How to Love an Avoidant Partner

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now.

Are you in love with an avoidant partner and struggling to help them feel the depth of your love? Do you fear that your affection might be pushing them away? You're not alone, and there is hope! In this video, I, Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist, will reveal the secrets of avoidant partners and what they truly need from you—even if they don’t realize it themselves.

Over the past 10 years, I’ve helped thousands of avoidant individuals and their partners navigate the complexities of their relationships. Today, I’m sharing what avoidant people have secretly told me they crave, but would never ask for. I'll teach you how to love your avoidant partner in the best possible way, ensuring they feel safe, understood, and deeply connected to you.

What You’ll Learn in This Video:

Understanding Avoidant Attachment: Explore how avoidant attachment develops and the brain's survival adaptations that drive it.

Chemical Insights: Learn about the six key brain chemicals that affect avoidant individuals and their ability to bond.

Effective Communication: Discover how to speak your partner’s love language by addressing risks and providing clear, measurable solutions.

Building Trust and Security: Find out how to help your avoidant partner feel less pressured and more secure, enabling them to receive your love.

By the end of this video, you’ll have actionable steps to enhance your relationship and build a deeper connection with your avoidant partner. Ready to start loving them in the best possible way? Let’s get started!

Dive deeper with my comprehensive video course, designed to guide you step-by-step through the process. This course also applies to avoidant women. Join the Course through this Link:

I'm Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist. Together, we can transform your relationship and help your avoidant partner feel truly loved. See you in the next video!

Join The Mentorship Program:

If you enjoyed this video and want more content like this, do me a favor: be sure to hit that like button, leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel!

Share it with your friends, and hit that notification bell so you never miss an update. 🛎️ Let's grow this amazing community together! 🚀

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

The 4 Attachment Styles Guide - Free! 📥

If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.

Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Chapters:
00:00:00 - Understanding Avoidant Partners
00:01:43 - Avoidant Attachment Style: Childhood Experiences and Brain Chemistry
00:03:34 - The Dopamine-Cortisol Pathway
00:05:22 - Misunderstanding in Relationships
00:07:12 - Fluffy Unicorn Love for Avoidant People
00:09:05 - The Role of Vasopressin Receptors in Bonding with Avoidant Partners
00:10:59 - Helping Your Partner Open Up and Bond
00:12:50 - Managing Risks and Building Intimacy
00:14:41 - How to Love and Avoidant Partner

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

[TheGalilee]

Give the avoidant all the space they want by walking away. You will be glad you did.

[northshorelight]

You love them from a distance. Meaning, go live your best life with someone who isn’t an avoidant. Life is too short and there are way too many secure people out there to waste your time with someone who is too messed up.

[changingwoman]

I'm a fluffy unicorn in love with an avoidant Viking. I have connected with him logically. He sees me as less of a threat and more of an alli. He tells me about things that are bothering him and problems he's trying to solve. He took me fishing. I found him a bobber. 😊 This makes me feel needed and appreciated. My anxiety is fading. His love, and ability to express it is slowly and awkwardly opening up like a hesitant flower I feel is going to burst open any minute. It's messy and imperfect but measurable progress that fills me with hope. In the meantime, my relationships with everyone else are improving too. I'm better at checking in with my friends and children. Building bonds. Thank you Adam. 🙏

[lydiacatherine]

My experience with an avoidant is to just match their effort. Don't take it personally. Any fire without fuel will die. And if the relationship dies naturally without anger it causes the least amount of damage to both of you. Put your interests first and take care of yourself. Grow your other relationships and your hobbies. I'm currently saving to move, because I know my situationship is not going anywhere

[kbc]

If you are a young woman who wants to have a family, please be aware of timing and how trying to heal a relationship when the other is unable/unwilling to engage in healing may rob you of that option. Losing your early to mid twenties to a relationship where the other person is unwilling to work on it can cost you the opportunity to have a family. I wish I had known that. and had not spent so much time trying to fix the unfixable. We think we have until 40 to have kids, so many of us stay and try to work it out with our partner who is not showing any real signs of wanting to change or making any real progress. There is hope for some, but please be honest with what you are seeing and, if you are childless now but want to have kids, be very aware of how the time you are spending is precious and could impact that option.

[WolfandOwl]

I am sick of his come and go, sabotage and taking me for granted, so walked away. I am worth of being loved and devoted to. Very sick of reading his mind and him being closed off. I am heartbroken but enough is enough. I offered all my support and care.

[ItsRaitisLV]

Anxious people attract avoidant people and trigger their avoidance even more. Goes both ways, obviously, so it's personal responsibility to work on ourselves and learn about the other person.

[dr.bunnywilson]

He actually said that to me...." I can't give you what you want" I hugged him & said, " you already did!!!"❤

[allisongriffiths]

Your avoidant partner would never put this much effort into understanding your needs 😢

[sifublack]

I've learned avoidants typically let their guard down when they stop caring what others think. When they stop taking everything personal and realize most people in their lives are just passing through, they tend to tell it how it is and become less secretive about their emotional state.

[segrz]

I'd like to point out that there are also healthy sources of dopamine like reading books, creating/consuming art or learning new skills.

[LoganStyles]

Problem is we dont know that they are avoidanys until its to late and we already love them

[JaneDoe-qigq]

Wow. This seems like a lot of work and catering. I mean, most of us have had hard times, trauma, and we have issues. But, if you try to stay with someone who's this damaged, and frankly, self-centered, you better be prepared to make your relationship your full time job. What about your real job, your family, your kids, maybe some time to take care of yourself once in a while? You'd have no time or energy for anything else!

[gilliansteele]

Anxious attachments' whole thing is to get lost in the emotion, buzz with the feelings. To have to get so technical so the the avoidant understands is a real passion killer

[Nono-jjtk]

I'm a self aware avoidant with a non self aware avoidant and your video about avoidant women, and another one about intimacy with an avoidant allowed me to have the best sex of my life. I was hesitant about you at fisrt, but your videos and advice get results. I have learned more from your videos than all other love and dating coaches combined. Your courses are the only ones I would consider paying for.

[mariedropkin]

I really like you and respect you.
I realize there are risks, but I think that if you and I work together, we can manage the risks. And then we can work to build something together and have a deeper connection that is more fulfilling for both of us.

[veronikavanquish]

would love to hear more about how these avoidants can be "the most loving, nurturing and attentive ppl".
It's hard to imagine right now and I need the motivation to not break up with him right now.

[April-dtpp]

Fluffy unicorn here....I didn't understand when we first got together that he just wasn't use to the kind of love and intimacy required for a strong, committed, lasting relationship. When he would push me away, I'd cry and that would illicit sympathy from him....he'd be hugging me while I cried, not realizing his pushing me away was what caused the tears in the first place. The more I've been able to get better at communication, the more he has started to get on board, and I think we're slowly starting to build something we will both cherish in time to come. So glad there are people like you out there willing to share their knowledge with those of us who are in the dark. It can be so hurtful and confusing when your partner tells you that your intensity and your wanting to talk through problems makes them uncomfortable, and that they would prefer to just keep everything lighthearted, when there are so many other clues telling you that's bs, lol. He and I have both been very badly wounded by past relationships where love was betrayed and abuse occured, so I do get where he is coming from. It's a long slow process, but one that seems to be worth it.

[kayyy.beeeee]

He has said on two occasions, “you make me feel so wanted and loved.”