People DON'T get THIS about TRAUMA BONDING

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT. ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST

LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[jaythehulkmoeller]

It’s like even when the person is no longer with you, it feels like their ghost is still manipulating you and haunting you.

[crystalcole]

I was confused by the hot and cold behavior for years and years and years. Until I realized the truth of the situation. The good stuff is fake. The bad stuff is who they really are. No one who loves you, cares about you, or even just likes you would treat you badly consistently.

People make mistakes, but if someone is horrible to you on a regular basis, or even just really really horrible sometimes, that person does not love you, like you, or care about you. When you finally realize that. For real. When you finally, finally accept that, their power over you will be gone.

[NarcSurvivor]

Narcissists will train you to bond with them over trauma and chaos. As though they’re your saviour or rescuer, to where you can seek a sense of resolve. It’s like Stockholm syndrome.

[youngblood]

Some days the narcissist treats you really good and then they treat you really bad. Even the calendar after Tuesday says WTF.

[Sean-ukbb]

You can go no contact but internally you can remain deeply enmeshed.

[jadegreen]

Trauma bonding is part of the narcissistic predator’s grooming ploy.

[carolynjaynes]

They get worse, never better. Stop hoping and coping with abuse. Once I realized it will never change, I was free to go. It's been almost 4 years since I left. I feel so much better - at peace. No drama. No abuse. No confusion. No put-downs. NO fear. Just a lovely life that is full of creativity, beauty, and hobbies I enjoy. My dog and cat are enough for now.

[NcHammer]

2 weeks after the wedding was enough to walk away but I was confused, embarrassed, blamed myself, and wanted to make the marriage work. Now 1.5 years and I’ve filed and walked away from the slot machine. If the next woman wins the jackpot, it was meant for her and not me, and that’s ok.

[surajswatej]

Trauma bond doesn't lead to true love as many people think. We're mostly feeling guilty if we leave so we stay.

[Jaileneejj]

I remember seeing a comment one day you will get tired of the constant highs and lows and it’s true everyone reaches their breaking point

[sharicoburn]

I had a husband who was very grumpy most of the time. He didnt find joy in anything. I find joy and thankfulness in small things everyday and he could never appreciate the little gifts in life.
He had extreme jealousy of people's nice homes nice cars you know just other people's lives are better instead of ever being thankful for what was in front of him.
Then he would do these passive aggressive digs at me just out of the blue and it always confused me so much.
He was an alcoholic also and finally was diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety disorder after 20 years of marriage.
Then he tried to blame me for his anxiety which is weird because I was the one trying to get him to see somebody for it and I constantly tried to make his life as stress-free as possible.
Well now after 10 years divorced I've learned he still has the anxiety problem.
It was never me.

[Plumduff]

I hate being trauma bonded even though shes gone she's still here in my head.

[tictactoedias]

My Dad who passed a few years back 😢 alway said “ the only way to win at the casino is not to play “ .The only way to win with a narcissist is not to play ! This will now be my mantra, thanks Pop 👴 ❤🙏

[RajeshKankavlikar]

The trauma bond is so so difficult to break. 120 days, pure no contact still the ruminations.... God when will this pain go. Keeping my self busy. In the gym as well but it hurts bad. Very bad 😞

[TheKrispyfort]

Recovering from chronic exposure to trauma is like cold turkey from substances.
You're in for a world of pain while your brain literally reconfigures itself.

Recovering from abusive people is like suddenly stopping gambling when you're convinced you're destined to win big. The fear of missing out on a jackpot because consistent saving a small amount each day is going to take too long, or so we tell ourselves.

There's no near-wins in gambling. Only breadcrumbs and losses. Rarely a jackpot.
Overall, the House Always Wins

[clarecollins]

The alternating behaviour is so confusing and disconcerting!

[suzanne]

When my best friend asked me what a good date/evening with him was, .. I'd think( hard) and say " An evening when he doesn't yell at Me, put me down, be dismissive, or tell me I'm bad at ___, don't know how to do ___..."
A good evening was him being
" Not Mean." She hugged me and said " When you're ready to leave, we're all here for you. " It took 4 more months, but after ten years, I DID!

[Shelley-jy]

Not all narcissists yell, the coverts undermine you in other ways. They love to bait you. It's when you stop taking the bait, they don't know what to do. I've learned to look past the person I'm dealing with who is a covert. Thanks to Dr. Ramani, I'm focusing on where I'm going and not what he's doing or not doing. It's hard, but it is possible.

[mercedesmoreno]

Wow!!!! I actually gaslit myself thinking it was good vs bad when it was bad vs more bad. Going to listen on repeat a few more times. Thanks Dr Ramani for all you do for us survivors. Be blessed.

[LValley-kzyc]

Trama bonding is like quicksand. The more you move, the deeper it takes you to your death. When you stop and focus on the tree branch near by, then you can slowly pull yourself out to freedom.