Abandonment Issues | The Signs

In this video, MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, and clinical psychologist, Dr Ramani Durvasula, discusses the five signs that you have abandonment issues. Dr. Ramani provides psychology - backed relationship advice on the signs of abandonment issues in relationships in this video. She goes above and beyond answering the question, "what are abandonment issues?"

00:00 Rumination about abandonment
01:01 Strong reactivity at point of departure
02:37 Strong reactivity at point of reunion
04:46 Stickiness in close relationships
05:03 Tries to make themselves "indispensable"
05:28 Anxiety & fear of abandonment
06:07 "Verbalized rumination"
07:31 How to watch more

#Psychology #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #abandonmentissues #abandonment

[devans]

For those of you who feel like you don't have abandonment issues because you love solitude, news flash, you may have abandonment issues. You prefer not being with other people so you can't be abandoned.

We never get to experience love to its fullest because we're scared of the ending which makes us never get involved in the first place. It's kind of sick when you think about it. We also self sabatoge to avoid being hurt. I'm working through my issues rigorously. 😫

[dailydoseofmedicinee]

always wanting to please others (being a “people pleaser”)
giving too much in relationships.
an inability to trust others.
pushing others away to avoid rejection.

[TheSapphireSprit]

I used to have panic attacks when my husband and I would go to the store and separate to pick up different things and I couldn’t find him right away. I spent several years in foster care after being abandoned by my mother. I’m almost 60 now and just got over it maybe10 years ago. Childhood can create quite a few scars…

[BonesAndButtons]

I think I have the opposite of abandonment issues. I only feel safe when I am alone.

[Bravosmom]

I was physically and verbally abused during childhood up until I left at 18. But the worst punishment was the silent treatment for days. And to this day, if I don’t hear from someone I immediately think it’s my fault. Which had caused me to engage in toxic relationships. In other words my past relationships were one sided. Me always trying to please. No more. These videos are better than any therapy I’ve ever had. And you can imagine how many years I’ve been to therapy. 😬

[migdaliavasquez]

Wow that’s very true; the anticipatory anxiety of abandonment is always there and it’s heavy baggage to carry….

[troymoore]

Never said any better! My abandonment issues have cost me countless friendships! With older family members or friends i even go as far as thinking that this person is going to die someday & i feel sorrow of a loss that hasn't even happened! I try to find peace & happiness being alone but with the abandonment issues of childhood trauma I constantly seek the company of others!

[TheGeekMonster]

I'm studying psychology, and wish I could intern with Dr. Ramani. She's amazing and so good at teaching and explaining!

[augustadelzotto]

Good presentation, as always. Also, please address the feeling of being "Disrespected". Some people with abandonment issues have the feeling of not being respected (disposable) that brings forth rage, not so much the fear of not being cared for. Most kids that were ignored / left behind are actually good at caring for themselves - they had to.

[livedeliciously]

It sucks finding out you have abandonment issues later in life. It explains why I lack any close relationships. The cold hard truth of it all is that I am fundamentally broken and unable to form bonds with other people. That's not to say I don't care about people. I just hate how I lack the ability to express affection or even receive it. Dying alone is becoming more of a possibility unless I fix myself ASAP.

[jmbproductions]

"Living into the good-bye". Yes, that sums up every relationship I've ever had. I always expect this to be the 'last' time, the point where they say, "You know, this just isn't going to work, so see you later." And I'm left with another scar that I blame on myself.

[Dovefinancing]

This has nailed it. It’s such a baaaad feeling This explains why I used to be very happy but very sad at the same time in relationships and I wasn’t able to explain it. Like I should be happy now I am with the person I like but the constant anticipation of being left by the person was so overwhelming.

[pavla]

My abandonment issues were really strong during the first few years of marriage after having grown up in an abusive narcissistic home . When my husband walked out the driveway to get the mail I would lock the door behind him and think 'well he's gone' and literally start imagining and planning my life without him . He used to joke that if he stepped outside he heard the door lock behind him - that was reality . Over the years I guess I mostly wore myself out doing this as so many other things took precedence in my mind . Many days I still imagine life on my own .

[emilyhughes]

I’m fascinated by your comment about the point of reunion. I struggle with abandonment issues, and I am just realizing now the reunion is certainly agitating. It’s a sense of….I’ve been consumed with wanting this person to return, and now that they are back, it doesn’t fulfill me the way I expected it to.

[PoisonelleMisty]

I have abandonment issues and dislike goodbyes. Its hard to let go of people and the fear of being left behind is always lingering in my mind. The thought of losing someone I care about brings up intense emotions and makes it difficult for me to trust and form deep connections with others.

[stephaniemarburger]

Wow watching this made me realize how far I’ve come with my own abandonment issues. A lot of the stuff said here is stuff I used to do not in this present moment. I’m honestly a lot at peace now and there is way less anxiety in my life with this subject. So it is something you can overcome ❤️

[Miss.kittty]

Omg I discovered this in the last few years.
I was left as a 4 yr old in an orphanage for a year.
I realized every crappy decision I ever made took me right back to that point in time. Clung onto bad relationships for fear of being abandoned as an adult. Married to a alcoholic narc for 30 years rather than get left behind. I suffered from anxiety most of my life and I know this is why. Thank you.

[Pgschool]

This episode really hit home. From early childhood until recent past I haven't had close bonds that normally last due to death, friendships ending, sabotaging potential friendships before they begin) Abandonment coupled with me being an extreme introvert has a lot to do with me not bonding with people.

[dinab]

My favorite psychologist on YouTube! ❤

[kimberlydavis]

I'm an introvert a lone wolf. My natural character and nature is I prefer to be alone. I prefer to be alone 90% of the time. If I don't have time to myself then I can't recharge myself emotionally, mentally and physically. I feel smothered all the time. I don't want to be in a relationship with no one and I'm not in a relationship with no one. I really can't relate to this at all because I love to be alone. I just can't handle anymore stress and being around others 24/7. I need to be in a quiet calm environment without the chaos.