Setting Boundaries With People Who Talk Too Much

Learn to set boundaries with people who talk too much, demand too much of your time, or are overly negative. Some people won't shut up! But there are ways to set boundaries with kindness and authenticity, so you can reclaim your time and peace of mind. In this video, I discuss ways to handle people who talk too much and how to prioritize your own needs. #boundaries #compulsivetalking #talktoomuch #talking #overtalker #lopsidedrelationship

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Sharon Martin, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in codependency recovery with an online practice serving California residents. For the past 20 years, she’s been helping perfectionists and people-pleasers overcome self-doubt and shame, embrace their imperfections, learn to set boundaries, and reclaim their self-worth. Sharon writes the blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today and is the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and The Better Boundaries Workbook.

[nik]

I am a quiet ppl pleaser so these types are drawn to me like a moth to a flame. For this reason, I generally don't surround myself with others.

[tomb]

30 minutes? You’re way to kind! I can’t deal with these people for more than 5 minutes, I find myself becoming infuriated at their rudeness and have to remove myself from the monologue being delivered.

[sandra]

I've been in 6 hour long phone conversations entertaining this nonsense. I ended up drained and neglecting my own needs. I finally realized this is selfish behavior on my friend's end and now my limit is 30 minutes, once a day. Not hours for each day. I use the extra time to relax, study, work out and eat healthy. Listening to their daily updates/problems; along with stories about their past that you've heard several times before, seems to be common. It sucks the life out of you and you end up neglecting your own needs. Reclaim your life and if that energy vampire has a problem with that, then that's their problem. Not our job to baby grown adults.

[brighteastman]

I find it more difficult to escape from the talker when the encounter is face to face. I just walk away from the phone or do chores while the talker believes they have control of my ears. In person, however, the talkaholic requires that my eyes be on them for as long as they choose to spew. I recently was trapped for 6 hours, unable to tell her I was leaving because she just talked over me when uttered a sound

[LucaMuntz]

It’s honestly so refreshing to see how many people have struggled with this at least as much as I have.

[YOGO_MUSHI]

The older I get the more I cannot stand people who don’t know when to stop talking.

[sharhful]

Don’t feel bad setting boundaries the people taking too much don’t seem to consider you so...

[ArcWarrior]

Great video. It's even harder when it's someone who lives with you like a roommate or relative because you always feel ambushed. You go to get something out of your car and they're outside smoking. They have no life or ambitions. Then you get stuck into a 4 hour long conversation and you start regretting doing normal things like going to the bathroom because you'll run into them. And some people are masters and keeping the conversation going, talking loud over you when you try to end the discussion. It's such a headache.

[BL-rbjm]

Don't feel guilty for setting a boundary and don't let the other person make you feel guilty

[random]

After many years I have begun to apply this to my life. I value my quiet time more and more. Thank you for reinforcing.

[TomGvns]

The term I like to use is “hey I’d love to make this conversation balanced, do you mind if we can make this conversation more two sided?”

[arielle]

I love my mom but she is overly talkative and I'm an introvert so it really drains me

[kirasussane]

Thanks for this advice i have a family member that talks too much and sometimes is just very hard in fact I tend to avoid talking to her because I know I won't be able to say much.

[LucaMuntz]

I’ve recently gotten way better at if I can’t tell them to stop talking, just stop talking myself and let them work it out. I used to reaaally struggle with this and it’s still not easy as it feels rude, but thinking back, I’ve had this happen to me so many times! And i quickly accept, take the hint and move on when I realise they’ve stopped engaging! So the way I see it if they fail to see the obvious, that’s on them now 😌

[alaiaadam]

💥💥☄️💥☄️ *GREAT VIDEO !* A-Z

01:08 “ Hey marry I just wanna tell you upfront that I only have 5 mins”

01:48 Otherwise cut off the phone . ! 😒

06:04. You don’t owe an explanation

[LucaMuntz]

I have ADHD and OCD so I can find conversation extremely draining. My brother in law doesn’t know when people don’t want him to talk anymore, myself included!

[swim]

This was so helpful and the reason I've been so frustrated. A friend upset I didn't invite her on my vacation but she talks every second and always giving advice and doesn't call before they come over after they know I don't like it make me feel bad and guilt trip me over it but she wasn't invited

[wellwouldyalookitthat]

I paused 1 min and 21 seconds in to say I disagree with the first piece of advice. Only because it's not one that works for me 🥺😭 "begin the conversation by explaining you only have x amount of time to chat because of *insert reason*"

I open the doors at work. I'm the first to arrive. About 2 hrs after I open, all the other employees come in and start CHATTING MY EARS OFF. And it lasts- All Day. Every Day. They are all very nice, but all also Very rude with the incessant talking. They're ALL women. I'm a woman too, but at the end of the day I CAN'T WAIT to get home to my QUIET home full of men xD 😆 (my husband & my son)

I shouldn't HAVE to lie and say that I'm needed elsewhere when that's not the case. I'm seeking a more honest approach. I will now commence watching the rest of this video. Thank you for sharing

[dw]

I try to stay in touch with my mom but every time I reach out to her I feel like I've been vomited on as there always seems to be Drama in her life and that's all she talks about when I call her. I have always felt like she only stops to ask me how I am just so she doesn't seem like she's being selfish which she is, I don't feel alot of times like she really cares about what is going on with me, I may be wrong but it's easy to feel that way when all she talks about is all her Drama and health issues .

[unitedstatesdale]

I've had very good results by simply communicating a STFU sentence to the over talkers.