Is it fear of abandonment or rejection?

Recently I was asked to explain the difference between fear of abandonment and fear of rejection. It can be confusing because both can cause us to push people away, but they are very different.

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[seanypatpatterson]

What if you're perfectly happy keeping people at arm's reach because every time you let people closer you get abandoned so you go years with your closest relationships being basically acquaintances? Including family.

[adamphilip]

I don't really agree, I experience fear of rejection around specific situations regardless of the length of the relationship. I feel this is a bit of an over generalisation.

[Destassan]

Rejection is like being threatened with a knife.

Abandonment is like bleeding out.

[emmahills]

Really gives so much to feel about, thank you so much😊

[Inseparable]

Aren't they closely related? People that are rejection sensitive don't they usually suffer from fear of abandonment also?

[kwills]

This was so so so helpful for me! Thank you so much ❤️❤️

[perrystalsisworldofbiology]

I have fear of both. That's why i've been married to someone for 30 years that I have never really liked very much.

[JenniferMeinel]

I also disagree. My parents don't abandon, but they're constantly rejecting. I try to explain rejection as an action towards a person. Kind of like a person pushing me away, so the action of creating distance is towards me. To me, abandonment is more of an action away from a person. So instead of pushing me, they turn around and just walk away. Ghosting is a perfect example of that. I see them as 2 different types of action words, but both can be done by someone you already have an established relationship with or even a stranger. They're just different types of actions. I'm interested to see what other people have to say about this!

[avabearden]

I have a fear of my own abandonment. Like I'll leave someone I'll love so much because I can't handle it.

[EllieGrant]

Hey! You abandoned us at the end there 😂

[ramennoodle]

What's causing those fear? and the difference of them? Does fear of rejection caused by judgemental family? Do you think fear of rejection and fear of judgement is the same thing?

[lauranegomes]

Katie, What about being rejected regularly in a romantic relationship? I fear abandonment due to the constant rejection of intimacy from my partner. I already have HUGE abandonment issues from childhood and i am not reassured by my partner when they tell me they love me

[ray.deathray]

Me before watching this: "Oh, I never really thought of the difference between fearing rejection or fearing abandonment. I just figured I had abandonment issues, but maybe it's really not as intense as that."

Me after watching this: "Oh, never mind, it's totally fear of abandonment." 😖

[bri]

Can having both parents abandon you as a baby cause fear of rejection?

[syxarrivato]

K but I fear both 🤦🏻‍♀️ i can't win