Childhood Trauma: The Lives of the Neglected Children

Children who experience physical, cognitive or emotional neglect, often face anxiety. As a result, their body produces stress hormones. If this happens a lot, these hormones become toxic for their developing brain, which then later can repress emotional and cognitive well-being for life.

TREATMENTS
If a child is used to suppressing their emotions, because of neglect, it may be difficult to recognize and experience them in a healthy way. Therapists and mental health professionals can help both children and adults learn to identify, accept, and express their emotions in a healthful manner. These treatment options include:
1. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT): CBT aims to explain to you what's going on inside your brain and how to cope with irrational feelings or fears.
2. The Hoffman Process: This 7-8 day's guided process, designed to bring participants back into their childhood to reconnect with their parents and make peace.
3. Family therapy: If a child is being emotionally neglected at home, family therapy can help both the parents and the child.
4. Parenting classes: Parents who neglect their child’s emotional needs could benefit from parenting classes.
5. Psychoanalysis: The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious.

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THANKS to our patrons
This video was made with the support of our Patrons: Johan Klassen, Angela,
Wolfgang Vullhorst, Reynir Örn Bachmann Guðmundsson, Daniel Kapuschinsky,

COLLABORATORS
Script: Jonas Koblin and Wave Vasiksiri
Artist: Pascal Gaggelli
Voice: Matt Abbott
Coloring: Nalin
Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa
Creative Design: Selina Bador
Production: Bianka
Proofreading: Susan
Sound Design: Miguel Ojeda

Special thanks to our follower Wave Vasiksiri for suggesting the topic and collaborating on this script.

SOUNDTRACKS
Toys Are Alive - Studio Le Bus
Here Come The Raindrops - Reed Mathis

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SOURCES

Zeanah, C. H. et al., 2005. Attachment in Institutionalized and Community Children in Romania. Society for Research in Child Development, Volume 76, pp. 1015-1028

Marinus H. van IJzendoorn, M. P. C. M. L. & Juffer, F., 2008. IQ of Children Growing Up in Children's Homes: A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, Volume 54, pp. 341-366

Nelson, C.A., Zeanah, C.H., Fox, N.A., Marshall, P. J., Smyke, A.T., & Guthrie, D. (2007). Cognitive recovery in socially deprived young children: The Bucharest Early Intervention Project. Science, 318(5858), 1937-1940. PMID: 18096809

CHAPTERS
00:00 Neglect Theory
00:40 Daniel Rucareanu's story
01:33 Cognitive Neglect
02:29 Physical Neglect
03:10 Emotional Neglect
05:10 Ending

[VividlyDreamin]

The older I get, the more I realise how emotional neglected I was as a child - but I had always told how good I had it because I was spoiled with presents (and I'll admit I was). But all the materials goods in the world don't mean anything if you think you are worthless and a burden in the eyes of your family and yourself.

[livedeliciously]

This video is exactly why some people shouldn't have kids. I wasn't raised, I was clothed and fed. I've seen people treat their dogs with more affection than my parents did to me.

[SamPan]

'Don't go to your baby everytime she cries because that'll teach her that she can get your attention everytime she cries, we did that to you and you were always quiet...you (and your sisters) were such good children, I used to spy on you to see if you were awake in the morning and always caught you just lying there waiting patiently for me, most babies cry for their parents when they wake up'. That's my mum, ignorant to the core still, it boils my blood because she still boasts about her amazing child rearing techniques. Just for context me and younger sister have suffered from severe depression and anxiety all our lives, and older sister is a complete narcissist with anger issues.

[mfinchina__]

It's amazing how fast little kids can progress if they're saved from a neglectful environment in time. I volunteered in a small orphanage in China and the director came back with two blind kids from a large institution. They were both four and could neither walk nor talk. At the new orphanage where they got more personalized care and interaction with volunteers, within four months, the boy with a normal brain was starting to walk and say simple words. The girl who was missing part of her brain turned to not actually be blind, just very withdrawn from neglect. She progressed quickly too, beginning to walk and respond to her name. Within a year, the boy was running around, talking and singing. At age seven he's learning piano. The girl can now walk around, say simple words and is much less fearful.

[r.d.w.molenkamp]

I grew up in the 80s in the Netherlands, having a story which is simular to this one. My mom just wanted a daughter, not a son, and our government allowed me to be put into such a boarding school since I was 5 yrs old. Lots of bad stuff happened there, and Im these days still being under heavy trauma treatment (emdr), distrusting basically everyone and having a lot of anxiety issues. I can confirm this theory is very true, and I hope that anyone who reads this or watches this video doesn't do the same to their kids, or warn anyone who might think of doing the same to their kids. Thank you, Sprouts, for making and sharing this video. This is the 1st time in my life I actually see someone shining a light on this matter, and Im seriously thankful that you did. May there come a day that these horrible facilities will be closed..

[KM-bndg]

So many stress hormones… I’m 25 now. “For life” isn’t an understatement. I have thyroid disease now and early stages rheumatoid arthritis which all ties into complications with long term high cortisol levels. I used to always wonder where my incessant need to self stimulate when I’m sad/stressed came from. It finally made sense to me recently. All of it roots back to being a neglected baby. I try not to be resentful, but it’s hard when my entire adult life now revolves around coping with the repercussions.

[Kelly-oekr]

My mother would leave me in my crib all day while she went to work or partying. No one changed me, feed me, played with me all day. I often wonder if he was surprised when she finally came home to see I was still alive. Not surprisingly I had no attachment at all with her, I now have multiple mental illnesses due to the early and subsequent abuse and neglect. Raising a child is more than keeping a roof over their head, clothes on their back, and food in their belly, children have emotional needs too! The consequences of neglectful parenting are catastrophic for the child. If you don’t want kids or can’t be bothered to take care of them DON’T have them!

[MNms-nygl]

I've read some horror stories about Romanian orphanages including one about a infant who was beginning to show signs of failing to thrive due to a lack of human touch or interaction which is an early sign of premature death. The infant was given into the care of a char woman known for carrying infants around with her on her hip or back as she did her chores. This is what she did with this baby and after awhile, the child began to thrive from the simple act of human touch and the skills that physical communication produces. Rather amazing, I thought but how horrible for all of those less fortunate children.

[CovertExpertiseArtiMarziali]

I was pretty much neglected as a child due to my parents being very harsh and busy with work. I always had all the things i've wanted as a child and i was being taken care of when needed. So yeah, i could say a 2/3 on points.
I am today chronically anxious and always over-thinking.
Hug your kids people.

[el]

I think it's a vicious cycle when it comes to neglect and abuse. I know my parents love me but because they never showed much affection, now I'm pretty cold. I literally can't remember the last time I hugged someone. It was some time before the pandemic. It does mess you up mentally. Now affection is a form of weakness to me. If I need love it means that I'm weak.

[leavemealone]

I was severely neglected as a child, and ironically it was because my parents were always busy working to give me a confortable life. I would stay alone for weeks, and even my own love was trying to be bought. Is weird I never realized how neglected I was, simply because I lived a confortable life

[tieppham]

I am a father of a two-weeks daughter and I believe all dire consequences of neglecting children as you've given, so I am trying my best to spend as much time and love as possible to raise my daughter.
Anw, your content is much helpful!

[morganleanderblake]

I feel like a lot of us grew up in families where it wasn't clear that we needed these things. I remember in the 80s as a kid they would tell parents that children were being "manipulative" by crying. Kids are perfectly capable of manipulation, but when I was three I wasn't manipulating my mother, I was hungry, and she had an eating disorder and projected it on me. There were a lot of nonsense "norms" heaped on parents over the years.

[fakiriayoub]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[pandoraalberts]

I have had this too. Was supposed to be a boy, no parental attention so no education or proper nutrition, abuse, poverty, etc etc. I don't trust people or like their company, but have taken some very positive conclusions from this awful start in life: Do it yourself. No one will help you so you have to be tough, independent and without self-pity. As long as you breathe, you have the strength to walk away from a bad situation. Family is not always your family, friends can become your brothers and sisters. And just because you never received love doesn't stop you loving yourself. I rescue neglected and abused animals, I have plenty of love and happiness in my life now.. when you find yourself at rock bottom, find something you can give to someone else. There is always somebody worse off than you. Lots of love to you all and blessings on your path of healing. The world does have it's special place for you.

[ittybittykittymama]

My poor husband actually has a flat area on the back of his skull because his mother never picked him up when he was a baby. She also left his first baby shoes on him for too long, not changing to larger sizes as he grew, resulting in his feet being cramped and misshapen.

Even now, as a grown man, his feet are always painful and he has difficulty finding shoes that don't hurt him.

He also does not like to be touched and is emotionally distant, even from those he loves. His adult children are estranged from him because they don't think he cares for them. He does care, very much, but he just does not have the social skills needed to show it!

He has told me that his parents told him that they only had to educate, clothe and feed him, not love him. He said they were distant and cold, more like drill sergeants than parents.

Poor guy, he would have been better off if he was raised by wolves!

I have tried to help him, but I don't know how. I have stopped wanting him to show me love. I know it's there, it's just buried in his pain. He won't even hold my hand!

[nomaticors]

It was a revelation in my life when I realized in my 20s I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. I haven't seen my dad in 7 years but still have nightmares about him. I have mental health issues and a hard time accepting love. My boyfriend has been so patient with me through it.

[aleksandramichalska]

Having child/kids means big responsibility because you MUST give a lots of love, take care little babies everyday and you must be good example for them. Some people should not be parents at all because they can't love. I have good parents but I know how many kids/adults have trauma because of bad behaviour in their past- childhood's past.

[disabledandproud]

I experienced emotional neglect as well as physical, emotional and s**ual abuse growing up.
It has caused me to feel as though everything was my fault, even if there’s no logical reason for it. It made me not trust others, and I even developed mutism in many settings.
The only place I felt open to speak really was with my father in his apartment or in his car; as he was the one person I felt I could trust.
My “mom” and her husband couldn’t be bothered with me.
I’m going on 10 years now with therapy and I’m only now starting to come to terms with the idea it wasn’t my fault. That I am not to blame for every family problem, past present or future. That I have something to offer the world.
And honestly, even though I have a long way to go, this idea that I did nothing wrong and did not deserve to be treated in this way, is freeing.

[ambikakaushik]

As a neglected child I agree with so much of this. The worst thing is if you become a dysfunctional adult due to the above mentioned reasons it's very difficult to communicate this to other people. And people are not usually kind anyway. I have been humiliated so much for my anti social traits, I didn't choose to be this person. My life experience made me so. I am a single child and come from an okay income family where my mother worked full time and father was at home. He wasn't ready to deal with my responsibility so I mainly stayed in day cares and boardings. Wasn't able to build a bond with either parents. Was abused at day cares and boarding. Had no friends or a sibling. What kind of wholesome adult would have I grown into ?