STOP judging your reaction to the narcissist

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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There's no logic, reason or rational when you are dealing with a narcissist. So you may take it as though it has something to do with you. You may take accountability for things when they refuse to. You may blame yourself. You may feel bad. You may feel guilty for things that have nothing to do with you.

NarcSurvivor
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They pile on the insults, you naturally react in shock, and they punish you for reacting at all. They pile on the lies but refuse to let you set anything straight. Trying to is like drowning in quicksand. The more you state truth, the faster they shut you down. You've got a whole mountain of their lies piled up in your mind that you're burning to set straight, but they won't even let you speak long enough to correct one. It's maddening.

andydufresne
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If you were raised by a narcissist, you were likely taught from the cradle that self-advocacy is "snapping." If you exhibited more sense of self than a doormat, then you were called selfish. It's no wonder that when we respond to poor treatment with frustration or anger or even a firm expression of our own need to be treated as a person and not an object, we are prone to gaslighting ourselves.

genevalawrence
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Its perfectly acceptable to become angry when someone is burning down your life. Had to learn that I was standing up for myself. We are not required to accept people doing the wrong thing to us constantly. They are the ones with the problem of being abusive. We may be codependent, that doesn't give anyone the right to run us over then back up again.

edelweissdebergbaldrian
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I never have to worry about calling myself unhinged because my mom takes care of doing that for me. In her infamous gaslighty phrase, "Why can't you ever have an adult conversation?" HA! Funny how I have no problem in "adult conversations" with anyone else but her, who pushes and pushes until I say my say, defend myself, and then she's now the victim and plays the martyr while I'm portrayed as the immature ten-year-old.

classystyle
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I really needed to hear this. I really feel awful when my standard of self-mastery falls apart for any reason. The drip, drip, drip of their behavior is difficult to navigate around in perpetuity.

createallow
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I went through 48 yrs of being silent. Never said anything about being invalidated, my stuff being stolen, the physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse, being neglected as a child, being disrespected, being not seen or heard, being bullied, devalue, and one day I just had enough. I just couldn't take it anymore.

mday
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My ex wife malignant narcissist was picking and poking and being miserable to me all day. I kept ignoring it but finally after hours on the drive to her parents I couldn't take the extra ramp up any longer.. I hit the steering wheel over and over and finally yelled, fine uve finally made me as miserable as u, r u happy now? I was fuming. What happened next chilled me to the
My wife looked at me with the biggest smirk I've ever seen her make!
I realized, it was her goal all along, to hurt and get me upset and miserable!

audw
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The narcissist will take your defense and making a stand as an act of defiance. They convince you that you reacting to their abusive bullshit is the problem. That you’re “crazy” or “out of control” for saying enough. And over time you begin to believe it. I know because this happened to me.

Permenantlyexhaustedghost
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When pushed, cornered, and endangered, we all have the capacity to turn into something and someone we don't recognize; even the cutest and sweetest of cats turns into a hideous hissing, terrifying monster when cornered. Every rose has its thorn. Unfortunately we live in a society who wants to cancel and destroy people for defending themselves, but there are real people out there with real wisdom who understand. Maybe not everyone understands everything you've done, or said out of madness ... But there's many different people who understand different parts of what you've done. You were tortured, provoked, and brought to states not a part of normal society. Forgive yourself, love yourself; you deserve the best of everything, and health, no exceptions. Stop fear "deserved punishment", it will only make things worse; that is not healing. You deserve perfect health and restoration, with renewed and gained strength.

Unpopularity
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I still remember every time I was facing with the relentless criticising, blaming, harangue, gaslighting, devaluing... I felt my mind was so confused, spinned and couldn't take it to the point that almost like turning insane! I didn't want to hear a word from her and I just wanted an exit. That's why I broke up with her many times.

My tears were non stop when we went to our first couple counselling, she presented herself as decent and logical, and I was the unhinged looking emotional unstable one. Got gaslighted by that counsellor, never again.

Thank you for your validation Dr Ramani.

blee
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Your words resonate within the lonely vacuum of despair, pain, regret, shame, confusion, doubt, sadness, insanity, and rage. In this fragile state, even the strongest elements falter—concrete crumbles, steel bends, iron rusts, and diamonds shatter. It becomes impossible to believe (and bear the burden of responsibility for) that “snapping” is anything other than a manifestation of your immense capacity and endurance, a desperate plea to be heard. Yet, you have remained silent through countless interactions, allowing the narcissist to assume your compliance. But the moment you assert yourself and stand up for your own rights, you are labeled as unhinged. The very thought of it tightens my throat as I write this.

spyin
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Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

juanderuano
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This makes so much sense. I've been judging myself as"wrong" any time I've actually stood up for myself or expressed my wants, needs or desires. This is an eye opener for me and I thank you for this video.🎉

plarsen
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Thank you. I have been effectively silenced. I know that anything I say will invite another onslaught. I wish my sister could love me the way I love her. I am working on accepting the reality…

candacetharp
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I need to learn to stop doing this.

think it’s because people would often say I had an over the top reaction to the abuse, especially the small stuff that built up.

so I’d often call myself unhinged or dramatic because that was others’ perception of the situation.

Bpdbryan
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Sometimes a warranted push back is what is needed to demonstrate that you are prepared defend your values and boundaries. Letting the narcissist know that for you their behavior is not ok. This is how life with a narcissist is.

acasyd
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This channel is a godsend. Trying to navigate living in a narcissist’s house made me feel like the walls were listening! Sharing with a family member only to be accused of being the problem added to the feeling of being “crazy.” Learning about flying monkeys helped so much.

HeatherLSharpe
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Falls in line with a narcissist wanting an appliance. They want to give directives and they don’t want ANY lip.

BUT, you don’t have to deal with that — if you go no contact.

privateprivate
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You clarify so much for me in every single video. You've given me strength. Thank you ❤️

mcanady