How to Heal Avoidant Attachment

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[TheHolisticPsychologist]

#selfhealers, These steps practiced consistently will truly help to heal this attachment style. Let me know if you have any questions or feedback in the comments-- I'm always listening, Nicole

[ThePolaris]

This explains my Avoidant ex perfectly. They always assumed the relationship would end, every single day they were constantly expecting me to break up with them, so they would never fully commit and they would sabotage the relationship, then cry because they did want it to work, but couldn't help themselves. Thanks for the video.

[bernadettemeade]

Each time I meditate I end up in floods of tears...definitely fearful avoidant. Get flooded with high anxiety and feelings of being trapped in relationships with men. I feel I need to go slowly..sometimes jump in too fast, frighten myself. I say to men let me come to you, I need to take my time, then they turn up with gifts or want to spend lots of time together... i feel pressured and overwhelmed by their needs.

[littlegreenbean]

when she said that about body awareness is important to feelings, i felt that. It’s so much easier to avoid the emotions when you detach yourself from the body. Thats why my mind goes completely blank when im emotionally overwhelmed in a social situation. It’s easier to pretend im okay that way. But im beginning to realize there are repercussions to such behavior so now i plan on following her tips and change ways. Thank you for this!

[Joedeee]

Really appreciate the focus on fixing and healing instead of drudging up the past which keeps us stuck!

[CrabRangoonSortaGuy]

I was smoking weed for 2 years straight to cope with trauma from childhood. I quit a few weeks ago and clarity really hits you like a brick when you're bored and sober. It wasn't until I heard about avoidant attachment that SO much stuff made more sense. I thought I might legitimately have low grade autism because I was that bad at identifying and expressing my OWN feelings.

[anagarciadedios]

I just want to say thank you. The books and the videos that I’ve read/watched focus on how people with dismissive avoidance personalities can improve their relationship with others. But the fail to mention how to improve and heal. All the exercises that they mention is with another people and I need to do the work with just me. I don’t know if I’m making sense. What I’m trying to say is that you gave me just that. Tips on how I and I alone can help me (maybe this is me being dismissive lol). Thank you. I’m going to work hard to be a better person and to be able to open up and trust others.

[tzubuod]

i feel suffocated when someone tries to be intimate with me like im under water or something

[monicatomlinson]

I felt every emotion I feel when trying to have a relationship, as I was listening to you! Its not going to be easy but I shall try to do as you say as it makes sense. Phew! Thank you!

[sakuranovaryan]

I've led most of my life guilt ridden and afraid of disappointing others. Couldn't express myself since early childhood. Now I can't really talk to others. It's hard to show emotions.

[brumbybailey]

Wow. I just realised one reason why horses are so helpful for healing; they really help me to FEEL.

[densingangelicaczarinam.]

You have no idea how this single video is very helpful for my healing at the moment. Thank you.

[leanne]

I struggle to really feel my emotions (I feel mostly clouded & numb), so it’s difficult to recognise how I’m feeling. is there a way to begin feeling again?

[daniellehedger]

I felt anxious just listening to her talking about reconnecting 🥵

[parkerbradley]

You and Dr. K have both explained this very well, and I find that you are two of the only mental health professionals online spreading positive and helpful messages on the subject instead of misinformation and half-truths. Thank you so much for that!

[devanjali.b]

This was very helpful, thank you. Most of the content out there is more about identifying rather than working with this style once you recognise you might have it. This really gave me a head start on how to go about it.

[heidiv]

Your videos are pure gold for those of us on a healing journey. So much gratitude for you.

[ayesatta]

Thank you! Simple steps...be gentle to myself while doing the work!

[xoelvia]

I just discovered this has been my attachment style went down a rabbit hole and landed on this video. THANK YOU 🙏🏼

[SonjaG]

Love all your work! The only road to healing is through conscious awareness... My mom is an avoidant on the extreme side, (would probably classify as having an avoidant personality disorder) never able to connect with me or even my dad or even her friends other than superficial topics. She is now in her 70s and is a nightowl - I think it's less painful for her to be alone all night. Her parents were very strict and her dad emotionally put her down and I think abused her (I think he was narcissistic, sadistic and she was the black sheep), and I think she learnt to have very strong boundaries to look after herself as number 1 at all times (which I perceived to be a lack of love, so I concluded love is no boundaries - an incorrect view I've since healed from that, but that's another story)... She's very out of touch with her emotions and even though she has strong boundaries, she is very passive aggressive with my dad (they both seem to actively sabotage each other's happiness by withholding what the other one wants). I married an avoidant (a trauma bond for sure), who also is out of touch with his emotions, and can't express his needs, instead acts passive aggressively to get them met. Both seems to have blocked their needs for connection... Rationally I can't believe I repeated my childhood! But we met when I was 21, and connected very well for the first year, which may have been an act and I had my romantic blinkers on... I would love to hear some advice on how to handle these 2 loved ones that might help them unblock that connection block? My marriage is a very lonely one, where my connection needs aren't met (I've only recently started listening to my emotions, which before was ignored completely)... and I have to put our 2 young girls first, trying to create the healthiest family environment for them through healing myself (my top priority).