Understanding Trauma - Part 20 - Signs of Healing

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Tim looks at 12 signs that a person is healing from trauma.

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[TimFletcher]

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My number one sign of healing has been that I'm no longer looking to other people to take care of me.

[Superflyradioguy]

I'm noticing toxic people and choosing to walk away. I'm no longer a pushover. I've developed solid boundaries. I don't need approval. Something changed.

[RaRa-eliz]

Who knew we'd grow up and find out one day that we have to grow up all over again ?
Thank you so much for your contribution.

[MargrietS]

Signs of healing: that you are watching a video about signs of healing 😍

[mskinetik]

This is the first time I've heard a therapist describe signs of healing. Very good to hear.

[JUSTME-einh]

My sign of healing is my immune is much better...my stress was so huge I stayed seriously ill constantly

[Kristen]

The 2nd best thing to having him as a therapist are these videos ….this man is so gifted and blesses so many troubled hearts.

[maimunabey]

April 2024... anyone else finding this man is a blessing to healing?

[Cheesycat]

I am getting pushback from my family. I'm not letting my family push me around. They hate it. That is my sign I'm healing. People who only wanted my submission are leaving. I'm not panicking. This new change is growth.

[RobertaFierro-mcub]

The very first sign of healing is the fact that we are all here on this platform with Tim. Most Fridays we'd be shooting pool at the Bar..as a famous person once said You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

[lw]

Thank you, friend. I am almost a year into this new knowledge. At 53, I had lived a life of anxiety and depression. I perceived rejection and internalized inadequacy, in nearly every social situation. My beloved and beleaguered husband held onto me despite my many attempts to push him away. My adult children knew that I was emotionally damaged and they gave me so much grace. But I had no peace. My mind was my enemy. My thoughts were a skipping record. I finally sought help and was given six ketamine treatments. During those treatments, I was able to have multiple breakthroughs that were life changing. The first was that regardless of how strongly I respond to a situation, it isn't necessarily about me. Then I realized that one second is a very long time. See, I had been in a car accident and I watched my dogs fly through the air into the back of the van. I recall processing the thoughts that I been in an accident. All of this before the air bags knocked me out. So I understood that one second is a long time. Therefore, I can take the time to respond to a situation. Then I realized that my fears affected my perception of God, and that I was actually in a good place with Him! Finally, I understood that there is an OPTIMAL me, buried inside, that is anxious to get out, beyond the damage, and to succeed and be healed.

So this year, I have healed immensely. I can sleep most of the time now. I don't carry the world on my shoulders. I can be open about my anxiety. My pain has lessened a bit. My relationships with my husband and kids is so enriched and they are seeing my progress. I am able to talk myself out of anxiety attacks.

All of my life, I thought that this hypervigilant, intense, rapid fire personality was who I was. But once I recognized that nearly all of it was on the list of symptoms for abandonment trauma, I knew that to continue on is to allow those awful people to steal my life even when they were dead. My inner rebel led me to adopt healthier patterns.

I am grateful for this season. It was very difficult, but I am thinking clearer and cleaning house of the debris of thee past. So thank you for providing enlightening videos for those of us who are paralyzed in a time and place where horror entered our lives, and out us in a cage.

I am sleeping better. I am honest about my anxiety with people. I am kinder to myself, knowing that I haven't always been. I've stopped fawning (normal people recoil). I am setting boundaries. I am not enduring emotionally abusive relationships because of blood relation. I am addressing my procrastination. I am becoming safe to talk to for those who I hurt, specifically my husband and kids. I am no longer taking everything personally. I've lost a lot of weight effortlessly. Today, I registered for school to learn a new skill.

Life is good. It's never too late. Take care.

[haliec]

I am so proud of myself for pulling through a mental breakdown 3 years ago. During my healing I removed all toxic individuals, focused on what gives and brings me a peaceful mind. This year my body has rewarded me with new energy to do light exercise and gardening. Literally a miracle. Last year my body ached so much I could hardly walk. I could identify healing when I became aware that I was treating myself more kindly and lovingly. Slow and steady wins the race. Be patient in your healing.❤

[basilrose]

Disassociation is equally as much due to overwhelm and not knowing what to do because anxiety blocks access to problem-solving executive function.

[MargrietS]

And I want to add another one, I hear myself start laughing again! That’s a really important sign of healing. Also, having more fun or even just once in awhile smile again❤

Signs of healing, for me:
- becoming more assertive, saying 'no' because I feel like it, without justifying it, however much I feel like explaining myself.
- less 'solving the conversation' in my head as a result of the above. When your response is balanced and correct (for YOU, and however 'unreasonable' someone else might alledgedly find it), you'll not find yourself going over stuff nearly as much as when you either give in too easily or resist too much.
- better able to recognize feelings, especially the 'forbidden' ones, such as anger.
- putting anger (or love, for that matter) where it belongs, so as to not take it home and project it onto the world around me (getting angry at traffic, the news, whatever)
- experiencing color with a sense of awe instead of the desaturated mass even the most colorful landscape can become when my head's off.
- a natural impulse to order the world around me, such as cleaning the house and thinking about how to make it my own, instead of just a husk I have to live in with stuff I happen to own.
- receiving positive vibes from others. Yeah, I very much see myself reflected in others. When I'm doing well, suddenly the world is smiling at me.
- got more, but..

[kathyfrancis]

I keep going. It's like walking through a horror movie. Just one step at a time. Peace and love to everyone out there who is struggling

[RocktaviaSLKrantz]

Watched this and it was SO helpful. Recovering from CPTSD and left a 17 year marriage with cheating, drug addicted Narcissist. Its been very difficult. Thank you for your posting this. I cried but that is okay. That's part of what I'm doing right now :)

[natural]

My number one signs of healing is that i can feel emotions. All emotions. I feel extremely blessed

[Itsand]

TL;DR
Signs of healing include a person's ability to feel and tolerate emotions, develop healthy relationships, and live a routine based on meeting their needs.

For survivors of complex trauma, healing indicators may include the reduction of shame, the ability to set and enforce boundaries, and the emergence of authenticity, self-care, and boundary setting. The healing process involves developing self-awareness, recognizing false beliefs, and dealing with setbacks as progress is not always linear.