Are You Passive Aggressive?

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[deathface]

If there was a Passive Aggression Olympics, my family would bring home ALL the gold medals.

[ehalv]

Fear! I think some people don't want to say whats bothering them because they are fearful of the resulting conversation that will happen.

[sophiadavenport]

My passive aggression comes from being emotionally abused by my mother, if I reveal my true feelings I'm afraid someone will respond the way my mother does.

[kajohsnon]

I’m guilty of this... I think I do it in order to avoid possible confrontations. I also don’t like drawing attention to myself. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ .. I wish I could change it .

[caadam]

Passive aggression was one of the main communication styles I learned when I was growing up. I had parents who didn't know how to talk to each other and express their own feelings; they expected the other party to just know what was going on, which isn't fair.

I learned the it's really all based in fear, in a way. When we don't know how to handle our own emotions, we project them outwards and hope someone else can get a grip on it, which isn't fair and can be very toxic. Especially when you do it to a child, like what was done to me.

I didn't really understand my passive aggressive attitude for a long time and still struggle with it. It helped me to navigate the abusive environment I grew up in but now it only hinders me. Nowadays, I do my best to explain why I feel what I feel, but I can tell with most people, it makes them uncomfortable. I've no doubt it's because it's a way of communicating they're not used to, from others and even within themselves.

[sashalloyd]

When I act in a passive aggressive way it's definitely my anxiety talking. I usually don't feel safe to express my discomfort and often feel as though I need to handle it on my own. Passive agressive characters? My first thought was Ross on friends. Probably because he acts for the same reasons I do 😋

[jaimecaroleledford]

I think sometimes I just don't feel like having drama in my life and want to be quiet and mind my business. There are people who you can't trust and who don't support you when you have changed your life and you are just tired of arguing.

[acjuan]

My problem is that I don't voice my emotions out of fear of being judged and to avoid confrontations.

[adamgreenhill]

I often act passive aggressively towards my parents - because they never support me with my mental illness. They're like emotional brick walls. But I don't know how to fully express how I feel to them, so I keep subtly trying to show it like this, and it only makes me feel worse! So you're right, I need to practise saying how I feel to people. Thanks!

[AzulonKaiba]

I was really that kind of person. I still struggle with because my parents are emotional abusers so I have some strategies to deal with them while I work on something to move away from them. I want to grow but they don't (probably never will) and they don't want to let neither. It's time to work hard against every obstacle. Very informative Kati :)

[_just_TK]

If/when the sequel to Inside/Out is made, Pixar should add a character named “Passive Aggressive Susie”

[honor]

I tend talk myself out of my feelings, by saying that im wrong and im sorry, thank you for speaking about this Kati I honestly didnt know anything about this <3

[emperorincxt]

I think Dean Winchester from Supernatural has a lot of passive aggressive moments. He does a lot of the stoic "I don't care, do what you want" stuff when it's obvious that he does care a lot. Thanks for this video ❤

[GlenHunt]

We need an "auto-like" feature for people like Kati!

Years ago I realized I was driving my friends away because of my passive aggression, and realized that I learned the behavior from my father. Since then, I've axed both from my life. :)

[coltmcguire]

The lack of honesty towards one another is all consuming. I try to understand how therapists in particular still believe there’s hope for humanity. All the power to you. Wishing you all the best, far far away from human beings. I truly don’t understand. Then, they breed. It’s insane.

[CR]

I once had a really passive aggressive room-mate, and I sat her down and made her tell me directly what was bothering her. I listened without interrupting and I took responsibility where I needed to. Afterwards, I thanked her for talking to me and asked her "Do you feel the same, better, or worse?" She reluctantly admitted that she felt better. Then I asked her to remember that for the next time she was upset.

[alextynes]

I’ve lived my life not knowing I was always passive aggressive until a good love one pointed out that flaw in me

[jimmy_b_wp]

I am a very likeable person. And in moments that would I disagree with something, I try to still be "likeable" and not hurt people's feelings even if my feelings were hurt.

[ladymaiden]

I am so proud of everyone in the comments section who is able to admit they have been passive aggressive. I definitely have the luxury of being able to be as communicative as I am because I'm no longer a child of my parents house, and I wish it would have been safe to do that when I was a child too. passive aggression drives me nuts because it seems like it's hard enough to all be on the same page even with honest communication! But the passive aggressive family members I still have to deal with would never have the courage of you guys to admit it, so I salute all of you and wish my family had your integrity. They probably would not have even watch this video based on the title. so there is hope for some of us! I should probably accept that some people will never change and stop spinning my tires with my family.

[jennaholt]

I really struggle with my passive aggression. I want to learn to be more assertive. I have gotten better with speaking my mind, I try to do it in a loving way and be gentle but also assertive. This does not come easy especially when you don’t want confrontation, but it is important to speak the truth out of love for yourself and the other person.