THIS Perfectly Describes A Narcissist's Gaslighting

It is a given that narcissists want you to doubt yourself, so they gaslight any chance they get. To understand their motive, Dr. Les Carter gives one very succinct phrase to describe what is in their minds. Once you grasp their goal, you can be unfazed by their self-serving efforts.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[ChadBest-uguo]

I grew up in a home where I felt confused, unvalidated and completely inadequate. Just assumed that I was damaged and disappointing everyone. It took me 50 years to realize I was the stable, kind, and intelligent one. It has been a journey.

[IzabelaWaniek-ix]

Narcisists need to control others because they can not control themselves. Thank you dr Carter 😊

[ryangrundy]

“When someone persistently attempts to control you, the strong implication is they feel out of control in their interior” Dr. Les Carter

[rubberbiscuit]

Words never spoken by a narcissist: "Well, I'm always in a learning mode."

[anneyoung]

"I'd rather lie to myself, discredit you, and continue in my disfunction rather than learn to adjust." "the narc. perpetuates their own false reality because they cannot manage truth. denial is a primary coping mechanism a narc. falls back on." all true.
thanks, Doctor C.

[ozzyhouston]

I knew a guy who was dysfunctional that way, yet because he was a covert narcissist he had many people convinced he was the most fair minded, open minded, person on Earth. I knew him for decades before I caught on to the truth. A mutual friend figured him out many years before I did. So, beware the ones who are superficially charming. These Devil's can put on an act, and I guess as the years go by they get better and better at it.

[pugnasilvia]

"You are blamed for their ongoing friction with the world" yap, unfortunately 100% true again dear Dr.

[lisaroy]

SPOT ON. "My denial overrides your intelligence" why on earth did I keep on using calm, rational LOGIC in the face of that denial? The N is so dug in to the position of being right. denial, with a huge dose of disdain, delivered on a river of words that drown out any reasonable dialogue.

[chipang_shorthand]

Deduce the " pattern" of chaos -- as quickly as you can -- is crucial for the defence against the gaslighting.

[amor]

Having to deal with a narcissistic spouse for over 10 years has my brain fried. I appreciate these videos so much. Thank you, Dr. C 😊

[rainskitchenandgarden]

"You don't even know what you're talking about"...when you said that Dr. C....I laughed out loud - you don't know how many times I used to hear that!!! When I used to voice my opinions, I was told that I wasn't being supportive of his ideas and that I was "always" trying to control every situation. So of course at that time, I bought into the gaslighting and kept quiet for fear of being chastised. Gus is adorable, he loves listening to you that sleepy pooch! ♥ Thanks Dr. C for continuing to put out these videos. They are really helping me process and heal. Hugs.

[angelacahill]

Yes, a lifelong issue we've had with our mother is her disinterest in implementing any of the solutions we've proposed to her for her problems and complaints. She clearly just wants to continue complaining. Very weird.

[thefunkybassist]

Dr. Carter is able to cut through all the BS like hot butter, which is a great way to learn about narcissism, thank you.

[CYSYS]

I've been called "defensive" so many times whenever I called someone out for being a piece of shit or dismissing untrue bullshit thrown at me and honestly it's a massive slap to the face every time it happens. It's as if they want me to feel guilty for doing something any rational person would in such situations.

And the irony is they say the so-called "defensive" behavior alone makes ME the narcissist.

[HotSeat]

"Everyone is entitled to MY opinion."
Lol! 🤣

[siriastridkristensen]

🎀Hollowness, calculated cruelty and willingness/aim/intention to destroy someone else...

[zachscully]

Narcissists told me I didn’t understand ‘free speech’ or emotions. 🙄 Knowing I have degrees in Philosophy and Counseling.

[karenmarini]

Les, I got "You don't even know what's going on ".... That was within the first week of meeting him. Yes, I married him after 4 years. He waited another 5 years to tell me he was separating and taking half of my 4 months after our 5th year anniversary trip to Italy. I see now all the psychological, verbal, and emotional abuse that I accepted. I just didn't know these people existed.

[lorinapetranova]

When one is a little kid and endures gaslighting and triangulation it really stir fries the mind until something is seen n slowly realization steps in. I finally broke down at age 14 after being told nearly every day for months that "you're crazy".... first time I ever prayed n cried Please God don't let me go crazy. She's the crazy one. It was a very deep and profound moment. The first step on a long but great life journey. Keep your children away from malignant narcissists and the horrors of crazy making gaslighting. Kids can't defend themselves or run off without repercussions. Many blessings for a more peaceful and compassionate world..

[susanlewis]

I learned the hard way to make my suggestions in public. Narcissists are not above appropriating your input and passing it off as their own (especially in business).