Re-Parenting - Part 12 - Inner Child - Part 1

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Many find inner child work to be an important part of their journey of healing from trauma. But what are people referring to when they talk about their inner child?

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[awakenedreflections]

A million words couldn't express my gratitude for this series.

[leeboo]

What I notice with a lot of the clients that I work with that have a wounded inner child is that they are stuck in "perpetual tantrum/acknowledge my pain" mode. Repetitively returning to their neglectors (usually their parents & family) over and over and over again. They essentially get stuck in a loop of staying frozen at a younger age, stomping their foot, BEGGING and insisting their neglectors step it up and acknowledge them. I myself used to embody that. Up until about age 40 all I could do was attempt to "out" my narcissistic mother and enabling father, and try to force/beg/make them acknowledge my pain and parent me the right way. In this state I displayed many personality traits and perceptions that were that of a 12-16 year old as well.
The way I overcame this and what I help my therapy clients with now is this:
1) STOP standing there stomping your foot, tantruming, insisting and forcing your low-empathy neglectors to actually give AF about you. They don't. Radically accept that you are beating a dead and unresponsive horse. Your neglectors couldn't handle your feelings then and they still can't. You have to Radically accept that begging and insisting your neglectors to nurture you is utterly pointless.
2) It's time to grow up. I know how harsh and insensitive that sounds but as someone who's wounded inner child navigated my life and screwed up my life, trust me. Sometimes we need to be gentle but firm with this immature part of ourselves. My wounded inner child became very immature and entitled over time. By the time I was in my 30s this part of me was ruling my life and, just like an actual 12 year old, kind of had a hard time recognizing that the world didn't revolve around me.
3) RE-PARENTING. This 100%. It's time to start taking care of yourself and listening to yourself. It's also time to find support through therapy and support groups. It's also time to find supportive friends that actually care about you and your feelings. And it's Also time to recognize that as an adult, the people in your life want to have a relationship with Adult-You, not little you.

[michaelsager]

All of these videos have been so above and beyond anything I could have hoped to expect. This one has been very enlightning. Thank you Tim!

[Heidi_K_Girl_]

What a gift you have given the world through your love and care to serve God and help us heal. God Bless you!

[JuliaShalomJordan]

This series has been helping me so much. God bless you.❤

[JS-govt]

John Bradshaw was a brilliant man. I had the opportunity to attend one of workshops. Very powerful work. I’m grateful to him and his work. ❤

[marta.bochenek]

when I'm listening to this part, i realized that basically whole me was rejected, i was not able to be myself, just do, think and act as i was told to please others, cause others were more important then me ( that's what i remember) and not to disturb
today - being adult with no idea who i am,

Tim thank you for all this ! massive library of information, you really have a gif of presenting complex topic in understandable way ! bless you and your team 🙏

[excellentchoices]

I’m 31 minutes in and wow…. Wow…. Thank you……Thank you for all I’m learning….. I’m looking forward to learning the “healing steps “ when I get to listen next … thank you for explaining things so clearly…. I’m trusting God through the hard and the easy and what a gift from God you are … thank you….

[valeriebutler]

I've never felt so understood, even by myself. I take a lot of this material in and work through it with my therapist. A million thanks to Mr. Fletcher for creating and sharing this series for free. You're truly an example of God's love for us all ❤

[Kiki-mtiz]

The message on Boaz and Ruth is so beautiful. Thank you

[amberbryan]

I need to put on some serious work... For sure...this is making me SUPER DEPRESSED 😢😮

THANK YOU FOR THIS❤

[djlykaen]

For those that don't get it, check out The Kid (bruce willis movie) really gave an image of what the relationship with the inner child could be

[emiliorodriquez]

Thank you for saving my life every day

[kristenmerrill-nldh]

So nice to see your subscriber numbers moving up!! I’ve always been surprised your videos are not exploding on you tube because your gift of explaining these topics is unmatched!

[jacoyat]

This video popped up to me right in the midst of a time where EVERYTHING he said applied :/ wow.. grateful for this.

[sunnygirl]

So glad I’ve come across your videos! Thank You so much for helping others to Heal with these videos. ❤❤❤

[courtneylove]

This is a great video! I love learning the ‘why’ behind my cptsd struggles. Emdr has allowed me to really connect to my inner child-in ways I never thought possible. It began as the saddest thing I’ve ever experienced but it’s morphed into one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. After 8 months of emdr I’m almost done, and moving into my next phase of healing. Thank you for your amazing content!

[emusic]

Many thanks from NW Wisconsin on Lake Superior. ☃️

[Courgette]

I feel that being a ‘defiant child’ has been beneficial to my inner child

[ThabangKaotsane-hmwf]

Production and animation are both ideal for all my projects since I rap, sing and write inspiring stories.