Childhood Trauma: Fear of getting caught being unproductive

If this resonates, check out my book "How to Do The Work"

[kimedison]

It still feels weird to just relax without judgement 😮

[christina_cl]

Hearing footsteps while I'm doing something unproductive still makes my stress level spike and it's been 15 years since I last lived with my parents.

[halee]

This is why I always make sure to kiss the tops of my kiddos heads when they're just lounging on the couch. My love isn't conditional and I want them to know resting is accepted in our home. Life outside our home will put enough pressure on them. Let your children have a safe haven where they can just be themselves.

[nicolem]

What a soulless feeling to carry. Anyone who can relate to this…know that you deserve better.

[hobbythat]

Everytime someone sees me relaxing watching a show I freak out in my head thinking they are judging me and that I should get up and do something.

[GodsSparrowSpeaks]

*Fear, Guilt, Displaced responsibility, Shame….*
In a word: BURDENS

[leephylborn]

This is a revelation to me. I never knew anyone else did this. It feels so much better to know I’m not alone.

[lucymcnoodle]

This is so true. My current boyfriend will just text me throughout the day asking what I’ve been up to and immediately I try to list off the things that I’ve done, dishes, laundry, mopping, etc. And he eventually asked me why I do that I didn’t even realize it, but it’s because I felt he was asking me to make sure I was doing something productive, because that’s how I grew up in an abusive home. In reality he was just asking because he missed me and wanted to know what I was doing. Mind you I’m a 40 year-old woman and it’s still something that I have a hard time doing is allowing myself to “relax“

[KleeKaiBreeders]

That’s how I felt when I was married. The whole house walked on egg shells. Once he came home, we all jumped up even if everything looked good and chores were done.
He’s gone now. Divorce can be a success.

[Groovyever]

Therapy is not assessable or affordable to all. Your content is healing and helping so many. Thanks you

[witchykittyy]

My mom HATED to see me vibing, either playing a game or watching tv or listening to music, yet she never taught me a single life skill, never encouraged me to do or try anything, and I was an undiagnosed autistic child so I wasn’t learning it on my own. Would yell at me to let HER do it whenever I tried to help with chores yet complained constantly about no one helping her with chores. I was always useless, lazy, good for nothing even though I was always the top student in every class. And I learned to believe it. I can’t even begin to tell you how this has ruined my life. But I AM doing better now, if never great nor perfect, at least I’m out of that house and doing better.

[lms]

This hits hard, my childhood fear followed me into a workplace I was at and fed by an awful boss who fed it more.

[CK]

I had no idea that so many other people in the world suffered from this fear too. Growing up you always feel like you are the only one and you aren't aware that it's not normal to feel and act that way. I had the same one and it came from my mom who was a workaholic and thought resting and relaxing was being lazy and selfish, but she got it from her mom, my grandma, who was an immigrant to the U.S. and was also a workaholic. The fear has subsided a lot since I haven't been in that environment in a while. My mom worked herself to the point of sickness and then be physically forced to rest, then get better and then work herself sick again and then be forced to rest and then get well enough to work but it was a pattern with her, and I never wanted to live that way.

[JLTravels]

Omg, spot on…always productive, always performing, always taking care, always the poster child…if not, hell to pay!!

[xXDJPlushXx]

I didn't even know this was a thing, my heart hurts for those who can relate.

[afterthestorm]

Yep when I hear footsteps
I have to remember I'm an adult in my own home doing what I want when I want and that's OK.

[TheHeartsetCoach]

I'm still learning what restorative relaxing looks like. There was only working or being lazy. It was never enough. Such a toxic outlook on a developing mind. Keep doing the work, eventually we will reprograms those imprints on our psyche.

[CopperMoon]

So true and not just from childhood trauma. It's everyday trauma and judgement in our world, especially now. We are worthy of love and peace.❤

[coldplayfanx]

Growing up I always carried a pencil a random book and a random notebook, just to look busy. There was no downtime or me time, I had to either be cleaning or studying, otherwise my parents rage will come. I thought this was normal everywhere. I learned it was not until my last year of highschool.

[jessicadrew]

I didn't realize I did this when I started dating my bf and he was so confused and when he realized what I was doing, he started trying to stop me and get me to relax. Very grateful for him.