The good, bad, indifferent approach to setting boundaries in a narcissistic relationship…

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[pinkmeadows]

The narcissist is so miserable that theyll rain on your parade, talk behind your back about it, talk very negatively about you, then when you keep it away and they find out, they’ll REALLY go hard against you. 😳 😔

[sara-dxix]

My partner saw my book. His first response was, "It must be awful living with a narcissist." Mocking continues. I'm putting my ducks in a row, and I'm gone.

[angellight]

After wasting hours on the phone listening to my narc "friend" I told her nicely that my best work hours were 5am to noon and to call me any time after that if she wanted to talk, I knew she was seeing red. She would typically call me at 6 am with an hours worth of what she did, what she ate, her daughters friends husbands issues blah blah blah. The idea that she couldn't call me whenever she wanted to pissed her off royally. Its been three weeks and I haven't heard from her since which is a great thing for me.

[theyellowshoe]

This is one reason why I treat my narcissist like a roommate. He isn't my husband anymore, I hardly share anything with him. I'm glad my (adult) son is back with me, I chat with him along with my cat & dog. I'm always talking to my pets.

[notayoutuber]

You can set boundaries, but theyll break them. They dont care.

[p.w.]

I feel sorry for people who can't feel happy for others and share in their joy. Narcissistic people deprive themselves (and others) of so many good things in life. It's sad.

[MagnumTriumph]

The narcissist I had in my life (and the reason I started watching this channel) recently died. Never thought I'd be relieved that a person has died but here we are.

[pattybrown]

No matter WHAT I say, no matter how mundane, he will have something debative to say. It's incredible! I'm 70 and didn't realize how truly awful my marriage was until very recently. I am SO thankful for my faith and my godly Sisters who love and support me.

[CrazyEightyEights]

My family has proven it is dysfunctional beyond repair. These people are unworthy of my trust, respect, and loyalty.

[carparthero]

the narcissist absolutely dreads the nanosecond that you become awakened and aware, educated and empowered about their toxic behaviors. and then you realize your self-worth.
setting boundaries is the beginning of the end for the narcissist's place in your life. it's also the beginning towards a potentially better life for you.

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[sharicoburn]

10 years in to a 22 year marriage i realized he would never help with fixing things, the kids, etc. So i relied on me, others, and hiring people to fix things as they broke instead of waiting months to have a working dryer. Then once i became independent, i stopped giving him any attention since i never received it.

[sushmayen]

Don't get attached with them emotionally. Just look at them like a movie is playing and they're just acting out their role.

[Swist]

"Devastating grief, years of trauma bonded hope. Years of thinking that this would be it, that he would finally show up as a decent person." After 40 years, I feel all of that. I realize that he doesn't have the ability to empathize and never will. Your friend hit radical acceptance and so have I. It feels so much better when you finally are able understand that people like that exist and that you don't need to keep trying to figure out why they act the way that they do. Share indifference? At this point, I don't even share that. I can't help but wonder what it's like to have a normal relationship and what the past 40+ years of my life would have been like if i had been in one.

[marioVSN]

All my issues with my toxic mother was always me trying to get moral support from her when I was going through a bad time and she seeing it as a major inconvenience and treating me like sh*t for 'having an issue' in the first place...
So I was always double sad... with the problem and with her invalidation (followed by insults from her)...
5 years of no contact and she still plays the 'good mother' on the internet, for those who don't know who she really is...

[CTHou]

Your comment, “I’m only supposed to talk about the weather? I can’t share good times or bad times?“ That sums up my marriage and a mouthful. I even confronted him, saying I wanted to talk about the deep issues in our marriage that were wrong so we could work towards healing, and he said literally he only wanted to talk about the weather with me, you’re right Dr. Rami, it is not a relationship

[Ford]

My narc FIL raged at my husband and I, why? My husband mentioned that next year, at age 58 he plans to retire. He has worked hard. Has a pension. Contributed fully to his 401k. Provides to us 110% of our needs. Kids have launched. FIL said he couldn’t retire until he was 70. We have no idea how hard it is to live in social security. Well . . . Social security will be our supplement income, not our primary. It was at that point my husband understood “boundary”. Nothing more is shared with FIL except the weather.

[anneplowman]

Dr Ramani I just saw you on the Today show with your book. Congratulations! I was so proud to be your subscriber as you reach all the people that need to know about this stuff!! ❤

[LValley-kzyc]

Boundaries with consequences are amazing. My friend's husband forgot their first anniversary (which also happened to be her birthday). She charged a ring for 25, 000.00 on his card. Funny thing, he always remembered after that.

[moniquejackson]

Brilliant. One of the best Boundaries videos so far. "Boundaries are an inside game. It doesn't work to make it an "ask" or even an expectation of them, but rather an internal shift within you in terms of how YOU interact with THEM."

[christelleny]

An "internal shift" is what it is. Boundaries help us DETACH from the toxic interactions we used to engage in. It doesn't make them stop. It helps us deal with the response. Once you expect the response and control your reaction to it, you take some of your power back. ❤