Are you associated with someone who is passive aggressive?

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[Joyfillied]

So….a couple things on this: 1) My hubby is very sweetly & patiently assertive whenever I get all negative/quiet & stuff….2) DO NOT give up!! Some people learned passive aggressive behaviors from the adults (and/or peers) around them who were like that, some learned that being direct with their emotions was just not safe (either emotionally, physically, or a combination), etc…if you very clearly express something along the lines of “you hurt me with this action/attitude/these words/etc.” & the response is “Well you shouldn’t have…” / “You could’ve listened the first time, then I wouldn’t have…” / or any other invalidating phrases, then you have to figure out creative ways to let the person know they hurt you & that becomes a basic habit of communication…none of the examples are healthy, but that’s the point…by being kind & patient AND direct/assertive, you help create new patterns of behavior/communication & that skill is invaluable. I get that I need better communication, but I can’t just read a book & magically communicate better…I have to practice it & have a safe place to be heard completely, not halfway.
Note…my later childhood years were quite good & safe and all, but no one is perfect…the imperfection here was inability to handle being in the wrong as the adult & it rubbed off on me as a kid…now I’m an adult who’s searching things like this out so I can be a different example to my own kiddos…not better or worse, just improved where I saw things lacking & probably worse somewhere else…but thankfully there’s things like apologies & humility. ❤

[scarletaria]

Ive definitely had to walk away from relationships like this. Recently, however, i did adress this head on with a coworker and it actually led to a very productive interaction.

[femmec]

I just realized my boyfriend is passive-aggressive when he doesn't get what he wants. I'm not sure we will make it.