How To Love An Avoidant Man (PART 2)

Discover the proven methods to deepen your connection with an avoidant man in this second part of the series. As a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience, I'm here to share insights on building love, understanding avoidant behavior, and creating lasting bonds. Learn how to make yourself irresistible and provide the authentic love that an avoidant man secretly desires.

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

Transform Your Love Life With THIS One Thing - Adam Lane Smith

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Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:13 Understanding Attachment Theory
02:28 Easing the Pressure
03:56 Clarifying Expectations
06:14 Nurturing Their Need for Space
07:42 Building Lives Outside the Relationship
09:16 Encouraging Open Communication
10:55 Modeling Emotional Sharing
12:57 Healing Avoidant Attachment
15:27 Conclusion

Key Topics:
Authentic love for avoidant men
Attachment theory insights
Strategies to reduce pressure in relationships
Building a life outside the relationship
Effective communication with avoidant partners
Providing comfort and reducing anxiety
The healing process of avoidant attachment

#attachmenttheory #relationshipadvice #emotionalconnection #secureattachment #relationshiphealing #adamlanesmith

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

[kenwyattID]

Hell yes. Avoidants are not bad people. We just need time to ensure that people are in our lives for the right reasons.

[ozzym]

As an avoidant i can confirm this is my preferred method of receiving love

[peachwedding]

If you want to love an avoidant man as anxious attacher or even someone secure, you have to have endless empathy, understanding and patience. Expecting to be loved the way you desire by an avoidant is an exercise in futility. Spare yourself the heartache and try to find someone secure.

[marquintawalker]

As a formerly avoidant woman in love with an avoidant man I approve this message.

[marialazaridou]

Thank you so much.I ve been with an avoidant for 2.5 years and I see him changing step by step.I love him so much.And I found that being with him (after being married and divorced to a narcissist..) was healing for me as I learned to have a life outside of him...and I worked my co dependent way of relationship.Sometimes I feel very confused for how I should treat him but you really helped me to see that i do right...

[angelam.e.richardson]

I love your warmth of compassion as you speak about avoidants. This resonates so much with how I feel.

[ralucamera]

Most therapists won’t recommend being in a relationship with an avoidant! But thank you for this information. ❤

[patticakes]

I’ve done this instinctively with one and it worked - it’s not just useful in romantic attachment- it works in others as well - my step daughter for example. It takes patience and time. I describe it as sitting very very still and letting a wild animal feel safe to approach. Giving without expectation is essential. It requires good self care and not giving more than appropriate. But offering love and care without expectation and demands takes pressure away and creates safety. Even more important is consistency and predictability. Don’t give something one day and take it away the next. Just be there and be predictable. Go about your own life while leaving the door open for them to join should they choose. It works but it’s not something accomplished quickly. Expect it to take years, not months.

[Badmomsclub]

I have an avoidant love and he has taught me so much about how anxious I was, I’ve studied and learned more about myself and how to approach him with respect and understanding of what we both need and deserve!❤❤❤ attachment theory is a godsend

[kaitlin]

I asked my DA how much time he wanted. He said once a week. I followed up later seeing if he wanted more or less time. It turns out he only wanted once a month. So I bought a ton of video games and signed up for classes. 6 months later, no change. I couldn't keep on seeing someone only 2 hours a month or less when I was starting to get other offers. It didn't work for me.

[sirenachantal]

This works for women too. I never thought I could be loved this way and have been crying for the past few days. I expect anger, punishment, and to be left behind. He consistently and lovingly shows up. It blows me away. He will always have a huge place in my heart.

[raisingprincesses]

“Run off into the woods and escape you.” 🤣 my boyfriend is literally hiking through backcountry, this weekend with no cell service to get some space. But he doesn’t think he’s avoidant.

[verbze]

I think Adam should do a vid on how avoidants should respond to this and show they are receiving their partners' effort and reciprocating. This otherwise becomes a one way relationship, with the secure person continuously chasing, and they'll eventually tap out, leaving the avoidant to believe it was too good to be true anyways. But honestly, 99.99% of these issues are solved of partners just learn how to check-in with each other, and calibrate little by little. Trust in the intention of the other, and believe they trust in your intentions, then the rest is simply calibrating. Sometimes we make things a bit more complicated than they need to be.

[TheReagDawg]

It seems like at times you can’t do this without denying your own needs

[DF-]

The best way to love an avoidant man is to love yourself first and then wonder:”Do I want to be with someone who will never understand my emotional needs for the rest of my life? And if yes, how long time can it last?”

[Radharani-jlvk]

Being married to avoidant thought me how to become secure attached but it was painful. Not rushing into breaking a relationship but firm that he has to make an endeavour to grow up. Everyone has traumas and everyone has to work on them themselves. I can give support but he has to do it himself. If one is not aware of his condition, hmmm it may be just a waste of time.

[ChinaSu-ik]

This is exactly what I need! I am madly in love with my avoidant! I do some of these things but you helped me to see a blind spot. Thank you so very much

[petyavelikova]

Well, I was clear about my expectations, no marriage at 45 y.o., not living together, visiting each other and going on holidays etc, and as was important for me all I insisted on was daily text or call for a few minutes usually in the evening...and for 9 years it was push, pull, ignored for months like 6 months at a time, I dont even fathom how one even has the audacity to contact someone after 6 months not even knowing if the other person is even still alive. While in these 9 years not only I wents through 4 surgical procedures, 2 covids and the death of my mother and not only he was not anywhere to be seen but when finally crawls from whenever all I hear is we are not suppose to burden each other with our problems. In the end I just was so tired I got out. No contact, didnt even bother blocking him, he was that dead to me. My love just disappered suddenly like a rain that just stopped and to this very day 3 years later is sending me messages and calls like insane. And I feel like nothing, just a nuissance from some past life. Even I cannot recognise myself.

[astudent]

Basically, loving an insecure man will need you to be extra secure and understanding.