Signs It's a Trauma Bond and Not a Healthy Loving Relationship/Lisa Romano

#traumabond #narcissist #toxicrelationships In this video, you will learn about trauma bonding, some common signs that signal you are experiencing a trauma bond, and how to begin breaking this toxic attachment to a narcissistic, manipulative, controlling partner.

Do you defend and depend on a narcissistic partner? Do you have an unhealthy attachment to the person you depend upon? Do you apologize for a toxic partner's bad behavior?

Do you live in fear, are you treated with kindness one day and then with indifference the next, and do you isolate, or does your partner tend to want to isolate you? Does your partner promise to change but never does?

If you are in a trauma bond, you will experience low self worth, high anxiety, self depreciation, depression, fear, low energy, and live to keep your partner calm.

Dear One, this is no way to live.

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Thanks for watching Trauma Bonding; Common Signs and How to Begin Breaking this Toxic Attachment

#narcissist #narcissism #lisaaromano #codependencyrecovery #emotionalstrength #emotionalhealing #selfhealing #mentalhealthrecovery

[sharonkostiuk]

They act like they do nothing wrong and we are the ridiculous crazy one.

[fruitypopwhickle]

If possible, try to get as much physical distance from them as possible. Then decrease communication and eventually block them. That's how I was able to finally break away from my abusive ex after 6 years of mostly pure hell. Moving away is what saved my life.

[Wowater]

I’m hurting deeply because I truly loved this person and I’m struggling with the fact that they never truly loved me. And now I’m disappointed in myself and feel like a fool for not realizing what this was and for not walking away. I feel worthless for allowing him to do the things he did and how I could easily just forget or block it out. I’m such a strong person and have been all my life and I can’t understand how I’ve gotten caught in this for years! I feel like no way did I stay for this and that I’ve been drugged or something. This is like almost made up. All the special moments a lie!! The hurt and rage I feel are overwhelming and I don’t know how i can manage all this .

[secondhorizon]

A trauma bond is a hollowing out of an individual's distinct self ~ and replacement of that with an individual subservient to the narcissist (a "co-dependent" who has become incapable of or fearful of individuation as a result of an abiding or complex trauma.)

[izawaniek]

Thank you for this extremely helpful and supportive message Lisa. When you are trauma bonded you are basically programmed to be guilty and responsible for everything and you are lead to believe that you will not survive without your abuser. This kind of bond is unbelievably vicious and hard to break but with facts, logic and emotional control and balance it can be done.

[elisaDiane]

YEP!!! 20 years of this and it is crazy...especially the gaslighting is alot

[fl]

The most dangerous of these types are the ones that choose you SPECIFICALLY for not having a family so they can reach in fast and isolate you by making you dependent then abuse without oversight. That also includes....Landlords, Neighbours, Work colleagues and anyone who can sniff out an opportunity where there are less witnesses to their terrible behaviour. Also I collect "data" but if you present it to these people they like to switch that around and say you're harassing them! You have to be methodical and find people who see through it. Keep their company and form a union. That is the only way...(And escape if that is possible.)

[richardjohanson]

They act one way towards you in front of others...different when your alone...Brilliant Disguise Bruce Springsteen

[busybeaver]

I have found out that my inner critic defends any hurtful action of my abuser towards me. While at the same time my inner critic judges me over the smallest of errors (perfectionism + imposter syndrome).

I have come a long way these past years and your videos, dear Lisa, have been a great help.

Today I can tell myself that I am not my inner critic. I reject the "my".
The inner critics' opinion is not my own.
The inner critic works on behalf on my abuser.
I used to believe that the thoughts the inner critic puts into my mind are proof that I am a bad person.
Today I know that the thoughts of the inner critic are not proof that I am a bad person.
Instead, those hurtful thoughts are evidence of how badly I have been wounded and traumatized.
And that is cause for self-compassion.

I have learnt how the inner critic can manipulate my memory and my perception to keep the trauma bond with my abuser alive.
I am going to cut the trauma bond. I will set myself free. Break the cycle.

[lesaspravka]

I have had this. I even defended them when other people had issue with them instead of just letting them have there own feelings about them.

[dianamelendez]

Lisa thank you again. You have been a huge part of my learning about my own child trauma. I have been in a Narcissistic relationship and didn’t understand why I felt so horrible in a space that claimed it loved me. I have been following you for 2 years

[demigaines]

Hi Lisa And Thank you So Very Much For Sharing this I Am Severly Trauma Bonded To My Abuser/Some One HIGHLY NARCISSISTIC. He Has Beat Me Down So Bad I Have DEVELOPED Fear And I Have Respect And Love For This Person That Abuses Me And Blantly Disrespects Me.

[ronniehdable]

Thank you. I live with this everyday. The abuse is over the top. For 20 mins of love a month. alone always. Thank you

[cindyhernandez]

Ah yes, the agony of the trauma bond. I know that feeling all too well, unfortunately. I had a "friend" do this to me in the past. I know what's up now, and that (rhymes with witch) can't hurt me anymore. I'm so glad I educated myself on narcissistic abuse.

[Sand]

The reality is if you stay with a Narc you will pay with your life, mental health, finances etc..

[christinadonovan]

Can you make more videos about financial dependence on narcissist and financial abuse ❤

[crazykatrockchickhippie]

Did it all for years. Through learning and experiencing this data as you say, I've managed to get logical and not too caught up in the emotions that get me to think this behaviour is ok and stay. Saved me on my birthday last year from a very horrible cruel situation. With a voice inside shouting"this is not ok, trying to keep me in this situation, you have to get out". This time I listened as it wasn't just about me so that helped. Was able to get help in getting home in time to still celebrate with my cat and my mums memory. It is true what you say when you don't comply with them. It's very sad but has opened up my eyes to more stuff that has occured. I don't hate them but bounce between feelings of anger and compassion to why they behave this way, their lifes story, now that I've learned more. It's made me realise it's not down to me to keep trying to make it right. I have my own journey and light to shine and have gone through too much to allow it to be dimmed. Thank you for your videos🌱🙏😻🕊🦉

[aubreyj.tennant]

Nailed it Lisa! Straight talk to the point! Our minds get in the way of our own safety, security, self love & respect. This trauma bond piece of the puzzle has helped me to leap forward in my own growth and development. BTW, I’m 70 1/2. Looking forward to my remaining healthy years. Thanks for covering this subject 🤗😊

[renaewall]

Thank you for your Channel. You're so spot on!

[befree]

This is awakening me to WHY oh WHY did I let my mother have her way when she insisted I have 6 teeth pulled and braces. I was 13 and I KNEW/strongly felt not to do it and it caused a lifetime of major problems and literal disfigurement.

I was more attractive than she was and that was her sick motivation. I keep wondering WHY I didn't stand up to her then. I DID NOT WANT to go.

I was made to feel afraid of her to the degree I would act against my best interest. THAT is the reason. I have replayed this countless times in order to understand the best way to protect myself. The TRAUMA BOND was already in place working and causing me to act against my best interest to keep the peace.

She was a cruel, sick NPD mother. She was an alcoholic and her personality changed when she was drunk to something monstrous and twisted.

When I replay how could I have managed to say NO I see a calm, patient me just sitting still and not complying. My fear was tied up imagining big drama scene with her screaming which she excelled at. Staying calm, peaceful and just say NO is the way. Learning the way out is important for future Narc entanglements.

Learning about Narcissism changed my life in a powerful way. I learned to spot and remove the Narcs with grey rock and ignoring plus just say no thanks. Love Lisa Romano's GREAT videos.