The Fear of Abandonment: How it Can Push People Away - Complex Trauma Prisons

Tim explores the relationship between the fear of abandonment and Complex Trauma.

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Abandonment in childhood creates fear of abandonment, which creates a series of patterns that are intended to prevent abandonment from ever happening again; but that actually create abandonment. It is a prison. Tim explores why this happens and how to change it.

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Chapters
00:00 Introduction
02:11 10 Questions to Ask Yourself
04:07 Understanding the Abandonment Life Trap
08:15 3 Main Triggers
13:03 Why is abandonment a prison?
14:20 3 Types of Abandonment
17:20 The Characteristics of the Abandonment Prison
34:39 The Origins of the Abandonment Wound
37:30 Recovery Dangers
42:19 Healing

[TimFletcher]

💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.

[saycog]

I wish I could live a year in the shoes of a person with great healthy self esteem .

[mistyk]

Your videos began popping up on my screen one day just out of nowhere and I truly believe that God sent them to me to change my life. I have suffered from abandonment wounds for most of my life and didn’t understand why certain things such as jealousy kept happening in my relationships. Thank you so much for doing these videos and helping me to finally start to heal and be the person God always intended for me to be!

[colleengibson]

I have deep abandonment issues. I was left alone in isolation in a military hospital and I remember feeling like the whole world had left me. I guess they didn't know what the problem with me was so they drugged me and put me in isolation. Torture for a 4year old. Then on top of all that, my parents martial problems and eventual divorce. My dad totally abandoned his family responsibility. Now I spend my life and every single relationship up till the last one, wondering when they'll leave me too. And then he did, then he past away. This issue is a bear to get through. I feel frozen. Not wanting another relationship and yet I miss the closeness of a relationship. So confusing. Thanks Tim for the insight on all this stuff. Makes total sense in how life plays out when childhood has so many dysfunctions. One on top of another.

[lwontherez]

If their partner is a narcissist, they feel abandonment triggers nearly constantly!! —Because the narcissist is not able to love or attach. And everybody in the world means the same to the narcissist as the “Intimate partner”

[debrakarr]

I've always told my family I don't need any of u....now I know why I've always felt alone and fighting the world all alone..just wow

[CupNoodleKitty]

I‘m sobbing listening to this. It makes me feel so guilty for how my last relationship ended. I feel this deep loneliness and shame and like I can never find true love

[FlorenceLunsford-sknj]

This deep well of shame it's so painful

[STEPHANIEENAJE]

So many gems here, as well as tough pills to swallow. I truly appreciated how abandonment examples were given - of which many hit home for me! The healing section was critical, all my habits that I never understood - explained here. Being alone is my next frontier. ❤

[zdb]

Tim. I must tell you. You are one of the best in explaining and helping in this mater. Thank you so much for your friendship for all of us in need to untangle the knots in our heads

[JudeRevolution-cl]

Thank you as always Tim . I truly appreciate your guidance and understanding of CPTSD .

[TrueSelfWalkAway]

Excellent. thanks for this wonderful healer. Yes this sums up my life. I am in solo healing mode. I have therapy, coaching, self study. This is my most painful wound in my recovery.

[volchonik]

Truly amazing. Self awareness is the key. Even watching this video is proof that you can rise above the maladaptive mechanisms and find the stable healthy love everyone deserves.

Wishing for the strength to move forward, make healthy connections, and heal to everryone watching! 🌾

[fembot]

This 100% describes me. It sucks so bad. My husband suddenly died and it’s set off my abandonment issues big time. We were together 20 years. It’s been 3 years and the idea of dating is terrifying for this reason. I met a guy online and from the first few times we talked I knew he was going to leave eventually.

[lisalambert]

My eldest daughter seen it and knew it before I did, I went to her one day and said I have abandonment issues and she said you think… I said why didn’t you tell me? She said would it have made any difference? Cause you have to see these things for yourself so you can heal them. If you don’t see or recognize your issues, you can’t or won’t change or heal them.

[saycog]

My difficulty in setting boundaries is that I fear their boundaries are going to be stronger than mine ( and they usually are stronger in standing up for themselves than I am) then I regret putting boundaries and acuse myself of not being flexible enough…because deep inside I know I’d ’be able’ to put up with more psychological abuse in order to keep the ‘peace’.😢

[maryj]

Hello Tim, thanks for this wonderful video. Could you please make a video only for the healing part with details please? That would help many of us.

[joshepherd]

Listening to this talk, I am astounded at how much of my life followed these patterns, and all along I thought it was ME. Thank you for opening my eyes to this. Part of me wants to say, what a wasted life but another part says, hey, at least you are no longer in the prison. Without God's help, I would still be there.

[CynthiaSchoenbauer]

Wow! I prayed for major help for this weekend and now I have some understanding of my confusion and pain. Thanks Tim! You knew, somehow what I was grasping to understand of my emotions and confusion.

[treehouse]

The problem is I don’t feel it when they leave, It’s when one Im with a person or a friend, it’s really hit when Im attached with someone