How narcissists set up a gaslight

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[sparkygump]

In the end, once they're exposed, narcs eventually just gaslight themselves into delusion.

[Holeysocks]

The narcissist’s motto “ we are not happy until you are not happy”.

[JJ-ovly]

“Your non engagement is the ultimate rejection”. That’s great.

[mgraham]

If you're in a long-term narcissistic relationship it will change you forever even if you put yourself back together you'll always be a little broken be careful who you trust with your heart

[sweetpeaniecy]

I experienced this recently and responded with, “Whether the attempt to gaslight me was conscious or unconscious, I am going to respectfully disengage from this conversation at this time.” It was an act of self-care :)

[annikamin]

Once you’re labeled with some kind of negative characteristic (angry, hysterical, emotional, defensive, not open to feedback, etc.), they can get away with saying anything about you, to you and others, because your natural reactions are seen through that pathological lens. And the scary thing is that it’s hard, then, to keep your head straight. You start to wonder if they’re right.

[erinb]

This just happened to me yesterday with my mother. She called my husband to tell him she’s worried about our 15 year old daughters weight. Again. I’ve taken her to the doctor and she’s fine, she has PCOS we think and she exercises a lot and eats clean. Context, she recently quit ballet because it was causing her issues. Mom was a pro ballerina and of course this bothers her. So, I text her that she will never discuss my daughters physical appearance again and go around me to my husband. I set a boundary. My husband did too. A series of gaslights came about me being over reactive, again, I don’t understand her, she will never tell me anything personal again, and how she’s a second class citizen in the family. I’m finally free from her control and approval. I didn’t respond. Strength in silence. Hope she doesn’t drive over today though 😂

[Bornintoclusterb]

The problem with gaslighting is that we tend to gaslight ourselves. This is why predators are successful at getting us to question our reality. Stay ten toes down fully grounded and hold firm to what you know to be true. Question anyone who tries to get you to question yourself. ✨Thank you Dr. Ramani, love your work. ❤

[annabee]

Our calmness in response to their baiting irritates the demons out of them. Stay grounded in reality and don't allow their narrative to make you doubt yourself. Be prepared for them to pull out all the dirty strategies. One of the narcs in my life started getting in my face pointing her finger at me and yelling, all while denying that she's yelling when I asked her to lower her voice, then accused me of yelling when it was taking all the willpower in me not to. So when that didn't work, she started attempting to guilt me of all the past "kindness" she has shown me, then the character assassination and shaming, and finally the ultimate low blow. She brought up something painful from my past that I mistakenly confided in her (my father abandoning me as an infant) as the reason for MY nasty attitude! lol. Finally, her husband stepped in as the meat shield attempting to diffuse her and she started attacking him.

When she realized that her own husband and son (she is my mother-in-law) were not on her side, she started trying to play the victim and I kid you not, I watched her brain short-circuit as she started talking a mile a minute, rambling about some random unrelated story because talking is her self-soothing mechanism. It was pretty sad to watch and I pitied her.

So remember, staying calm is your superpower!!!

[hadesashes]

This reminded me of getting gaslit with compliments just so you don't go against what benefits them. "You're so understanding, I'm so glad you're so understanding so I feel like I can tell you [insert horrible thing they did]". Then if you do act without "understanding" they respond with "I must have been wrong about you" or some other guilty trip about a normal response

[belindabezuidenhout]

Worst is when you tell them they hurt you and they say "I'm sorry that YOU feel..." cannot accept responsibility and just say "I'm sorry that I made you feel..."

[davidJohnsonguitarguy]

I let the siblings abuse me for years and wound up in a recovery home at the age of 23. (After the recovery home experience, the abuse quickly resumed, I would chuckle internally thinking I would be the bigger person), (abuse was the norm in childhood too). Fast track to my 50's, I had a mountain of insults, hurt, and pain I had been stuffing inside my psyche my whole life. I found their abuse just kept escalating to the point of it being outrageous. "Why couldn't it be you that died". The whole family is nuts. The only thing that has worked for me is to cut them out of my life...🙂 -I deal with the flashbacks by telling myself that was their behavior-.

[yellowbird]

Even knowing the games and dynamics of a narcissist somehow doesn't prevent the "under the skin" effect they have on others. It helps to encapsulate the experience to a large degree, but the itch is still there. They generally don't let you dismiss them entirely. They know they are under your skin, and they revel in it. They pop back up when you least expect it. It's almost like an exterior cancer trying to spread. Thank you for another video that so pinpoints exactly the earmarks of the narcissist.

[FocusMrbjarke]

Bave been called paranoid before because I spoke the truth 😢

[Eighties-Jadie]

When you described how they set up the gaslight and accuse you of being feisty this reminded me of reactive abuse. When I set boundaries against my whole toxic family and had to get police protection my father called me a Psychopath - this came from the mouth of the same person who abused and neglected me for years in private behind closed doors while presenting a normal loving face to the public. Basically self defence and speaking the truth is seen as Psychopathy in my unhealthy father's eyes all because I no longer accept being abused and neglected as I'm now thankfully an adult who can speak back. Thanks again Dr Ramani and best wishes ☀️

[finetrue]

Omg, this explains a lot! I was accused of “caring too much” about being treated unfairly, and being over sensitive to “careless” jokes or criticisms, and there is no way to argue since all arguments directly prove the accusation. It was so frustrating and I finally learned to say “whatever” and stop responding to such judgements.

[cynthiaappleton]

After watching your videos, I understand that I was raised by this type of parent.

[katerinajoan]

As a waitress, I experienced this kind of baiting all the time. I just learned to ignore what they said completely, smile, offer more coffee, and walk away😂.

At the end of the day, we can only control how we treat OURSELVES. Even if they make fun of our silence, at least we can respect ourselves for not taking the bait and giving them more of our energy.

[justincase]

It's killing me slowly being married to her(covert) & now her mom(covert) lives with us. I went from 192lbs all muscle to 159lbs. I have low testosterone & super weak no energy. I'm staying for my kids. This way I can limit what damage they both are causing to my children.

[abuthabit]

She is 100 percent on point. And if you dont react you can see they look for a rise as they jump to different angles. And when nothing say they are being ignored. Amazing.

These are very trying people.