Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers. #narcissist #npd #narcissisticfather #narcabuse #mentalhealth

[stBorn]

Very true, and I think the probability is also very high if both parents are narcs...one covert.. one overt... Being a ppl pleaser to both parents can be very challenging. It's been a lot to deal with, but it has taught me the hard way to set boundaries stand firm on them and what to avoid in relationships

[lipstickprincess]

Yelled at.
Beaten.
Cursed it.
Belittled.
Abandoned.
Hugged his other daughters but kept me at arms length.
It took me 57 years to leave those people but thank God that I left.
🙏🏼

[spacegirl]

100%. Happened to me. I married a man just as cold and distant as my father. I thought all the neglect and belittling was normal, and I put up with it for far longer than I should have.

After my divorce and all the subsequent figuring-it-out, I realized my father and my ex husband were almost identical. The more I learned, the more I saw how my father treated my mother was the same stuff my ex husband had done to me. And worse, their parents had done to them.

Generational cycles are real. But I'm breaking that, even if I'm the last one with no legacy to leave behind. And it's hard because the abusers don't understand why I'm "different" or have "changed" and view me as the problem, as I have always been.

Ugh. Thank you, Jill. This is difficult stuff to come to terms with.

[jeffmillar]

Thank god my daughter spent her first five years of life with her mother as the experts say the first two years of life imprint the most stay blessed 🙏

[kaystephens]

Spot on as usual. And future partners figure out very quickly what you'll tolerate and put up with and that "you won't mind", thinking of theirs.. Where eventually, they can just do whatever they want to. Just like their Dad did. Always get their way and get away with it in their behavior. I saw this in my ex, and that's why I made the choice to leave with my sons. Because I knew this behavior would never, ever stop. And as my sons are now adult men, I do see some of the same traits of their Dad in them. They saw it, but they know better. This is where their sense of entitlement comes from, people. In Lundy Bancroft's conclusion, this behavior is learned from their asshole daddy's behavior and the roles they put their mamas in. This modeling had to come from the "Betty Crocker"days of the wife slaving in the kitchen, while the Dad sat around and was waited on hand abd foot like a king. That's what my grandmother did and eventually, her son, my uncle who took charge over his sisters life when my father died. I was a young child. I just didn't know who was in charge in my childhood. But now that I'm older, I see what I was blinded not to see, by my weak, useles adopted mother. That was a very dangerous stunt to pull with an innocent trusting child. Only my cousins were "good enough". This head game is at the root of so many people's mental confusion. It's about power over other people lives. And that's your boundary. Anyone who makes you feel less important, get away from them. Permanently. Because they will always believe that they are "More", valuable than you are. Nothing will ever change that dillusional, inaccurate belief. My cousins were spoiled. And so were their children. But if you can see the inadequate feelings they deliberately put in you, on you, you will see that you have the advantage. You see, you give it back by cutting all ties to them and put all belief in Your Self. Period. Any parent that does not defend and protect their child is no parent at all. That's just the main part of the sacrifice to show you love somebody else in this world. My adopted mother was an emotional cripple. And that's just sad. And once they pass on, you really see the game they played to give other people what you needed they just never cared about. That's how you let them go. Because they were just Cowards. Mine was. And if she were still alive, I would have left and never come back to be her victim. That was the truth and that is what emotionally abusive people really are doing. Are mean and sadistic.Casting off their shame of themselves onto you. Because you're dependent upon them, unfortunately. They're really wimps, people. Too scared to face their real abuser. And every person I meet, I now know to not trust automatically. Especially the most charming. People are not naturally "nice". There's a quote in the Bible that says somewhere that your true friends are honest. Not nice. Don't let other people dump their problems on you back. Especially your parent's problems. Your purpose is to take care of yourself first. And No parent has the right to ever hurt their child like mine did me. This subject really touches my heart to anyone with a sorry parent like this truly was. Look at your parents as the possible reason for any self doubt about "Who you are". Nobody ever gets to tell you who that is but You and God. "I've excused myself from her family. As ever even knowing them. They were someone I never ever really knew. Isn't that something to be proud of. Don't be afraid to question if somebody really loves you. Love is a sacrifice I never saw with that family and its only a miracle of My God that I ever survived all of that pack of Liars. Watch the movie "Seize the Day". The perfect depiction of my mother as a parent who never commited to her child's needs. Only to the needs of "The Familys", shame.

[maryannpucci]

How do I change that? I've been alone for 22 years because of exactly what you are talking about.

[bostonbutterfly]

I was too damaged to ever sustain a normal relationship. Never married, never had kids. However, I was never so happy as when I lived alone for those few decades.
Unfortunately, that ended at 42 when I became legally disabled and was pretty much forced to live w my narc parent again. While I’m grateful to have a roof over my head, it feels like I’ve regressed back to the 80’s. At times, I feel like that helpless child again...except, this time around I’m much more educated and can cope a lot better. Thank you Jill for all the validations & tools you’ve given me. ❤

[lilalov]

My narcs daughter is a 1000 percent more than he is . Destroys every relationship shebis in and mine and her Dad to get hom back to her mother . The worse of them all

[maryannpucci]

I'm a Straight Alpha female, my father was the Narcissist 3 girls 1 boy. I'm the 1st Born, he was 3rd. Very Dysfunctional family.

[daughterofsarah]

Yes my late dad and I married one. Very hard. I will always have a broken heart over my Dad. Always. It’s my lot I guess😢

[colette]

THANK GOD that did not happy to me...I got so lucky! My husband is the best person in the world! Lucky I tell you

[Amanda.Marie]

Mother can be a road block to this no? If she sees the narc father and does the opposite for the daughter ??

[juliadean]

Or if treated as a golden child can copy the narc' father and dismiss and disrespect the abused mother.

[johedges]

I DELIBERATELY sought and was attracted to men you were the polar opposite of my heinous father. My husband was a good man and the most incredible narc father sought to break him as he had done me.

[Aochic]

Not if I can help it!!!! She identifies that her dad is not normal and acts bizarrely, so I think we'll be ok.

[SoniaProteau-cjtk]

It s because my father decided everything for me since 2020, but now he s in old folk home, it s been challenging but I made it