergiganos]

My heart goes out to anyone who has unfortunately been a victim of trauma, I hope you will recover from it if you haven't already 💙☺️.

[rickiex]

If you're here, you're already one step closer to healing. Acknowledging you have trauma is the first step of healing.

[memeg]

I was bullied at school so many times that it left a huge scar on me took me long to open up to someone though, I am still stuggling I still try. So I could stop making myself miserable, thank you for the tips it is so helpful ❤

[undyla-chan]

While trauma is not an excuse to hurt others like many comments mention, let's remember that the fact that it isn't an excuse doesn't mean we should ostracize people who act out from being traumatized.

That will only worsen their trauma and behavior. The best thing one can do is to be understanding, as the person in front of you may genuinely have never spoken to anyone who took them seriously from an emotional standpoint. That doesn't mean you have to allow them to be toxic to you, but just to see them as a human.

[insertwordshere]

I feel like I'm a bad person lately. I shut people down more often. I have thoughts of harming people whenever they agitate me, and I know that isn't okay. When I talk to people, it's hard for me to have conversation. It always feels like people arent talking to me when theyre talking to me. I feel like eating the junk food to get a boost of dopamine everytime. I'm starting to identify these cues and try to get better. But the environment and trauma I went through has driven me into eternal madness. Hopefully I get better soon.

[Overlord_official.]

It's just like in the movies: not all villains are pure evil. Many are just broken and hungry for redemption.

[Monsterdrool]

I tend to be hyper optimistic to a fault because of my trauma, I see the good in people even when they dont want to change. A video on that would be cool too honestly. It's much more common to become nihilistic but staunch optimism is terrible too.

[_CrowDivine]

I always thought I was such a bad person for these traits and I always felt bad for it and tried to change but never knew how.. now I know what steps to take so I can tackle all these issues.

[yuhanmurros]

Going to uni, I was terrified at the idea that I might be a narcissist. Some things I did and reactions I had seemed so self centered, hurtful, and unforgivable. Then, because of people like you who spread knowledge about trauma, I learned that I had internalised everything my parents did in our childhood home, and what I was doing most was really self sabotaging.

10 years later and after alot of self-work, I still struggle with feeling like I'm not a good person. But I no longer abuse substances, I have some amazing friendships, and I work as an assistant psychologist to help others heal from their own traumas. It's a long journey, but healing can be a worthwhile path.

It's up to us survivors to spread the good word.

[emmaaaroseee]

Me seeing the thumbnail OMFG ITS SUNNY!!!! WHRES BASIL AT????

[bad_boypikachu]

I've experienced most of these signs...and I even noticed that I used to be nice, outgoing and talkative, but now I barely socialize anymore, and I hesitate to ask for help because of how I'd usually be treated when I ask for help.

[jaysom]

Every show/movie/book/story with healthy family systems makes me cry. I go through most stages of grief instantaneously bc I'm grieving my broken family. Most of my friends are used to it by now, but newer ones think I'm just an emotional person and then get confused when I don't know how to support them when they're emotional. And I'm a full grown adult. Healing is tough.

[snakeySnakeybakey]

This was me. I'm working on myself. I found a friend who came from the same place I did, and helped realize that I wasn't a horrible person, but a product of what was done to me. I am working on my hatred little by little. These videos are also a help. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

[isabeauwarren]

YOURE SUCH A GODDESS! I’m so happy I finally have a face to one of the most calming voices I’ve ever heard. I love all your videos. Thank you for all your hard work!!

[fixymuffin]

Yeah, but when my fears make me do bad things and sabotage my relationships it’s kinda hard not to blame myself

[aspen]

I’m genuinely crying while writing this. I knew most likely that how I behaved was due to trauma, and my therapist and parents have always tried to work with me to move past it. No one’s ever told me before that how I react is okay, and that’s it’s a natural part of healing. Thank you so much, you truly have no idea how much this means to me.

Edit:
Idk why so many people have assumed this, but no, I have not hurt anyone. The most I’ve ever done is isolate myself because I fear having a close relationship with someone. The amount of comments I’ve gotten accusing me of hurting others or saying other horrible things is a few too many to count. While I can understand where the assumption could come from, I do want to remind you that these sorts of comments can be extremely hurtful and triggering. Please just remember that everyone is human, and to treat each other kindly here.

[RendyRuban]

I relate to all 7. And yes, I distant myself from others because I don't want to cause harm on them. Still working on it to be better. I wish everyone here a successful life, and happiness.

[KeyoHaze]

I'm an abuse survivor, and I know that the complete opposite to some of these are completely true for me, and maybe for you too. Remember to always work on yourself, to improve yourself, but never blame yourself. Hou maybe having a bad day today, and feel alone. Remember, you ARE loved and you're a good person. May you have a blessed day and keep strong

[sinclair]

Why is no one talking about the Omori reference