THIS Is What Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist Does To A Decent Person

Drawing from specific comments from viewers and patients, Dr. Les Carter describes how trauma bonding with a malignant narcissist drains an otherwise decent person. He then discusses how the bonds can be broken and how you can reclaim your self respect as you move away from the hyper-control of the narcissist.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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Twitter: Surviving Narcissism @SNarcissism101
Instagram: @survivingnarcissism101

[AD-fbqf]

Did anyone else get a small smirk/smile from the narcissistic partner when you were very down or insulted? It was like he enjoyed my suffering.

[laverdadbuscador]

from my experience the narcissist thinks you're the narcissist when their tactics don't work anymore. Their lack of accountability is insane.

[cherylpalazzo]

Narcissists can read a person in 2 seconds, they usually pick very good innocent people, who have no idea people like this exist.

[MT-txbu]

The most difficult part about this trauma bond is how it slowly tears down your self-esteem.

[tartanbessy]

Best advice i ever got.

"When you are constantly questioning yourself, you are questioning the wrong person."

[PyrPupMom]

When you act like a crazy person only in the presence of one person, and the rest of the time you're a normal human being, maybe it's not you.

[suetipping]

I left my narcissist over 40 years ago. I never remarried; I raised two sons, was always employed well, and am now retired. My narcissist died last year at almost 80. His fifth wife committed suicide. She could have been me. Remember that, folks. If life is a contest, and I know it is not, I won.

[nezivsd]

Love it when the narcissist tells me "you're too sensitive" when I finally react to the criticism and constant little digs.

[prant]

Trauma bond, comes from the push pull, “splitting, ” the narcissist does. If the narcissist was always abusive, the victim could easily leave and never look back. It’s the good parts of the narcissist that keeps the victim engaged. The narcissist knows this intuitively, and acts according. They give out doses of niceness and then when the time is right, are abusive or even have a complete rage/tantrum. My little love bunny would wait until we were on vacation, or in a car for a trip. They love to disappoint you, then observe your reaction. It makes them feel good, it’s just that simple. I think, just writing this, that it’s all about them having revenge for something that happened to them a long time ago you had nothing to do with. So, for everyone out there, the empaths, who give their partner a million chances, demand respect, and love yourself. When you finally leave, and you will, think of the reaction the narcissist will have, and smile.

[l.k.]

They incite you, provoke you, and smash through your boundaries. When you react, they use that reaction to call you "crazy." They in turn use your reaction, to prove that they're the "superior" one. They then slander you with their enablers.

[pantherstealth]

Having been with a narcissist, I’ve never felt more alone and in a black hole in my entire life. Everything being spoken in these videos is real and legit.

[krissyp]

It's never too late to seek freedom and safety. I escaped my trauma bond after 31 years of marriage. If I can do it, you can too.

[billyrayvalentine]

Looking back there were red flags. I didn't realize the extent of the manipulation and abuse but there were red flags. For someone young please listen to your gut. Then move on because unconditional love won't fix it. You cannot fix them. Love is not enough.

[mysticmoon]

This is more validation in 13 minutes than I’ve gotten in 20 years.
A narcissist will make you question everything about yourself and life in general.

[marcdautricourt]

Looking at all of these comments I can't believe we don't talk about this more as a society it is real and it really affects people

[nonserviam]

Sleep difficulty, constant nightmares, anxiety, brain fog, constant fear, panic attacks, constant pain, amnesia, depression, shame to leave him. A total lost of self. Thanks to my deep core faith to God, and the help of beloved friends and therapist I finally took this whole disaster as an opportunity to reinvent a whole new healthy self.🙏💫

[wephotogal]

"I lost myself and how the hell did I get here?" is 100% accurate. I'm in my early 50s and I don't think I will ever be loved correctly. I'd rather die alone than go through that abuse again.

[riverdonoghue]

I wish they would teach kids in school about this because most people especially empaths don't recognise this until its too late.

[cindysmith]

I’ve dealt with a lot of narcissism in my life from parents, siblings, lovers, friends, etc. I live alone now severe PTSD don’t want to meet anybody, don’t wanna do anything, don’t want to go anywhere, have absolutely no interest in life whatsoever, and I honestly don’t know how to climb out of this hole I’m in, so I just sit here as every day just crumbles, into another day of nothingness, have no trust in people whatsoever cannot find it, can’t allow myself to, and scared to death to be loved.

[DatingRulesAndReactions]

When I realized I was bonding with someone who was traumatized for whatever reason I left the relationship. They will gas light you and have you thinking your the problem! They can’t take criticism! They never change! They lack cognitive dissonance. Leave immediately. They also seek out people who need them so they can control and mistreat you.