Fear of Abandonment | Kati Morton

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy

MY BOOKS (in stores now)

ONLINE THERAPY

Join this channel to get access to perks:

YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

PARTNERSHIP

PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[jennym]

Abandonment is huge for me. I tend to shut my friends out because i'm so scared that they're just going to give up on me. So i realized that i try and give them an out if that makes sense. Anyways thank you for this video

[harpreetsingh-fcyd]

I don't blackmail someone, ever. I suffer in silence..

[katb]

The problem with playing out situations is that people with BPD tend to hyper focus on potential situations. At least for me, I will play out scenarios in my head situations that may or may never happen. I tend to go negative when in an anxious state. So, I don't know if that would help.

[Jrjejfjebdcee]

I don't have an eating disorder, but this video was really helpful. Whenever friends don't turn up, cancel plans or do something without me I cut them off. I often forget that they care about me, so the idea of just talking to them to make sure everything's ok is less destructive than cutting the out of my life.

[learninlife]

could you please do a video about people who go from relationship to relationship as it ties down to fear of abandonment? thanks

[knitchywa]

Hi Kati,
What about fear of abandonment that doesn't include, self harm, acting out or blackmail etc but....just the thought of being abandoned, real or false, causes intense emotional pain and sheer terror like the world is going to end.

[ArtsyChildDreamer]

I have watched this video three times...you are discribing exactly how I feel...my whole life I have been terrifed of people leaving me....but I have tended to stuff it down and not express my fear to the people I love...instead I have just tried not to express too much of any emotion so that they cannot hurt me in the first place...

[SkylerAdriel]

This topic is actually one I have the MOST interest in because I think this gets down to the real issues. Mainly, because many therapists have a view on personality disorders that... are very grim? As in, "can't be fully overcome". But I disagree. I believe just like we can train ourselves to think a certain way, we can train our brain patterns out of it. I believe this fully with all of my heart... to the point of now going to school to be able to help others with this. I think therapists

[letrasconmawa]

I am one day old of knowing that I have abandonment issue and while looking back at it i realised that it's true

[CourtneyBerry]

Thank you for your video. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and my psychologist said the only way to beat this disorder is to fight my fear of abandonment. So your video was great

[anjelicafarino]

Kati,
I think this video perfectly describes what I've been dealing with. Emotional blackmailing. I hardly realize I do it until I had some conversations with close friends about how much pressure it puts on them. They also feel badly as if I don't trust them to not leave me. I don't know why I fear this so much, I'm an only child, my parents divorced and it's just tough at home a lot but I have soo many amazing friends who love me well. I would love for you to expand on this topic on practical things we can do to avoid this. Or why? Starving myself because to get back at someone makes no sense at all.

[jess_paige]

I love your videos! I've been in DBT for almost two years and its the only therapy that I've benefitted from. Thank you so much for your work.

[thomas.loyens]

Thanks for sharing Kati ❤ I recently discovered I have BPD and am especially struggling with fear of abandonment. I started having feelings for my therapist, told her and she responded well. But I started feeling (and we also talked about it) that she was started getting overwelmed by my attchement. Now she's acting different, more distant, less comforting, more boundaries. And it's hurting so fucking bad, It made me suicidal again. It's gotten better since I phoned her yesterday, but it's still very painful.

[Cessie]

I do this, but only with my treatment team. I've often felt like the only way for me to be taken seriously and get more intensive treatment is if my ED gets worse. My depression and anxiety is never really taken seriously. So I'm absolutely terrified of letting go of my ED and gaining weight, because that would mean I would have to go back to general psych instead of getting treatment at the ED clinic, where I finally feel like I'm being taken seriously and I'm actually getting help when I need it instead of my treatment team just following the situation for months until making any decisions about more intensive care. So if I let go of my ED, I will again be abandoned and have to deal with my anxiety and depression, even though I can't do it.

[melissamorrell]

oh..and My fear of abandonment has played out so well according to the law of attraction. I literally subconsciously choose men that threaten to abandon me for our entire relationship. ..Its insane because..yes, from my abandonment to a hospital at 1 and a half..for 6 weeks, to my daddy's abandonment at age 5....and up to only a few weeks ago when my husband abandoned me for two weeks for the first time ever...I can't seem to get it out of my life...Im the only thing I can change....so, As of today, im embracing my own journey of self love...even the phrase is uncomfortable. I don't have one clue who I am and never understood until now how sad that is . And just how detrimental not knowing yourself is to nearly all aspects of life..m

[Nebris]

I love your approach. Not 'clinical', but like a gal pal. That helps a lot because you're relating to people on the same level, not as someone 'superior'. I suspect you already know, but it never hurts to get affirmation, right? 😘

[SystemOfShootingStar]

I struggle with this everyday and it is really something that can control your life to the point that you have no social life, so your very alone. i take it one step further to the point where i don't even give people a chance, so that no one will let me down, so i have no disappointments and abandonment. it's all very depressing. And i think that my eating disorder comes partly from my thinking that people won't like me, so i restrict. i know that it's absurd, but i still do it, also absurd.

[CaraBraun]

I'm glad you posted this video because it got me thinking. I suffered from BPD for 8 years but am now fully recovered thanks to DBT and a lot of hard work. Looking back, I think some of the suicidal behaviour and self-harming was related to the fear of being abandoned by everyone; I didn't want to lose anyone so if I committed suicide, no one could leave me first. There were also other factors involved but I'm glad to now have a little insight as to what was going on at the time. Thanks :)

[alohapacalolo]

Thank you so much for these videos, my therapist doesn't understand EDs very well, and your videos help. So thank you, keep it up, xoxo

[melissamorrell]

I recently found your channel...Well, Im 45 and for the first time in my life I understand That Narcissism exists and also to that I have been married and divorced from too...And im in my 7th year with the 3rd...Im trying to pinpoint why I am a narcissist magnet. I have full blown codependency and it seems I have marc fleas and bits of borderline and others...Im learning, but still unsure where to begin my personal work..anyway, thank you. You are very helpful so far...