What is 'gaslighting'? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[moonchild]

Emotional abuse awareness should be thought in schools x

[organizedgeorge]

"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."
"I never said that."

[therapybyalex]

It’s not only when a person dismisses your reality and emotions it’s also usually projection. The things they accuse you of tend to be the things they are the one ACTUALLY doing to you.

[Gratitudejoy]

'Do not share your vulnerabilities with them, they will weaponise them and use them against you' 😲 EXACTLY 👌

[ninac]

"You must be on drugs because your mind seems to be altered."
"I wasn't criticizing you."
"You need to change your attitude/way of thinking."
"You're being selfish."
"I never said that."
"It's not that bad."
"You have no right to complain."
"I think you're depressed. You need professional help."
"I was just trying to encourage you to do the right thing."
"Get over it."
"Well, I've never had that happen to me."
"Are you on your period?"

[dansasap]

I think you can add to the gaslighting test: when you start feeling like you need to ask other people involved whether something really happened or to remind you how it happened or what they remember about who said what... it's a definite sign that someone is driving you crazy

[dermlover]

“You just Like to fight.”
“You ruined the relationship.”
“You’re never happy.”
“You don’t know how good you have it.”
“No one us going to tolerate you.”

[jamesm]

My favorite: “what are you even TALKING about?” Feigning confusion.

[ilariocolli]

“You’re overreacting” is another classic. As is “you’re being dramatic”. I just briefly dated a highly narcissistic guy who used both. It wasn’t long at all before I beat a hasty retreat, and I was able to due this in no small part because of the education I’ve received from you, Dr Ramani. Thank you!

[deebrinson]

I heard this one a lot “You know what your problem is? Let me tell you what your problem is.” Finally figured out what my problem was, HIM!

[tbf]

“You’re twisting my words”
“I never did anything”
“Why can’t you move on”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore”
“I never cheated on you”

[spencerjones]

My favorite " youre getting defensive " when you're just correcting something that is factually not true.

[maryholton]

Or when you show honest emotion, you are told you are being “hysterical.”.

[Jo-xncs]

Other gaslighting phrases:

That's not what I said
You must've misunderstood what I said.
That's not what I meant at all.

[hollypirsig]

Thanks to Dr. Ramani, I found the strength to leave a toxic friendship. Gaslighting things she would say to me is:
"Feelings aren't facts"
"You need to talk to your therapist"
"If you want to remain hurt, that's up to you"
And my personal favorite:
"I didn't hit you. You got in the way of a hand gesture"
God bless you, Dr Ramani, for these videos. 🙏

[jgoobix]

I always got, "we've already talked about this"

When we NEVER talked about it.

[utexasgirl]

Like, "You're too sensitive, " I get "You think too much."

[leagray]

I literally thought I was going crazy with my narcissist. I couldn't understand what was happening. Thank you Dr. Ramani from the bottom of my heart. 💜 My feelings are finally validated.

[beabove]

Here's a good one: You make everything about you

[lisamatonis]

And the number one has to be, “ you always read too much into things”