Re-Parenting - Part 6 - Encouragement

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In order for a child to develop in a healthy way, they need much encouragement. Complex Trauma families breed discouragement. Re-parenting self involves learning to encourage self and others.

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DISCLAIMER:
Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.

[abdallahmatongo]

Tim is one of the best human being i know. Am humbled to find him online. God bless him.

[pinargeneci]

I remember being at work and saying I can’t do this- my then manager saying. There’s no such thing as I can’t- hasn’t your mum ever told you this. The right word is I CAN. I remember feeling really sad, as I was never encouraged despite always seeking love and support and validation from my parents- whatever I did as an invisible child was never good enough.

[marthawhite]

En + coeur = "put heart into, " put strength into. De + coeur = "take heart away." Former Latin teacher here ! I think this is why abusers won't ever encourage their targets, because they know it will give them strength. And instead tear you down, and try and take away your heart, or strength. : /

Thank you so much Tim!

[adimeter]

Ohno. My parents never sat down & listened to me...just did not happen. I can remember at 14 yo I was in my room. I was quietly crying, wondering why I was so alone. Now at 74 I am getting the answers.

[adimeter]

That is me ... from discouragement to hopeless. Never had much encouragement.

[Vladimyrful]

That ratio of negative to positive events seems painfully true. I've recieved no encouragement at all as a child (from my parents at least). I wonder if it's even more skewed as an adult now because I've noticed I require MANY "victories" under stressful situations to get only a morcel of an increase in confidence but only ONE negative event or "defeat" to set me back massively.

[gulliver]

Thank you Tim. I did feel a bit disappointed though because the series is cale Re-parenting and it is actually on parenting. Learning to encouragement oneself through discouraging times would have felt validating.

[lunarose]

I can't even comprehend a healthy parent existing. That hurts to realise. 😢

[tanyatiffin]

Wow, you just keep speaking my story. Thank you so much! God bless you.

[GoddessHabits]

Geeze i need 4billion positive events to balance out this shiz.

[veenakrishna]

Really wonderful. It's nice to hear examples with suitable replies .

[selilatte]

I'm ashamed, but the truth is, I come from such a dysfunctional and abusive family, I became bitter and angry towards my mum. It hurts my heart, but I'm having so much trouble being kind to her now, knowing the truth, a lot unfolded over the last three years which showed she was manipulative. I'm so angry, but my three year old daughter loves her and the guilt of taking off, far away to not see each other daily, is so real and heavy on my heart.

[Muttan]

Thank you so much for your service in teaching us this. Please never stop doing this series. I need you in my life ❤️

[adimeter]

I did definitely quit. Three yrs of college and I became discouraged and quit. My mom never asked me why. She just cried. I wanted help paying my tuition, as was sleepy and tired from school and work. My mom only cried. She never knew why I quit. She put herself thru college. But I was not that strong. The result is a lifetime of regret at never having finished.

[Elle]

I just googled “How to depend on God” because I literally have no idea other than a sort of fatalistic taking what comes. To see that a parent is supposed to encourage showed me that is what God does (along with other loving parenting traits). I think I assumed my parents were encouraging me when they weren’t actively causing me pain in the moment.

[EarInn]

This is so helpful. Thank you for putting it out into the world.

[Fred-iihu]

I absolutely love these videos! Thank you sooo much Tim! I feel extremely compelled to disagree on the abortion issue....
If you could sit on a park bench with Jesus and tell him about the pregnancy, I can't see him advocating for the ending of a life. I know he would forgive, but out of his Love he would make a way for life. A life is a life, a very valuable life, no matter the age or residence (internal or external). Jesus would never make agreement with the ultimate form of child abandonment. In Him, there is a way to be loving and supportive of the mother AND the father AND the child. I might be misunderstanding what Tim is saying here, but I feel this Truth must be said regardless.

[JMSsssssss]

Great job illustrating the importance of encouragement and the impact of discouragement. I wish there was some guidance on how to reparent oneself. Maybe I missed it. I'll listen again

[spiritualitatepractica]

This is an amazing work and thank you for that. But why do you think so many parents were so imature, why they didn't care about their own children and didn't have any love inside and any drop of consciousness? Could you make a video about it, please? Was it because they lack the information or because they were raised like that? Or because they were not attuned to their own hearts or maybe they didn't care about their hearts at all? Maybe it doesn't even matter. Maybe all that matters is to heal. Thank you!

[yeni]

This is excellent information guidance 👍 this is love