Dating An Avoidant Person? Here's 4 Ways To THRIVE With Them

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[a-pqxj]

The reality is that avoidants are not suited for relationships. A quote from a doctor perfectly captures the avoidant mindset: "I will be in a relationship with you as long as you don't have any expectations of me." This sums up the core issue—avoidants struggle to meet the basic expectations that make a relationship work.

[shadowjfd]

“Treat the avoidant like a king/queen and let them do whatever to you” is what I got from this video

[costaspaximadas]

There is NO way you can have a normal relationship with an avoidant. Either they acknowledge their attachment disorder and seek help through therapy, or you settle for it, stop having any expectations and treat them as "friendly" stray cats. They come as they please, for their own (selfish usually) reasons, and they go as they please. You "enjoy" their company while they are there, petting them for as much as they let you, and that's it. Then they go their way, and you, yours, until the next time they visit. You won't have any expectations of consistency from a stray cat, would you? As much love and care you extend to it. It will go its way, no remorse, no second thoughts about it. And it'll scratch you with no obvious reason, probably right after you fed it. *That's* an avoidant partner for you.

[robertdeskoski]

Unless they're in therapy and working on what is most likely C-PTSD, none of this matters.

[veral]

It's absolutely exhausting. It leads you to emotional and physical burnout. And this is coming from a secure leaning on anxious. Which might explain how I've been in this rollercoaster for 2 years. A full blown anxious preoccupied wouldn't have lasted 2 months.

[karinanikoghos]

How absolutely incredibly psychologically resilient one must be to have an avoidant partner!!! Damn it lol. Don't touch them, don't talk to them, pretend you are dead, don't breathe, give them a choice to decide if they want you to be alive 😂😂 And yet, I am still with one lol
Jokes aside, nice video ❤

[migueld]

Sounds like the only way to have a relationship with an avoidant is to have zero boundaries

[tristanperera]

‘You can’t get blood from a stone’ is the thing to remember here. Their absolute worst fear is your sincere love and affection so STOP TRYING and have some self respect.

[Barbara-zopq]

I give opportunities for closeness but get turned down. Creates insecurities in me.

[jenniferparisi]

They have all these needs and our needs don't matter

[Growwithgrace]

So basically be very careful and monitor yourself constantly or they will run! That's not a relationship it's exhausting. They get to 'be' how they want and you have to keep things together. That is enabling their behaviour. Your needs must be voiced and if an avoidant doesn't make changes too you are likely doomed.

[OneManCollaboration]

Here’s the REALITY. Just LEAVE. If you have any self love and respect, let this person go and focus back on your own life. These people will drain you, abuse you, and discard you like worthless trash when just the day before you were the love of their life and their entire world. Get off the anxiety inducing and insanity creating tightrope and save yourself. I know it sucks. I know you love them very much. But trust me. SAVE YOURSELF

[DonBrowsing]

From experience, if you are single amd dating and come across this type, run. If you are in a relationship with this person, then apply what's in this video, but that person needs to be aware of their issue. Avoiding is not a characteristic, its a fault.

[Ikaros]

The best move is to go « no contact» with avoidants. They can’t connect with others, because of their mental dissorder. But they still crave attention/validation.

1: We can’t fix their anxiety
2: Their anxiety and mental dissorder is not our responsibility

Just let them go

[Neya]

If you think about it, avoidants actually gives other attachment styles the opportunity to examine your shortcomings and to heal from it. If he's worth it, meaning kind and considerate and a good person, and worth the time and the energy, its well worth dating them.

[umalam]

-"Do u wanna go on a date? Do u wanna sit here? Are u open to talk about this?"
Are u actually serious? So the relationship depends entirely on the anxious person? Why be in a relationship in the first place?

[zkhan]

1. Do NOT Chase
2. Try To Reduce the amount of criticism you bring to the relationship
3. Stop making demands or using ultimatums
4. Try not personalize what is happening

[AM]

Make yourself a doormat? Turn yourself into a nervous wreck? It is not worth it. Date healthy.

[janjacksonauthor]

How about just being in a relationship with a secure individual. So it can be a healthy relationship. That's the goal from day one.

[biancae]

If you go into a relationship with a person like this and no awareness… it can be a rough start 😢.