I healed my abandonment issues by learning emotional permanence

connect

shot by John Lee

grip - Melissa Gasca

sound - Jason Mobley

edited by Ben Chinapen

edited by Timothy Hautekiet

gfx by Bethany Radloff

[lovekatelynn]

“i cannot be abandoned because i always have myself “ is definitely my new favourite affirmation💝

[lightludology]

I didn't get therapy until 22, and I was told I had mad abandonment issues, but the solution was "Find ways to be excited to be by yourself". That way you're not anxious when you're alone, and if you do get abandoned you have ways to internally bring joy that makes the healing process so much faster. Before I would circle the drain asking why I wasn't good enough, now I know I'm awesome and it just wasn't the right relationship

[MariaLuckyxo]

Having inconsistent parents leads us to pick inconsistent partners, it feels familiar.

When someone doesn't make you feel safe, seen & celebrated you will not have a secure attachment with them.

My anxious attachment and abandonment issues pretty much resolved themselves when I actively picked emotional mature partners, who made me feel secure in what we have.

When you don't question what you have with someone at all, you feel very safe and secure.

[cuentosdelasestrellas]

I was talking to my inner child about this 2 days ago. I didn’t know it had a name. My inner child has successfully learned the concept of emotional permanence (the fact that people are busy and can’t pay attention to you right now doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore). Now we are practicing ❤

[EvilSnails]

I really respect that she showed all the months and symptoms that she had to face to even get to this point. People often overlook that this is straight up advice to do it but it's never as simple as that, it's a bunch of hurdles over time that you need to keep trying to reach a significant change in your life.

[cadensmith]

As a fearful avoidant who just got dumped by an anxiously attached woman, I didn’t understand her point of view but I understand now that when I pulled away she felt abandoned and when she can’t see or feel my emotions she doesn’t think they exist. And well, such is life it probably wouldn’t have worked out bc both of us have unfinished work and inner healing to do. Life moves on

[traveler-a]

I never thought I wanted to see Anna play peekaboo with herself, but dang, that was both adorable and hilarious, so cute!

[swan]

that's totally me, i only feel emotionally connected to people when we're in the same room or at least like meeting every single day

[Luckyy]

Never leave your body, never abandon your self validation, never get out of your self concept, stay in your self! Outside is just a reflection.
You are the constant. They are not. Heal this energy and you’ll never rely on the outside world let alone people to control your inner fulfillment. Sometimes it takes a life time to understand autonomy within a relationship, but aren’t we all imperfect.

[afterglowinrose]

it’s like you know what i’m going through 😭

[sarap]

Ah! That's why I'm "dramatic" in relationships 🤦🏻‍♀️

[jinchuriki]

My biggest fear of abandonment is with potential friends. I dont want to self sabotage by sending constant texts and asking to hang out. At the same time, a friend should stay in constant communication

[TrentonF]

This year has been a huge learning experience for me because I’ve been abandoned twice. First time sent me into a depression for a whole month and I only went on a few dates with the person. A couple weeks ago the same thing happened with someone I felt even stronger about and I just wished them the best. Tbh I’ve put a lot of work into myself this year and I’m starting to feel good about myself.

[juanarocha]

I finally healed from my last fear of commitment. Cheers everyone!
Edit:

I first had to overcome my mommy issues

[katecollins]

I have paid for a year’s worth of therapy for this summary. Thank you for this.

[HoneyComb]

I love this line " I can never be abandoned, because I always have my back".

[plurrpao]

As someone diagnosed BPD I’m so glad you’re touching on some of the many struggles that comes with BPD.

[MrReese]

This does not necessarily have anything to do with the parents, it can also be caused by your surroundings and your experiences that you have made in your life. You cannot trust anyone or anything people say and take it at face value, that is simply the world we live in. It's not the world my parents showed me, but it's the world I have grown to experience.

[Iamaries]

Anna is the older sister I’ve always wanted and needed. Thanks for getting me through my tough times❤

[leemylks]

I love that you can laugh at yourself while you make others laugh all while conveying a complex and perhaps difficult-to-hear message!

You're beautiful (and funny) girl! Keep up the good work!