Fearful Avoidance: To Start Healing, Learn To Do This

[karmaisanillusion]

“Your body doesn’t care how many psychological textbooks you’ve read”!!!! I read and learn but never apply when need to.I always thought I didn’t read enough!Thank you

[clancularius.t]

Some people think you can only build these skills in romantic relationships. You can build up these skills with acquaintances and friendships, as well.

[paniq_fnite]

In point. I thought I was all FA-healed after one year of studying, and one “trench” situation left me realizing: Oh, this will be a lifelong journey… got it. 😊

[aeriel]

I got so called out in this. I was definitely trying to heal through research 😅

[amandamilobooks]

Practice. It doesn't make perfect but practice makes progress. Practice makes improvement.

[starky]

This is so true. As an avoidant, I was recently triggered, and instead of shutting down, I took a minute to assess the situation and did not shut down.

[jonathanp___________]

This is the most approachable way of saying “You have to practice!” Or “Just do it.” that I think I’ve ever heard. It’s inspiring rather than demanding.

[stacey]

I feel the need to distance myself all the time but now I’m learning to pull myself closer to people slowly

[mammamonssterr]

We FAs don't even realize that trying to heal by learning while isolating IS a sign of avoidance. Even if we think we're doing something about it, we're "healing" alone from a place of fear.

[brittanyw]

“Has to be built in this trenches” I LOVE that ❤

[CuddleClaw.]

Thank you. I’ve been practicing this. The man I love has Dismissive Avoidant style and he just asked for space…. It doesn’t matter that my brain understands, my heart still feels devastated. Thank you for this video, it helps.

[Luna]

I did this today and I feel so proud! Instead of reverting to my pattern of expressing my anger through passive aggressiveness I actually was honest and worked through it!

[chilloften]

I’m glad you are confirming my experience.
I’m easily hijacked, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to be hijacked by others.

[jboy]

Thanks for posting this. I’m in a lot of pain on the regular due to my disorganized attachment. I’m just learning about this self regulation stuff. Some time I do well a lot of times I fail. My wife and I are in rapid cycles of FA/DA interactions. It is causing our rebounds to take longer and then we’re back at it. It terribly distressing. I feel like saying I don’t know what to do. But actually I do have a place to start. Regulating my triggered emotions and calming my body down. So I have a chance to think straight. Ugh. I’m so mad at my dad for hurting me so bad. My mind is chaos. I didn’t deserve to be hurt like I was. Children should never be hit or yelled at. Please parents reading this, don’t hit yer kids. It causes unbelievable life long damage.

[beermilkshake]

This is so true and relevant. It’s basically exposure therapy. Learning self-compassion is like learning a new language, and a difficult one at that. It takes years of practice so don’t give up.

[norwichyogacentral]

It’s only in a relationship that you get a true reflection of how you are.

[BeautyIsHerName]

Ma’am ! Stop telling me about myself please 😂

[koalamandk]

Fearful-Avoidant/INFP here, I usually just buy the psychology textbooks and put them in the bookcase without reading them. Saves me a lot of time.

[Gemisnotmyname]

the problem is I rate people low...while simateniously thinkin deep down..they cant possible like me or love for just me

[gypsyfiresign]

Omg you just explained the last 17.5 years. Never discard a Narcissist 😢