How To Love An Avoidant Man (PART 1)

Are you in love with an avoidant man? In this educational video, Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, shares crucial insights and proven methods to navigate and sustain a relationship with an avoidant partner. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls that might drive him away and discover effective strategies to foster a deeper connection. Don't miss part one of this two-part series — your guide to understanding and loving an avoidant man.

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You might also enjoy watching another one of my videos called: Insecure Attachment Is DESTROYING Your Relationships

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Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:16 Why Avoidant Men Leave
02:22 The Fear of Trust and Intimacy
04:34 How to Nurture an Avoidant Man
05:49 Addiction to Validation
07:39 Creating Space for Open Communication
09:32 Encouraging Him to Share Needs
10:45 The Importance of Clear and Open Communication
11:43 Strategies to Feed Dopamine and Emotional Bonds
13:01 Setting the Bar for Healthy Relationships
14:33 Conclusion: Building an Incredible Relationship

Key Topics:
Avoidant Mindset and Perspective
Understanding Childhood Roots of Avoidant Attachment
The Scared Cat Analogy: Nurturing Avoidant Partners
Communication Strategies for Anxiously Attached Individuals
Feeding Dopamine and Emotional Bonds

#avoidantattachment #attachmentstyles #relationshipinsights #emotionalintimacy #adamlanesmith #relationshipadvice

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

[MM-pbik]

This is the BEST advice people. I am with a Dismissive Avoidant. I was anxiously attached when I met him and I realized that I was about to lose him and immediately took action. I became secure and I did what is being advised here. We are so deeply madly in love and he is devoted to me. Once you get it right with a DA, it’s the deepest most incredible love you’ll ever experience because it’s been buried for so long that. It’s magic.

[PookiieDhaFam]

My man was an avoidant. But my secure attachment style has now made him very secure and obsessed with me. Do not smoother them, try to understand them AND give them RESPECT, when they want to focus on work you need to focus on you! Be secure with yourself and also build the friendship.

[nohillforahighstepper]

You NAILED what life is like for avoidant men.
The only way to feel safe is to push everyone away. I have deep connections with my dogs and horses. Human interactions stress the hell out of me.
My mind tells me that humans are generally much safer than animals, my heart knows the truth.
The 1 thing that keeps me from becoming a hermit is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I can wholly trust in God. He has never hurt me.

[kimberlykachel]

I was married to an avoidant for 23 yrs. Problem was I gave him his space, I let him live his life the way he wanted but I ended up suffering because all I wanted was to be acknowledged. He would leave me alone 90% of the time while he spent time with his friends. I never asked out of him more than he wanted to give but again I was the one who was suffering. He never talked to me or shared with me his feelings. He avoided telling me how he felt. We were married but I was left alone. Then he decided to want a divorce. Which is fine, I'm not missing much. How can you miss what you didn't have to begin with.

[ShinySilverBunny]

😂😂😂 how to love an avoidant man.... avoid him at all costs. Why is it ALWAYS put on women as if it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to bear the burden of trying to care and love people who don't love back? If he is so easily scares, I don't want him. I want someone as courageous as me. Women are not therapists, men need to seek therapy and deal with these issues on their own.

[Zara]

This is the best avoidant video out there! Thank you so much. It’s been 3yrs with my bf and you are so right, it’s like they are scared cats. I give space, and love and show him in still here even when he pulls away. It genuinely works. After we get close or hit a milestone, I can see the change in him… but I remain consistent and patient and he comes around.

[a.d.b]

I don't know what his core issues are, just that I feel like I'm not prioritized, taken for granted, feeling are dismissed and that I don't matter. I've told him time and again how I feel and how I'd like him to show up, he just says he loves me but nothing changes. I don't hover, blow up his phone, raise my voice, etc. I left today and told him why. Getting tired of the same sing, different day.

[themuse]

I have a secure attachment style. I dated an avoidant (who I loved very much) but it was too much work, and in the end, I had to heal from 3 years of self-abandonment (it'll sneak up on the most secure people - always making concessions, missing out on things you wanted to do with this person, always taking a back seat to his need for lots of space). I didn't have anything close to a partnership or mutuality, I had just adapted to the cat-like, breadcrumbing behavior. Don't do it ladies.

[alisonjohnson]

Been married to an avoidant man for 25 years. He left me with 3 children 15 years ago, on and off. He goes silent for lengthy periods and doesn't say why. I'm at a stage where as much as I care about him, I now care about myself more and don't want to waste anymore energy trying to make him 'feel safe.'

[noirettebeauty]

Not worth it. They make terrible fathers, and come from terrible fathers. There’s literally 6B people out there. Life is too short to settle for low-quality relationships with a man who chooses not to do his own work

[MiSzCASSiEx]

Our couples therapy actually used the same analogy, that I am the dog in the relationship and he’s the cat in the relationship. I ended up leaving because I realize I deserve to be with another dog or someone that has the capacity to love me the way I need to be loved, and can reciprocate better.

[suzannemahoney]

Holy moly.
I am all about love. Care . Giving. Open heart etc etc.
Yes i want him to feel relaxed and happy and filled with endless understanding..
All the space he ever wants forever..
But hold your horse a second..
Zero love understanding attention support etc etc for the all giving partner.
Hilarious…..
Are we robots .?
Empty vessels that have no emotional needs.?
😂😂😂 nope.!!
Relationships are a two person responsibility..
constant care givers eventually burn out and die exhausted.

[alyssaandkkplay]

You have explained it better than anyone else! A scared cat is a visual representation of what an avoidant person is.

[Minarhenaye]

I’m going through this. I asked for Therapy because I’m triggered with his stonewalling and him disrespecting my boundaries. He said no to therapy and said he doesn’t want to work on relationship. When I asked if he wanted to separate he said he can work on it but not now. Feels unfair to have to reach out and do the relationship on my own when I give him what he wants but my needs are neglected.

[dianas]

Just had this epiphany: we must really grow up, mature. Understand it is NOT about us ladies! It's about being a strong, mature human who wants to be a lifelong partner.

[ALTREDBAST]

I'm avoidant. Just recently learned this. It sucks. Im alone. I had an anxious girlfriend, and it didn't work out.... But, I'm watching videos, reading and learning. No dating right now. People are really cruel and not understanding.

[kristinahaugen]

Thank you! You’re amazing! I embrace him, calm him and feed him. And I give him space and support! I love him and want him to stay safe and loving with me. Your words are Godgiven. You’ve supported me and my loved one! 🙏

[the_fclife]

Avoidant explanation content gives me hope for humanity, because maybe it's a sign that people are becoming more curious, understanding, and loving with each other. But then the comments sections always body slam that hope and hit it with a chair 😬

[chrisharris]

As a fearful avoidant, i am most scared of someone being unfaithful, cheating on me. I'd rather them grab me and love me. I won't claw my way out