Becoming indifferent to the narcissist

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[cherylhughes]

You have to be indifferent. Otherwise you're still losing time and energy to that toxic person.

[arcadiusfire]

"You can't out love the trauma that made somebody a narcissist." When I heard this quote, it helped a lot with my road to healing.

[ninamc]

My narcissistic abuser texted me yesterday after no contact for almost 3 years. I was beyond indifferent. I was dismissive! It was a great feeling after the 6 years he put me through. I felt nothing . I love myself now & I’m well.

[sandraderoos]

I went through a grieving period before I became indifferent. Mentally giving up on a person was like loosing and burying them. They call me heartless because I'm indifferent, but I know better. Reaching this mindset gave me freedom to live with less anxiety. I love you're down to earth blog.

[shanerob]

Indifference towards the narcissist means that I have accepted who/what they are and that I cannot change them and have no interest in them.

[stacypickard]

Took me over a year and a half to FINALLY feel what you’re describing! To not care either way about my ex. I don’t care if he’s thriving or crumbling. It’s just not my story, any longer. Your videos have championed my progress. Self love and understanding has gotten me to this spot. And I am so very thankful. Life is good!

[asdfz]

The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. And when you finally get to this place, letting go becomes so much easier.

[c_addante]

I have been no contact for over 22 years. It wasn't until 3.5 years ago I crossed paths with that narcissist. There was no feeling or emotion when I saw this person as I was completely detached and indifferent. It was exhilarating and liberating. I knew in that very moment that every decision and sacrifice I had made for myself (as well as going no contact) was the best gift I could give myself. Cheers!

[thedudeabides]

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

Adopting indifference means you just have no more love for a narcissist.

This is the most effective way to deal with these kind of people.

Thank you for explaining this essential coping mechanism to us.

[monicarai]

Indifference is what worked for me. As long as I kept reacting, I was still 'in the game'.

[cpascal]

I grew up in a family that had multiple narcissistic abusers and enablers. For the past several years, I've been doing a lot of reading about other people's experiences with narcissistic abuse and watching videos on the subject. I notice that the more I understand how the minds of narcissists work, and how dysfunctional families operate, the more indifferent I'm becoming towards my abusers. Narcissists all seem to read from the same script, and a lot of the time, they say things that don't make any sense. I no longer take their false accusations as personally as I used to. If I hadn't been around, the narcissists would have only been saying horrible things to someone else.

[ibkay]

The feeling of hurting, disappointment, betrayal and deceit will never actually end.
I have learned that these feelings will come at anytime and sometimes when you least expect it and learning to cope with it whenever it visits.
Thank you Dr Ramani for enlightening and helping us, God will continue to reward you.

[lizfrancis]

Responding to the narcisscist with indifference does a couple of things:

1) It gives me peace. Complete peace...because I am no longer engaging at all with the sick behavior. If I just let the cruel words fall around me and stay calm the narcisscist completely loses their power.

2) Remaining indifferent shrinks the narcisscist. When they make their critical, cruel remarks and I am relaxed and calm...WOW...they almost, literally, SHRINK in front of me!! Their negative remarks, tone and hurtful motives just fall down dead around them. My silence has put a gigantic spotlight on their sickness and sadism.

I...and the world...can now see the narcissist and his/her true nature fully revealed: he/she is nothing more than a powerless, ineffective, tantrum throwing brat.

When I am occasionally required to spend time around this sick puppy, I calmly regard them as a comical little gnat buzzing around me trying to get a reaction. When I simply regard them as a temporary inconvenience...as a meaningless speck of atoms buzzing around me...they quickly become less than zero.

...and that's exactly where they belong...

[jacquelinetillyer]

Indifference came quietly and gloriously. It was life saving! Enjoy the peace, focus on your passions and clean yourself up, your environment. You are safe!

[drgloriareading]

What helped me most was understanding that the opposite of love is NOT hate. The opposite of love is indifference. Getting there is like finding home again. At least that is how it is for me. It took a lot of time because I'm a slow learner sometimes, but the struggle to learn it was worth it.

[LG-kxxl]

That's a word I like "Indifference" since it equals Freedom.

[jessiwinchester]

I was married for 30 years to one of THEM. Divorced for nearly 4 and he's still doing all he can to make my life miserable. It's been a real struggle but I truly can finally say I am indifferent to him. What he does or says just doesn't matter to me anymore. So hang in there gang . . . . you can finally get there.

[kburton]

Your videos are akin to a real loving parent taking a child's hand and leading them out of the darkness. Thank you so much for validating our experiences, it truly makes a world of difference💖

[megha]

I'm a survivor of dysfunctional family abuse, scapegoated by the elders of that family. After 8 yrs of no-contact mode with them, I've reached the stage of being indifferent to them. I feel validated. Thanks.

[lilylady]

Whereby narcissists are indifferent toward others so they can do the damage they do and feel zero remorse, when WE finally learn to feel indifferent toward them it’s about gaining back the inner peace that we deserve. It’s about having the FREEDOM to put our energy to better use. It's about living our lives as we were meant to live.