Avoidant WOMEN - Can they make a romantic relationship work? The Attachment Specialist explains...

Join this channel to get access to perks:

If you enjoyed this video and want more content like this, do me a favor: be sure to hit that like button, leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel!

Share it with your friends, and hit that notification bell so you never miss an update. 🛎️ Let's grow this amazing community together! 🚀

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

The 4 Attachment Styles Guide - Free! 📥

If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.

Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

[lovejoypeacegoodness]

This conversation is so healing. Thank-you so much!

I never understood why I never felt clingy and anxious like other women. Always ready to walk straight out the door, shove those feelings down the garbage disposal, and move on. Always had men chasing me and never understood why. Now I'm understanding.

The typical advice given to women is to stop chasing and stop being clingy. Do something else with your time, have hobbies, go out. Stop the drama, stop talking, and giving too much to men. None of which I could relate to. None of this resonates with me.

I am very feminine here, love holding down the household and domestic labor, but definitely very much in control of my feelings and attachments. Very quick to close doors, block and delete. Business owner too ~ don't like being told what to do and how to think, so masculine too.

I've learned a lot from you, Adam. Keep on helping us avoidant women cause no one else is or gets us.

[jencrews]

Oh good Lord Adam! I was already getting bowled over by how much it feels like you’re in my head and then when you said - “Why did you buy flowers? We could’ve used that money to buy ammunition for the zombies!” I laughed out loud and I’m still laughing.

[brunoribeiro]

Spot on. 100% my case. Sometimes it feels like climbing the Everest naked, without any equipment. Thank you so much for providing the tools.

[wf]

A masculine man with whom I can rest and be safe - yes, that would be a relief. Very well put. Also this taste of oxytocin we can get (more likely from someone manipulative) is real - and then we fear to loose it, but that is something different from the fear of abandonment ... spot on.
Interesting!

[katherinesheers]

Wow, avoidant woman here and you are spot on!

[Arquebusier]

I am grateful for finding your channel at the right time and at the right moment. Nothing but grateful. You provided the identification of the problem and the inner whys. For me now, I need to find a solution and how to progress in my relationship seeking.

[newfreedom]

Very important video, this EXACTLY describes the woman I have been trying to connect with for 20 years, but I could never get her to date me, I really needed this info 20 years ago, but I will try with new knowledge, thanks so much

[ndndndnnduwjqams]

Thanks for talking about avoidant woman

[Adriana.Gabriela]

Oh wow. So then I never went disorganized, but had the reaction you mentioned. That makes so much more sense.

If I still have it, I guess I'm not as secure as I thought I was. Still went a long way, though A lot of progress

[Drosa]

My connection with my daughter is very secure. I love her like I’ve loved no other person.

[Practitionher]

Yayy. Former DA here . Learning myself has helped me have more patience for others .

[tylerledgerwood]

You are practically describing Leonards Mom from Big bang theory

[Sunlightsam]

Yep, lost my dad at 15 and he was sick a lot of the before he passed, and had probably an avoidant mother, tough relationship and she resented me for what I did as a teenager til I was in my 50s. I’m now in a relationship with someone for 2+ years, he intuitively has known how to handle me lol, and I see the differences in myself. I also want to continue to be a better partner for him ❤️

[Adriana.Gabriela]

Having more masculine energy - yup, I was told by multiple friends (men and women) that I'm mentally a guy when I was a teen and my 20s 😅 now I do think I am more feminine since becoming more secure. I have been told so by a friend, but I still feel like I'm not feminine enough 🙈

I also own a business hahahha. But I have always been a hopeless romantic. Movie/show-wise, I love romance and chick flicks almost as much as murder and detective shows 🤣

But I've always attracted avoidant men. Actually anxious were attracted to me too, but I didn't see them as masculine 😅

Omg, the bedroom comment is spot on 😅 (was)

Died at the needs part 🤣 I should just stop adding to my comment bcs pretty much everything is spot on

[StephanieStults]

I started life as a secure... over time on the inside i feel like i am an anxious.... but i think i present as an avoidant. I feel like i was anxious but over time have had to act as avoidant as possible as a defense mechanism. Both myself and my fiance are disorganized... but we are workling on it

[gedwardproudfoot]

Adam, man, love your stuff, truly. Also love the tone, happy and upbeat. Kudos.

However, there’s another side to this which is when said DA / Anxious etc is making decisions and actions selfishly and hurtfully, and it’s hurting people… including children. But make no mistake they expect respect and courtesy in return. It’s a one way street.

‘I’m a DA so I am excused from hurting people’ - nah.

‘ I grew up with violence so my violence is ok’ - nah.

See. Not ok.

All people, DA included, need to take ownership of how they treat others. But they struggle here. Big time.

If you are an adult, and are treating people poorly, take a look at yourself, and grow as a person.

Tell me I’m wrong.

[MyShapeofmyHeart]

secure with Fearful avoidant girlfriend. were talking again after she has left 4 times. so far i think im doing well since listening to how to love avoidant woman.

[nothingspecific]

In my anecdotal experience, you are way underestimating the amount of avoidant women out there.

[hspinnovators]

I think its sad too because society really rewards avoidance in women. Financially, red pill protection etc

[marquintawalker]

I am an avoidant woman in a relationship with a secure man