Gaslighting By A Narcissist | 19 Phrases they use

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Timestamps:
00:00 | Definition
00:21 | Phrase 1
01:11 | Phrase 2
02:10 | Phrase 3
02:41 | Phrase 4
03:34 | Phrase 5
04:11 | Phrase 6
05:03 | Phrase 7
06:05 | Phrase 8
06:34 | Phrase 9
07:05 | Phrase 10
08:03 | Phrase 11
08:44 | Phrase 12
09:37 | Phrase 13
10:31 | Phrase 14
10:59 | Phrase 15
12:27 | Phrase 16
13:22 | Phrase 17
14:07 | Phrase 18
14:41 | Phrase 19
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"Gaslighting—a type of psychological abuse aimed at making victims seem or feel “crazy,” creating a “surreal” interpersonal environment"
- Paige L. Sweet
In This insightful video, you will learn about 19 phrases you can commonly hear from Narcissists as they gaslight you
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE.
ALL RE-ENACTMENT CONTENT IN THIS VIDEO IS STRICTLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES
PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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#narcissist #emotionalabuse #narcissism

[RICHARDGRANNON]

Share some of the gaslighting phrases you have heard before in the comments below!

[etrain]

“Everyone thinks you’re crazy, it’s not just me”

[annastone]

I can’t believe I have spent SO MUCH OF MY LIFE doing the following!:

- trying to be less sensitive
- trying to be ‘more positive’
- trying not to ‘think so much’
- trying to see the best in people and not focus on other aspects
- trying not to be so critical because ‘everyone is doing their best’
- appreciating more and more how lucky I am because everyone has challenges etc (no normal human would call my life experience lucky)
Etc etc

I’ve spent years of my life, trying to improve myself in response to what I thought were honest evaluations of me..but were in fact a false narrative being used to hurt me, control me and prevent me from having any power to survive in the world, let alone thrive.

[eddiethailand]

I actually made a bingo card with 25 of the most used one liners. It was very therapeutic to do and it brings some fun into the game. Now I shout 'Bingo!' every time the narc uses one. I highly recommend.

[i_am_whole_again]

The #1 thing they both said (for over 20 year!) to gaslight me IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!

[brothernorb]

Peterson describes PTSD on his recent interview with Ballard that the trauma is not enough to cause, it's the addition of the realization of just how evil it is that someone would want to do such horrible torture to others and not care.

[KJxxoo]

“You’re so cranky all of the time”
“You need to see a therapist”
“I do support your goals” (while simultaneously mocking my achievements)
“I do those things, you just forget”

[GoddessStone]

What's weird is, those are also the things we end up saying TO the narcissist. "That's not what happened" or "Why do you keep bringing this up"? When a non narcisisst asks these questions, they are sincere. We are trying to understand, so we can find balance, to maybe understand where they are coming from. So, when they use those very questions when gaslighting, we automatically, start looking inside. Because, a kid with narcissistic parents, has one goal, to understand the parent, in order not to trigger the wrath. The only place we CAN look, is inside. Our only defense, is compliance. But, since there is no real causation correlation, we look deeper into who WE ARE as a source for the anger. The questions they are hitting us with, are our path to wisdom, and the questions themselves, are being abused. I'm starting to think the only thing we need to know about ourselves and others, is if we are sincere or not. Everything else, is subterfuge and obfuscation...

[brightstar]

The version of #15 that I received was: “What do you want from me?” After I had caught him cheating, and my answer was and is the same for every situation: the TRUTH. Then I realized how futile it was expecting the truth from a narcissist.

[bohemia]

My mother could twist herself into a knot in order to not take any responsibility for her hurtful actions. I waited too many decades, but I finally ended contract last month. I feel that I can breathe a little better now.

[kathleenburns]

When I would want to discuss something that was bothering me, he would shut me down by saying, “There are many things about you I could bring up, but I don’t want to be petty.”

[lynneleverton]

I never lost my grip on reality and I had narcissists in my life for 55 years!!! I'm obviously a very strong person! I've been called crazy more times than I care to remember, but it was always blatantly obvious who the crazy people were to me!!!

[brightstar]

The most common one I heard from him was: “Are you perfect?” every time I confronted him about anything. The other more insidious version was: “Nobody’s perfect. God loves me just the way I am. Why can’t you?” using guilt to get me to forget about why I was upset in the first place.

[rudabegasschriner]

Thank you Richard for pointing out that it is indeed harder to make and keep friends as we get older. It should have been obvious to me, instead of feeling like there’s something wrong with me.

[leelacey]

My Mum has just used every single one of those in a calm discussion...I'm 40 and she's now 75!

[knitsandgrits]

When I was in my early 20s and trying to get over the abuse done to me by a college boyfriend, Grannon's was one of the channels that helped me understand and move through some of my trauma. This was at least 10 years ago. That's how long this guy has been fighting to raise awareness. At that time, I think he was also coping by devouring knowledge and understanding about the subject of NPD. It made me feel less alone. If it wasn't for men and women like Grannon, who were, IMO, part of the "early" wave of narcissistic awareness advocates, many of us wouldn't have found communities that made us feel validated (if you're a survivor, you know how important it is to be validated when getting out of the abusive relationship). We also wouldn't have as much psychoeducation on the subject. Back then, narcissism and psychopathy were almost taboo subjects. Nobody wanted to talk about it except for victims, because who wants to believe the seemingly nice guy/girl next door is actually a black hole with skin? People want to believe that they'd be able to spot a predator if they saw one. It's a way for them to feel safe, and that's human. Only about 5 years ago did this subject become a pop culture topic, and I believe this was due to the fact that so many of us were experiencing abuse. We saw an epidemic rising, and after nearly a decade, popular culture caught up and started to talk about what many of us had been. I thought that when this time came, people would demand something to be done about the epidemic. Instead, we embraced it. Narcissism is now a part of American culture. So now, even after years of fighting for awareness, the war continues. We'll never stop trying to help those with PTSD and narcissistic abuse syndrome, and we'll always do what we can to bring awareness to this devastating scourge on humanity. God bless anyone who helps fight this fight.

[shelleykennedy]

My personal favorite is that never happened or how cruel they treat you when you are ill or very sick. I am pretty sick and they continue to do all the things to gaslight me.

[private]

Best response I’ve given to them is “I guess we just see things differently then” but this has without fail began their discard phase so only use it when you’re ready to be gone

[jima]

Siblings: "We worry about you". Me: "Don't worry". Siblings: "That's how we Care". Me thinking to myself: "Why do people caring about me leave me feeling guilty and controlled"

[karinchristensen]

Just recently I had a confrontation with a brother who manipulated me into letting him camp on my property. I quickly realized he had to go. When telling him so he started gaslighting, using a half dozen of these phrases. Every time he did I responded with "Do not gaslight me. I know what you are doing. It will not work." That just stopped him and seemed to confuse him. I must have said that a dozen times. Then he would try making me feel sorry for him. I would say, Let me get out my violin and accompany you, poor thing while I pantomimed playing the violin. Then he announced he was planning on leaving anyway which he did a few days later. It is so liberating to be able to recognize, then stop the nonsense in its tracks.