Keep Attracting EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE People? WATCH THIS

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[hsgjkhagljkh]

I've spent years developing a distaste for emotionally unavailable men and friends. I've worked diligently on my self value and reframing childhood trauma (releasing the guilt and shame). Now my stomach actually turns when I discover I'm starting to invest in someone who isn't emotionally open and I RUN. It's not like they've let me in enough to hurt them.... I am my own Mama Bear. No one gets access to my heart unless they value healthy attachment and are skilled at emotional intelligence/connection. Because all of this indepth healing has made me relationship GOLD. My love is earned, not a free for all!!!

[waitin--a-m]

What an incredible quote, "when you're going through a breakup, you have to emphasise what you are gaining by not being with that person, and losing by being in a relationship with them"

[amandamariano]

My father was emotionally unavailable. I can remember 3 times during my childhood I got genuine, positive attention from him, (I'm 43 now), and I lived day to day wanting more and trying to get it from him.
ALL I DO NOW is chase and give extreme value to emotional unavailable men and survive off the scraps of attention I get from them. It's such an extreme roller-coaster of highs and pain... it only ends when they do something so shockingly hurtful I have no choice but to give up. Which happened about a month ago, which led to me finding Matt on here. I feel like all these videos were made for me! They are mind and heart blowing. I'm learning and growing 🥲
Thank you for dedicating so much time to this subject it means so so much to all of us.

[Kellys_kitten_squad]

Emotionally un-available is not just someone not wanting to commit. Also someone who is hurt or not able to be what you want because they have walls up and cant be open and vulnerable.

[sunbeam]

" People will do anything no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. " Carl Jung.

[leahbottone]

What the guy with the blonde hair and glasses said feels the most relevant to me. By choosing unavailable people, the sting of rejection is lessoned. We can easily say, "it's them, not me" without ever having to hold a mirror up to ourselves.

[beccafranklin]

Recently I’ve been developing the feeling that I would rather be alone. It’s so much easier and happier than having some else’s moods ruin things I want to do.

I’m too scared of a relationship now but I think I will never be afraid of being alone again.

[kristabland]

the ultimate mic drop came at 7:48, Audrey had explained that so well!! Then Matthew followed up with explaining the dynamic of always chasing that excitement and that rush, which is why we tend to chase after those unavailable to us, and believing their breadcrumbs of attention that we were able to obtain just eggs us on. Thank you for sharing this!!!

[venuspsychicmasseuse]

Emotionally unavailable people will committ even marry They are never Available emotionally but they do commit themselves to providing and showing they care just enough. They will breadcrumb you enuf you shrug and settle. Tell yourself they work hard to help support you, and then you settle for a relationship that is not nourished it is full of neglect and lonliness

[MaureenToews]

It is a very real thing to be in a committed relationship with an emotional unavailable person. They are with you but completely unable to a build an emotionally deep relationship. I am of an older generation & this a VERY real pattern.

[dcooper]

I label emotionally unavailable men as them not wanting to open up and be vulnerable. I’ve had men that want to be with me, but also with one foot out the door and not having the conversations.. kind of like a silent assumption.
In a sense, I think I’ve been emotionally unavailable as well.

[jannybanany]

That is a great point about how we see movies about overcoming obstacles and differences for love and how that shapes how we approach relationships and go after wmotionally unavailable people!

[museti-zdee]

Definitely feer. And that's something you carry from your childhood. Feer of abandonment. We gravitated towards unavailable people.

[jannybanany]

My current situation absolutely....so hard to let go. Such a frustrating situation.

[Nora-yvop]

That is so true thank you, it's like if you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you it's basically romanticising someone who's not involved

[markmartin]

We try to recreate the environment we grew up in even when we know it was toxic. We’re drawn beyond our control. It’s Eros, the will to procreate. Take a line from Shakespeare “Get thee to a nunnery!” We may just have to learn to live alone.

[Sisters.]

I love Audrey’s insights. Thank you for being the feminine beacon light on this channel. I feel understood. ❤

[Renske]

I want to add something. It can also be that your attachment style makes you inherently believe that you are not worth loving so you can’t recieve the love that they are giving. Being so scared that the natural moments of lesser connection are your fault, and then communicating boundaries is hard because of a big fear of rejection. It can then feel like your partner is emotionally unavailable, however maybe it is actually a sign that you are (or you both are). Doubt in a relationship is also a way to protect yourself from the pain of letting someone too close just to be rejected. Doubt does not automatically mean that they are not good for you. I think the effort and willingness to work on things together says a lot about the compatibility as well

[swiftkarma]

The title says attract. We attract all types. It's who we keep around that matters

[nasyabugg]

Thank you so much for your advice. I'm young and not really looking for anyone right now but i love the idea of being prepared before i'm in the situation. "Why go into war learning how to use a gun?" Is something i always say, so I love the advice you give because it applies in other life relationships too!

Thank you!