Are They Emotionally Unavailable? DON'T CHASE, Do THIS!

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Have you fallen for someone who just can’t give you the same affection back?

Emotionally unavailable people are the relationship version of junk food. You know it’s bad . . . but your addiction keeps you going back for more.

This is nothing more than a formula for heartbreak. In today’s new video, I dive into the psychology behind why we’re attracted to emotionally unavailable people, and why just because something’s scarce (such as someone’s attention) doesn’t mean it’s valuable.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:02 – The Love Life Reset
1:02 – 1:39 – Emotionally Unavailable People
1:39 – 3:11 – Scarcity Doesn’t Equal Value (Diamonds vs. Air)
3:11 – 5:02 – Familiar Patterns and Trauma Bonds
5:02 – 6:10 – Confusing Anxiety With Love
6:10 – 7:44 – The Lens of Addiction
7:44 – 8:36 – The Dopamine Cycle
8:36 – 10:05 – A New Approach

[NinaR]

Understand these people are so ordinary and underwhelming when you take a step back and realize it’s you who makes them so special in your mind.

[krishna]

Chasing, begging, pleading, and hoping ain't gonna lead you anywhere. Disconnect from the person and focus on your purpose.

[tinachristine]

I no longer interrogate the other party when they start acting flaky, I now turn the lens onto myself and I ask 'what is going on with you right now that is making you create room and space in your head and in your heart, for this person?'
This makes it very easy to detach and to disconnect from an unhealthy dynamic.
I'm getting faster and faster in recognising this.

[kheicee]

i did this. i begged and pleaded to someone who was an avoidant and emotionally unavailable. he broke up with me because all i wanted was for us to have an open communication this time, i wanted us to fix whatever issues we had in the past, i wanted him to feel safe in opening up with me in regards to his emotions. but nah, he’d rather have it the easy way by breaking up with me than improve our relationship.
it even came to the point where i said i wont force him anymore, if he’s not comfortable in doing that then ill adjust to what he wants but he ended it.
43 days of no contact today. he’s not coming back. first few days was really hard but im getting better.

[mrvocal]

Yeah. Lesson learned. I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Definitely stuck in a cycle. Think the hardest part is always how they just move on as if the relationship never happened and I mourn for what feels like an eternity.

[gabilarobardier]

He dumped me last night. I was willing to stay and work through our problems. He just wanted the easy way out. I’ve always chased him. He wants me to chase him again. I blew up his phone last night when he ended it. Today I have not contacted him. Your videos helped me during my last break up, they will help med again. No contact and working on myself starts today. Wish me luck.

[tanishasharma]

I lose interest when I notice someone is becoming emotionally unavailable for me. Rn dealing with one such person. It's difficult to move on when ur already attached to them but I'm destined to move on now for my mental peace. ❤

[StephanAndreMusic]

I met a girl and we clicked rather quickly. We set a date for coffee. The night before, she cancelled on me; saying she picked up an overtime shift. I told her it was up to her to reschedule the date. A week went by where I realized I was initiating EVERY conversation. I called her out on that, and the fact that she never offered a day to reschedule the date; she responded with "Ok" and blocked me almost immediately after. There are also people who act like absolute children. I'm so tired of this BS.

[owlie]

I feel like we fall in love with those who care for us in a familiar way - which sadly sometimes leads to old pattern

[Jennu]

Sorry to tell you ladies but this doesn't get better with age. I just dealt with this with a 48-year old man, I'm 44. He claimed from the beginning even when I asked that he was indeed looking for a relationship. He tried to sleep with me on the 1st date, I said no that I need to get to know someone first and within days I got the excuses about how he's just not ready to rush into anything and needs to take a step back. 😂 Go right ahead take as many steps as you need....run Forest run!!!

[andriavinithalobo]

I still remember how I used to plead beg few guys to text or call me Every day. I was the one chasing them. After I started watching so many videos on these topics I have become mentally strong.
Learnt so many new things. ❤

Now I have made myself so Busy no one can play games with me.

Biggest lesson: Never be too much emotionally attached. You can move on very very easily💯💯

[erikabaj]

Since I've started online dating, I realised that even people who say they want a relationship, and they even show up for us in the beginning.. they can be emotionally unavailable at the same time. Or they become it after sex. How fun is dating these days 😒

[kellyhempshall]

I needed to see this today. I’ve been so sad after being “dumped” by a guy who was flaky, made me feel I was lucky to have his attention on the rare occasions he gave me it, who told me I pushed him away because I was insecure when I now realise it was his actions that made me feel that way.
This has really resonated with me and was a total “lightbulb” moment!!

[Yamilovesjesus]

He was the man who was extremely emotionally available and would call me and made me feel extremely special. One day it stopped and it was never the same. The good guy can do this too. It’s a rough world out there

[JustMe-kice]

Thank you for the confirmation. My guy played the long game, I ignored red flags 🚩…. I thought I was falling in love, it was a trauma bond. I discovered attachment styles, he’s avoidant, I’m anxious ….

He was manipulating me, I allowed it. I’ve calmed my mind. I’m not doing this very sick dynamic…

[iheartbellatutu]

Today is my partner’s birthday. Today’s the last day I’m gonna see him and give him a birthday he’d never had. I’m taking a break from him. We’re just going around circles all the time. He told me 2 weeks ago: “This is just who I am, if you’re not happy, I just can’t do anything about that”

[mikyl-forh]

You cant chage them.
They dont love you.
They dont even like you.
They like that you like them as it validates their existence.
They dont love or like themselves.
If you leave them they may wake up.
'We can only love as a courageous decision only after we experience a broken heart' (paraphrased quote of Jordan Peterson).

[dianaschramer]

I've found that the key to healthy relationships is emotional and chemical sobriety.

[deborahwalker]

A light bulb just went off. Thank you! Those trauma bonds....I'm slowly but surely learning to rescue myself.

[blueskiesatx]

The ultimate emotionally unavailable person is the married person. Just don’t do it.

The only upside is it may be the wake-up call you need to get clarity on why you are attracted to EU’s and do some inner work and healing.