Shame and Complex Trauma - Part 1/6 - What is Shame?

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What is shame? What causes shame? How does it affect us?

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[carlabamford]

“Abandonment…sends the greatest shame message…”
THANK YOU

[kazimierzgarshin]

I broke down at "Shame by definition is not an emotion, it is a core belief about yourself, about who you think you are."

[sarahalderman]

What really sucks is that we weren't loved or cared for as children so we end up going on to find more of the same as adults. All the mirrors have confirmed the shame.

[iaval]

I once told my therapist that I wonder what shame is, because I don't feel it at all. There is no situation which could make me ashamed. That was at the end of my 2nd year in therapy. 1, 5 year later, out of therapy, I realized that shame was something which I felt always, everywhere, so deep inside of my core that it became a part of my self. When a fish lives in an ocean, she doesn't know anything about the ocean. That's how big my shame used to be. I was ashamed even of opening myself to the therapist whom I know and meet every week during 2 years.

[rochellebroglen]

This is a difficult one to watch. I want to remind everyone that there's nothing wrong with you. Shame was only able to embed itself because you did care so much, because you needed to be loved. You brought nothing but love to this world.

You were (and still are) a precious, unique, brilliant Soul. You deserve to be you. You were given talents and gifts that will make our world a better place. We need you. I know how much courage it takes to stop hiding. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You can do it. I believe in you.

I'm sending you so much love Dear Soul. I see you and I KNOW in every fiber of my being, that you are worthy. You always were and always will be.

Prayers that this resonates with the deep, inherent wisdom of your Soul Self and brings you one step closer to the ever-present Love that you are. You matter. You are loved.

[freetobememe]

Been healing for 69 yrs. Never good enough, became ppl pleaser.

[eclipsedawn]

The life of untreated CPTSD will create more shame. It compounds upon itself. ..A huge reason to seek a specialist and start the work on healing. The truth is Waiting to address it will make you worse exponentially. (Speaking from experience.) avoidance is more damaging than you may think. If you Avoid too much it becomes neglect. Neglected by yourself, you are abusing yourself. A victim of your own neglect. Neglect is abuse. So making yourself a priority is the ONLY way out of the shame cycle. To anyone reading this, If you are feeling stuck I want to tell you can do it, with help. Keep seeking help.

[caron]

I’m 46 yrs old and I have been living with shame my whole life I suppose. I didn’t realize how much shame I had until listening to your video which described me perfectly. So perfectly that I had to pause the video a couple of times because my heart started pounding out of my chest and was getting extremely anxious. It was stirring up bad memories and I had to calm myself down. I guess you’d call that a “trigger”?I’ve watched so many videos in my time of self isolation. None of which has impacted me like this one has. I love how you dissected and clearly defined the root cause of my shame. I really need some help but I’m just so afraid to reach out.

[adamreynolds]

Good stuff. Shame is a killer....it is the most destructive issue that no one talks about it. Once I processed 25 years of shame I was free and could stay sober.

[MeganVincent-tltg]

This was painful to watch. Now I get why my internal dialogue is so messed up. Ugh. This makes sense why I have kept to myself most of my life, I never felt understood so what’s the point. I became a people pleaser and now I just feel a lot of resentment and bitterness toward people in general.

[urbansetter]

I was so badly barrated and humiliated I'm entrenched in shame. It's so painful it robbed my life

[christinamorales]

Rejection is a core wound too. Look into inner child work and reparent the inner child.

[amyjomoore]

I've always felt unloved, unwanted, not needed, not good enough. I never knew it was shame. Wow. I'm carrying generational shame, I know. Just like generational trauma. This is deep!!!

Thank you Tim Fletcher for your lectures! ❤ life changing in my healing journey.

[BionicBunny]

I never benefited from one on one therapy. Group therapy, however, helped a lot.
These videos and everyone in the comments is just like group therapy and I thank you all 💗

[nannue]

I thought acknowledging abandonment issue was pretty brutal, and now I am learning about Complex Trauma and Shame... Oh boy, I am in for a ride of a life time. Thank you! I will just keep going, healing and listening...

[Cassie-ptmt]

Thank you for the broken pot story. I've been pretty angry with God. I want to not only heal from my trauma and let it go... I also want to feel closeness to God again.

[fitspirit]

An amazing book I read early in recovery that had a huge effect on me: "Healing The Shame that Binds You"

[leslieb]

Even reading the comments is encouraging...so I dont feel alone facing n coming out of this

[davidnorman]

I feel full of shame, as if pumped full of it as a kid, like pumping air into a balloon until I explode with it. But it's shame, for having my own needs, my own feelings, my own emotions, my own thoughts, my own identity, shame for these sorts of issues and components of my life, either shame or guilt

[cogama]

I knew this inside but could not explain or define nor find healers who could . Thank God for his healing ❤️‍🩹 from shame and acceptance and adoption as his valued beloved daughter!