Can narcissists experience trauma bonding?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[fruhlingsfrisch]

Their urge to control, their paranoia, their anxious attachment style are all reflective of them being trauma bonded.

[yoga.rubika]

You know, your channel needs to be prescribed in each school. Yes, prescribes is the word. Children need to be taught terms such as, manipulation, gaslight, trauma bonding, controlling behaviour, and be given live examples so that they understand what it’s like.

[cowboywithacameratrucker]

My wife was trauma bonded with her mom and brother who abused her. The quote about “loathing, but also wanting approval” is so true. She ended up using me as a scapegoat for all trauma they were putting on her. Nearly killed me watching her let them destroy her then her destroy me.

[laracassar]

That cat makes me so happy 😊 love all your videos they help me so much through leaving a narcissistic partner 2months ago

[richardoliver]

I have been through a lot of narcissistic relationships, and I acted narcissistic myself trying to get validation from all of them. Now I view life like this…I am valuable, not just money wise, but I bring value as a good person to all of my relationships. If my value is not appreciated, I will move on from any relationship as calmly and politely as I can, but the relationship will end. It’s not always easy, but remembering the bad feelings and the abuse that caused them, along with the bad feelings I caused from my abuse (even when I was defending myself); then sitting and feeling, and understanding all of it helps.

[marilynwinters]

Your cat is certainly living without trauma bonding, looks so comfortable ☺. Thank-you for your insightful and compelling words, I needed this today😩.

[libbylandscape]

They’re human like everyone else, it’s just that their ability to deal with the world is broken….and I’m beginning to think that most of them, or at least the one’s I’ve come into contact with throughout my long life, have no clue that they’re the one with the narcissistic problem. I feel sorry for them, don’t want to be around them and their chaos, but still have empathy for a person who’s inner world is so f’d up w/o the ability for introspection, healing, and personal growth….they are stuck in an untenable place. In my life I’ve had some bad…BAD…times (life threatening, etc), mostly caused by said narcs, but I wouldn’t want to trade places with them, there’s no amount of riches, fame, or even somehow extend my life that would entice me to trade places with a narc.

[deborahjeffress]

Dr. Ramani, I fell in love at age 14 with a narcissist. He was cute, smart, athletic. I connived to sit next to him on the school bus. He was so shy at first. I had no idea I was in a pot of water that was going to boil over in the years to come. I was the proverbial frog. It was a slow burn, a slow boil. I consider myself very fortunate to have be able to jump out, stay alive, eventually thrive. I was half dead, suicidally depressed, filled with loathsome guilt. It was my fault our family became fractured: my fault we got divorced. I was not good enough. This is how I was made to feel.

I am so very grateful for all the help I have received from the narcissist aware community. You, Dr. Ramani in particular and others as well, every voice I listened to or read has been like pure fresh life restoring water pouring over my heart, my mind and my once lifeless body. Awake and aware now I celebrate each day. Thank you a million times. Make that a billion!
Deborah Jeffress

[fruhlingsfrisch]

Interesting about the idealisation/loathing mix. That's what my narc made me feel. I love you/ I hate you. So painful.

[terrirobson]

Brilliant. This helps me understand trauma bonding even more on a personal level. I especially liked the explanation of missing "the nuances".

[timothygenaw]

Narcissistic people can experience anything. Pure narcissists are still human and diverse. Only a few very common denominators- low empathy, entitlement, self-absorbed.

[DiscordBeing]

I had no idea that Anger Modulation was a thing. I've been afraid of being 'too emotional' my whole life. My narcissist clearly never had that fear or ever experienced the shame of being angry, ever.

[jessicajackson]

Aww, love the kitty, also yes someone can trauma bond with someone who isnt a narcissist, anytime there is that push/pull dynamic you can trauma bond, dating someone with a deeply dismissive avoidant attachment style trauma bonded me worse than being married to a grandiose narcissist.

[erikavaleries]

They are trauma bonded AF to their own abusers in their family. Mommy & Daddy issues

[trevorlageson]

Agreed, The Nuances need understanding.
Sadly many clinicians lack the understanding of the need to digest the Nuances.

Thank you for your wisdom, knowledge and Understanding.

Peace be with you

[jeepgirljody]

So this was a parent and she just passed now I am trying to undo - redo - reprogram.... forgive. All the things/programming I went through, all the ways I learned how to deal - it all went out the window. I can't even write in a journal. Dealing with trauma is definitely a mess. So now I try so hard not to overthink/catastrophize or assume what others are thinking... small things help. TY Doc R you are a gem to us!

[goodgaby]

Ohhh yes! My ex Narc raged, (rage) cried, hoovered, stalked, harassed, held me against my will, yes, he was trauma bonded. messy indeed.

[firsttbone]

I can confirm everything she says here is correct. I just got out of this very thing and it's crazy how it reads like a playbook!!

[beegirl]

I just had my zoom therapy and got to share your “the hardest question you will ever ask yourself about the narcissist in your life” video. Thank you for all you do Dr. Ramani ❤️

[Wildewhitley]

Incontinent emotions...that's how I'm going to describe my mother from now on.